Monthly Archives: May 2013

Energy Sensations – Update May 27, 2013




I’ve been SO tired and dizzy today so I’m gonna try to make this quick…

Friday night was the full moon lunar eclipse.  During the day I did some heavy cleansing techniques to clean the Shushumna and to make room for the energies that were coming in.  Later during the full moon, I was guided to lay down outside and do the Vajrasattva mantra 108 times.  I could feel a lot of energy moving around on my body and felt a lot of vibration.

Saturday I had an energy hangover.  I woke up extremely dizzy, nauseated and had trouble focusing my eyes.  It almost felt like I wanted to go cross eyed.  I got a little relief if I looked upward…for some reason looking upward took away the pressure in my head.  I mostly rested the whole day Saturday.

Yesterday I was still tired but felt lots of heavy Crown downloads throughout the day.  Today I’m extremely tired and dizzy again…my brain feels swollen and hurts…I woke up early this morning but stayed in bed in that half awake/half asleep state.  Again, I thought it was only about half an hour but it ended up being 4 hours.  During that time, I was shown that I needed to work on my Nadis.  I really don’t know too much about it so I had to look it up…A description of the Nadis and function can be found here:

I was shown that I need to do inversion (hang upside down) to help clear Karmic residue from my system that I’m currently working on.  (I’m working on ancestral crap right now having to do with my mother’s side of the family going back many generations).  The inversion will help to move it out faster, I guess….

Then a picture was presented to me…it was a black and white circle with a plus sign in the middle of it.  There was emphasis on the middle point.  The circle looked like this:


The message that I got from this picture was that it represented balance in the spinal cord?  I’m not sure if that’s correct because it doesn’t make sense to me.  Would the very middle point of the spinal cord have anything to do with the nadis? And if so, how in the world would I balance that?

I did some searching on the internet about nadis and found this which caught my eye because of the picture:


Root (chakra) at the back, Aquarius

Keyword: Consciousness is immortal

Contemplations: Contemplate what is the essence of your life. Knowledge versus wisdom. What do you do to your consciousness?

The everyday psychology of the chakra system

This chakra is psychologically related to how a person is “surviving” and functioning in his physical surroundings, the environment and in society. The degree of balance in the root chakra reflects whether a person is able to manifest his projects successfully in the physical reality, if he can function in a productive circulation with others in order to get things done. A person with a healthy balanced root chakra is content with his work situation and does not experience the environment or society as threatening (unless it actually is threatening). He is able to express his viewpoints, and get his point through. There is a reasonable order in his reality and everyday life; his home is orderly and his financial situation is healthy. If a person is not able to adjust to his life situation, to his surroundings, and if he does not have some contentment or success in his energy circulation and exchange with others and his surroundings, then this person does not have a natural balance in his root chakra. Grounding in a deeper sense means that what you are thinking and what you are saying is what you are practicing in your daily life.

The webpage can be found here:

So after reading that, I’m realizing I definitely need to balance my root chakra…I also found some stuff about Pranayama breathing that said it helps to cleanse the nadis.  I’m going to start practicing the breathing techniques….We also have an inversion table.  My boyfriend uses it to try to take pressure off of his back, so I’ll start using it a little everyday and see what happens.

I have a little baby bunny rabbit that’s been sneaking into our yard the past couple of days.  She’s so cute. She dug a hole under our fence to get in.   I saw her eating the grass in the yard. I went and bought some rabbit food  and put it outside with some water.  It’s starting to get pretty hot out here in Phoenix (around 100 degrees).

I searched “rabbit totem” and this is what I found:

If a Rabbit totem has appeared in your life, it may indicate a need for more planning
or to check those plans already set in motion.
Do not box yourself in a corner. 

This totem may also bring a need to examine the kinds of foods you eat.  Perhaps a vegetarian diet, if only for a short time, can help you strengthen and heal. 

Rabbit is associated with Eostra, the Celtic goddess of Spring,
and therefore associated with Ostara (or Easter).
This is the reason we celebrate with Easter eggs.

Rabbit is also sacred to the moon goddess Andraste,
the Norse goddess Freya, and the Greek god Hermes.
The Hare is associated with the moon
in many cultures including Native American, Hindi, and China.

I never knew that the Hare was associated with the moon…Hmmm…seems appropriate for a very powerful full moon lunar eclipse 😉


**After writing this blog, I realized that my interpretation of my vision was “spinal cord” but it actually meant “Shushumna” or “Prana tube” which I believe is the same thing as the “central channel”…the Shushumna (aka prana tube, central channel) is a nadi and is actually considered the main nadi…Sorry, I’m a little slow sometimes – LOL    I’m sure my guides are rolling their eyes 🙂

Taming the Jackal



I’ve really been focusing and working on clearing the energy from my childhood trauma with my mom.  I’d already released most of the energy having to do with my step-dad, but still held a lot of resentment toward my mother for allowing his actions and not protecting me like a mother should.  For many years I had continuous nightmares with both of them in it….I’m not kidding, I was having these nightmares at least a few times a week for over 10 years…I’d always wake up screaming or crying.  I haven’t had anymore dreams like that for the past 2 years.  I thought that I was through with it, but these recent solar flares and energy downloads stirred up some deep down emotions that I had hidden.

Before I fell asleep last night, something happened that I can’t explain, but I felt my Heart open and release the resentment toward my mother.  I know I won’t get a resolution or apology from her in this lifetime, so it’s been made very clear to me that I just need to do this on my end.  Recently talking to my Dad (my real Father) about it has helped a lot since he’s the only one who truly understands how deeply my mother can hurt people (she took me away from him when I was 3 yrs old and didn’t allow him to see me anymore for her own selfish reasons…coincidently, a similar experience happened to me with my youngest son when he was 3 yrs old, so I totally understand what my Father must have gone through..EXTREMELY  DEVASTATING)… I’ve been meditating and asking for help in doing this for the past few days… I’ve also been wearing my Moldavite crystal everyday with the intention of it helping me to clear my Heart.  Last night something allowed me to do it.  I felt the shift.

When I fell asleep, I had a dream about my step-dad (my mom’s 2nd husband).  In the dream, he was standing very still next to me and I was transferring energy from myself to his body.  The energy was all of the hurt, hatred, prejudice, and disgusting things that he had done and said to me during my teenage years and early 20’s.  The energy was in the form of orbs and it was coming out of my body and going into his.  I was returning it to him.

When I briefly woke up from this dream, I was a little worried that I didn’t transmute that energy, and that I had just given it back to him.  I don’t like to do that because it just leaves the energy around to hurt someone else…but something assured me that this was the way it was supposed to be and I had done exactly what I was supposed to do in this situation.  Maybe it would be a part of his life lessons?  I’m not sure, but I was assured not to feel guilty about it.

Taming the Jackal 

Later I had another dream that I was in a guest house and my Uncle and my oldest (first born) son were there.  One of my friends walked in.  His name is Juan and he has always been extremely protective of me throughout our friendship.  I don’t think I’ve ever had another friend so protective of me.  Juan walked in and opened the back sliding glass door and I saw a beautiful gray puppy with blue eyes and an illuminated blue glow to it (the blue glow was like a 5D color).  The gray color was like the color of this blue pit bull in the picture below:


I went toward the door to look at this beautiful puppy and an adult dog jumped in front of me…I realized that it wasn’t a normal dog, it looked like an Egyptian Jackal that was also the same beautiful gray color with the glowing blue energy coming out of it.  The Jackal was snarling and growling at me and looked really scary like a monster with sharp teeth showing.

All of a sudden the Jackal jumped on me and tackled me to the ground…I was in a seated position on the ground and the Jackal had its front arms around me in a very strong hold.  I couldn’t move because the grip around me was so strong.  The Jackal put its head on my lap and I could feel the hot breath on me as it was snarling and growling.

My friend who had opened the sliding glass door casually explained to me that the Jackal was tuning into my energy and if my energy was acceptable, it would walk away and let me be…but if my energy was not, it would attack me.  I was pretty upset because I couldn’t understand why Juan would let this monster into the house (especially when my son was there, and especially when Juan had always been so protective of me) and allow it to possibly hurt us.

I realized I was being judged by this Jackal and quickly understood the importance of centering my energy at that moment.  I cleared my mind and began to give the Jackal energy from my Heart center…I could feel the current of energy coming out of me and pouring into its body.  Slowly the Jackal’s grip around my body loosened and its entire body went limp.   The Jackal got so comfortable from my energy that it was lulled to sleep.  I thought it was still growling at me, but it was actually snoring!

I was able to move the Jackal off of me and stand up without waking it up because it was in such a deep sleep.  Everyone in the room was amazed…Juan asked me how I was able to put it to sleep because it had never gone to sleep before, and was always on patrol…I just looked at him and smiled without saying a word…then I woke up…

I’ve been thinking about what the message might be from this dream.  I’ve come to several conclusions, but the main message that I’m getting is that I’ve reached a certain point in my clearing.  With working through this childhood trauma, I’ve taken a huge weight off of my Heart.

Anubis Scale

In Egyptian Mythology, Anubis is the Egyptian Jackal God that oversees the underworld. He was known as a caretaker and protector of the dead.  Anubis would lead the dead in the Underworld at the Hall of Two Truths to a set of scales where his or her Heart was weighed against the feather of Truth.  This is where their fate would be decided – if their Heart was light enough, they would gain entrance into the perfect afterlife.  If their Heart was too heavy, they would be sent to the Devourer of the Dead.  The meaning that I’ll take from this dream is that my Heart is now light enough and Anubis has let me pass 🙂

Shiny Heart


Energy Sensations – Update May 17 – 18, 2013


indigo buddha

May 17, 2013

The past 2 days (May 15th and 16th) were big energy days for me…had lots of heavy pressure downloads in my Crown chakra. I was guided to sleep with my Lapis Lazuli crystals the past 2 nights.  I woke up this morning feeling the energies moving on my body.  The word “individuation” popped into my head and I wasn’t even sure if it was a real word.  When I got up, I looked it up on the internet, and sure enough, it is an actual word…The “individuation process, the process of becoming aware of oneself” as described by Carl Jung can be found here:

About 10 minutes after getting the word “individuation”, I also saw a picture of some cut sugar cane pieces bunched together…they were cleaned and stripped of the outer layers, so they were the yellowish color.  The picture just popped up into my mind and then disappeared.  Why am I being shown sugar cane so much?

Before I went to bed, I had a conversation with my boyfriend about all the stress that I’ve been going through with health issues…I guess I was just venting.  All of the symptoms are hitting me at once and causing a bit of fear to creep in which is not normal for me.  I feel like I want to cry to let out the emotions, but I can’t for some reason. These recent solar flares and energies are really cleaning house and it’s getting all of the deep down hidden stuff to come to the surface.  I’ve been feeling resentment toward my mother lately and everything I’ve done to try to clear it, just seems to take the edge off, but it’s still well rooted.

She has many health problems and I’ll be 100% honest, this last week I’ve childishly started to feel resentment toward her for my inherited health problems.  I know it’s ridiculous, but I really haven’t been able to clear this feeling….it just won’t seem to leave no matter what I do….There are a million other reasons why I’ve had resentment toward her in the past (some very serious stuff which I’ve been working through that most people would need years of therapy for), but this health stuff is something new that’s popped up recently.  Before I fell asleep, I was strongly guided to wear a Moldavite crystal around my neck and to have my Black Tourmaline crystal in bed with me.


May 18, 2013

Wow!  I had a really bizarre dream about my mom last night.  I think the Moldavite helped me to bring it to light, and the Tourmaline probably helped to transmute some of it.  I also woke up to the song “Mystery Achievement” by the Pretenders playing over and over again in my head…..I didn’t know the words to the song much less the title.  I eventually found it on the internet and it makes sense that “Ascension” would be the Mystery Achievement that we are all waiting oh-so-patiently for (sarcasm)….the song can be found here:


So in the dream, I was in my mom’s house with her and it was like the astral realm, very dark, grey, and very dirty.  There were these weird parasite looking things all over the house…they were everywhere!  There were some that were around the kitchen counter that looked kind of like this:


And there were also some triangular spider looking things that were hanging from threads from the ceiling and also scurrying around on the floor.  They had robotic movements and seemed to be very intelligent. They looked a lot like this :


I noticed that I wasn’t really that afraid of them like I normally would be when it comes to spiders…I didn’t try to squash them like bugs, I just let them run around me.  None of them touched me, they just scurried around.

The dream showed me that these thoughts that I still have toward her are like parasites in my energy field. I believe the dream was in the astral realm where I hold all of this anger and resentment.   The astral realm dreams have always been a reflection of what I have going on inside.  I need to work on healing and releasing this and I need to do it NOW.

I feel a bit lighter today.  I think the dream helped me in some way.  There’s a full moon lunar eclipse on May 25th UTC/GMT (which is May 24th around 9pm in Phoenix) and I’m going to make sure I go to Sedona to work with these energies.  It’s a pain in the ass to have to work through clearing and releasing this old stuff, it seems like it’s neverending…but I’m glad that I’m doing it now.  I look forward to the day that I won’t be carrying around this heavy load anymore.  I imagine that I’ll feel like a new person all shiny and sparkly 🙂

Shiny HeartShiny HeartShiny Heart

Inner peace


Energy Sensations – Update May 5 – 6, 2013




Sunday, May 5, 2013

I woke up this morning about 8:30am disoriented.  I went back to sleep and had a strange dream.  In the dream I was shown that I had a part of my brain or something in my brain that was removed, but it was a positive experience.  It seemed more like an implant or crystal that was removed. It was explained to me that this thing that was removed served as a block that was purposely put into place by me, and served a purpose for a certain amount of time…but I was ready now, so I had the block removed.  It wasn’t negative in any way, and I completely understood that I was fully responsible for putting it there in the first place. In the dream, it was very liberating to have it removed and I got a very good feeling about it.

When I finally woke up from this dream, it was 2pm!  I swear, I felt like I had only fallen asleep briefly after waking up this morning, it only felt like an hour but ended up being 5 hours.  I felt really confused when I woke up, like I had lost track of time, and it took me a while to remember where I was.  My head doesn’t hurt and I don’t feel any pain.  I feel clearer, but slightly dizzy.  I feel like I can breathe better.

For the past two days, I’ve had large flashes of light in my vision (much larger than usual), Bliss episodes taking over my body, and have briefly experienced sound drowning out completely and silence taking over my full range of hearing.  I’ve had tones take over my hearing in the past, but this is different…it’s kind of hard to explain, but it’s not a noise that takes over, it’s actually a huge silence that blocks out everything.

This silence is so big and profound that it has a slight hum to it,  but the hum is not from a noise, it’s from a vibration. I know that probably doesn’t make sense, but I’ve experienced this loud silence before when I had slipped into the blackness of “the void”. It has a distinct feeling and hum/vibration to it. When I heard the silence this time, I immediately knew that it was coming from the void, it instantly reminded me.

Oh, I also kept hearing the song “Ashes to Ashes” by David Bowie when I woke up from my dream today, and for several hours afterward…really not sure why I would hear that song since it’s supposedly about his drug addiction?  I’ve never had an addiction except to caffeine and sugar – LOL…  so not sure why I’d hear that song…maybe there’s another meaning behind it that I’m just not getting?



The video may not play directly due to restrictions, so here’s the direct link:


Speaking of caffeine addiction, my boyfriend told me today that a former co-worker (in law enforcement) was found dead in his home this weekend.  He was very young (early 30’s) but the rumor is that he died of natural causes (possibly a heart attack).  He was known to drink A LOT of those Monster or Red Bull energy drinks throughout the day.  Maybe that contributed to his heart giving out?


Monday, May 6, 2013

I woke up this morning gasping for air.  When I opened my eyes, I saw a black symbol floating in the air above me.  It was blurry or appeared that heat waves were emanating out of it, but I was able to identify it as a “Buddhist Endless Knot”.  It looked like this picture below, but messier and the edges were rounded off not squared like most of the other pictures I found:

Buddhist Knot

So, I looked up the meaning of the Buddhist Endless Knot and found that it’s one of the 8 auspicious symbols.

“The Endless Knota 2 dimensional drawing of a knot, first seen in the documents of Tibetan Buddhism. The endless knot symbolizes many things. One meaning states that the endless knot stands for the “interweaving of the Spiritual Path,” where man’s destiny is dictated by the movement of time and the eventual changes that are bound to happen. Others say that the endless knot is the intertwining of compassion with wisdom. In Tantric Yoga, it has come to mean the link between the physical and the metaphysical world.  The endless knot may also be called “the mystic knot”, which represents the seemingly endless wisdom displayed by Buddha himself during his teaching ministry.”

I don’t know why I woke up gasping for air because I was having a normal dream that had nothing to do with my breathing.  My boyfriend told me that sometimes when I sleep, I hold my breathe, like I’m doing breathing exercises or something…of course, I’m totally unaware of it if I’m doing it while I’m asleep, but I’m guessing I probably do it to get into a meditative state or something?  It’s not just random, it’s rhythmic… The funny thing is that I’ve never been taught how to do that, so I’m doing it without any knowledge of it in this lifetime.

We sleep in separate rooms now because I’ve freaked him out a few times.  The last time I freaked him out was a few years ago when I fell asleep with my Celestite crystal and asked my Angels to please protect me…I was feeling scared at the time because of some karmic crap that I was working through…he woke up in the middle of the night and saw 2 beings hovering above me and it scared the living daylights out of him…he said he closed his eyes real tight and said a bunch of prayers and then when he opened his eyes again, they were still there.  He was really scared.

He had forgot about it when we woke up the next morning, but I happened to mention that I felt something stroking my arm and comforting me while I slept, and that reminded him that he had seen them hovering above me.  I decided after that night to sleep in the spare room, and I’ve done that ever since.  He’s still got a lot of fear to work through, and even though he has the gift of “seeing” stuff, he doesn’t like it and wants to shut it out…it’s too scary for him…if I continued to sleep in the same room with him, he’d probably be seeing A LOT more stuff…LOL

Today I’m feeling lots of blissful energy on my Crown and goose bumps throughout my body.  I’ve been sleeping deeper and better at night and have been eating more throughout the day. I just have an overall sense of well-being…almost like I’m waking up from a long slumber…I’m sensing that it’s time to move forward again 🙂

Wake Up!

Wake up Sunshine!