Tag Archives: Healing trauma

Awareness And Release Of Trauma

Standard

~ . Some fear the firesome simply become it . ~

It’s been a while since I’ve written.  Over the past year, I’ve had a series of events happen that have been totally and completely life changing/shifting.  I’ll start with one that introduced me to a new healing modality that I had never heard of before.  This modality has offered exposure and healing for deep down trauma like no other that I’ve ever experienced. I haven’t read anything online about others having this same type of effect from the modality, but I’ll share with you, the profound effect I’ve had as a result.

In May of last year (2018), I got a temporary job with the U.S. Post Office in Phoenix, Arizona.  I left my comfort zone job in remote Utah to take the new job in Arizona. I already knew that it was time for me to leave my “holding spot” and a series of events served as a catalyst for the change… I didn’t have anywhere to stay in AZ since my ex-boyfriend’s house was no longer available, so I started to search the AIRBNB website.  There was a listing that I totally resonated with and I made a request to rent a room for at least a month to get me started. After the first phone conversation with the owner, we both felt that there was a connection and she said it would be okay to rent the room on a monthly basis.

Long story short, the owner is a healer/energy worker and a very talented  artist. She is probably one of the sweetest souls I’ve ever met.  She just radiates a very calming and Loving energy.  She lives in a beautiful home nestled inside South Mountain right near the border of Tempe, AZ. She has a telepathic energy transmuting pitbull and a magical Goddess cat lol…. After a couple of weeks of staying in the home, she casually mentioned “Let me know when you want me to run your bars”….and I was like “Huh???”

I had no idea what she meant by that. What does “run your bars” mean? It ended up that she remembers a full conversation that we had about her doing the Access Consciousness healing modality on me, which focuses on touch points on your head that they call “bars”.  In this conversation, I had agreed to have it done.

We actually didn’t have the conversation that she remembered, but I trusted that she probably had it in a dream or in another realm. Since this has happened to me with other people remembering full conversations with me that never took place, I just went with it.  Either way, I felt good about it, so I agreed (again) lol.

The treatment, I’m guessing, takes approximately 1 hr on average, but you can go longer if needed.  We ended up going for almost 2 hours. I could feel the energy on my head like a Reiki treatment, only, the different bars would cause different sensations in different parts of my body when engaged.  When she got to the “Implant bar” behind the ears, I started to have visions and started to hear things, and to smell things…it was really bizarre the first time that this happened.

The first thing that I heard was pounding, very LOUD pounding. I got the message that this pounding was coming from underground.  I tuned into it and started to smell damp cold Earth, it was very dark. I saw a weathered turquoise wooden box and realized that I was trapped in this box underground.

(It was kinda creepy finding this picture online because it’s the exact same color that I saw..Yikes!)

I was the one who was making the pounding noise as I was frantically hitting and kicking the lid of the wooden box in hopes of somebody hearing my desperate screams for help…I was buried alive underground and left to suffocate and die.

After that vision had passed and played out, I started to smell something burning.  Then I felt extreme heat on the right side of my face. I saw fire. The smell began to change and I realized that it was the smell of burning flesh.  The heat on the side of my face was from my flesh burning in the flames. I was a female in that lifetime and I was being burned at the stake.

After we were done, I continued to have a very active electrical sensation on the right side of my face for several hours.  It’s like my face was repairing on a grid level after I had released the memory.

So I ended up leaving Arizona after a month because the job didn’t work out (I would not recommend EVER working for the Post Office lol) and I was being called to California to deal with creepy ancestral crap involving the paternal side of my family (which is a living nightmare I’ll write about later). When I was done with this other work, I ended up returning to her home in Arizona after a year had passed, and was back at her house again in May of this year, once again, for only a month.

This time we did an energy exchange for each other.  She would run my bars one day and I would do Reiki and other energy work on her at a different time, in exchange.  The next time she ran my bars, and when she got to the “implant bar”, I had A vision of “blackface”.

It was floating in the air like a photograph.  When I tuned into the energy to understand what that meant, I saw myself as an African male standing next to a tree.  I was a slave. I was hanged on that tree and then they lit me on fire. That was a very difficult implant/imprint to remove.  I had to really focus on removing it for quite a while. It took some time, but toward the end, I saw and felt a string (maybe a rope?) unravel in the right side of my jaw.  It was all intertwined and deeply embedded in the bone. It unraveled from my jaw bone, then down my neck, through my shoulder, my right arm and then it was forcefully being pulled out of my right hand.  It was REALLY long, so it took a while to pull the entire string/rope out. I have a feeling that this string/rope is some type of implant regarding hanging. Now that it’s in awareness, it should be easier to clear on other people.  That implant was a sneaky one that’s hard to detect. (**Also, in my personal experience, this implant may also be linked to suicidal thoughts having to do with hanging oneself, which I’ll also write about later).

The next and last time she ran my bars and got to the implant bar, I had a vision of a Knight’s Templar male.  First I saw the symbol, then I saw the sword.

In part of the vision, the sword was placed in my spine (energetically).  The top handle part was where my shoulders were, and the length of the sword pointing downward was in my spine.  I realized that the sword was energetically embedded in my spine when I took the Templar oath. I saw myself as a Knight kneeling.

I felt the strong sensation of loyalty and sense of purpose that I had invoked. It was overwhelmingly strong.  I knew that the oath was affecting my life now, that despite doing numerous vow and contract release techniques, that the sword had still been embedded in my spine on a different level. That one was also difficult to remove because there was such a strong sense of loyalty. It’s almost like a guilt feeling that I’ve abandoned a cause that I believed in so deeply and felt so passionate about. I had the same guilt type feeling in releasing Bodhisattva vows as well…But what I’ve come to realize is that in believing so passionately that we need to keep that vow, in attachment to the belief that we need to save someone or something, we’re actually creating it and keeping the need alive, we’re feeding it energy.  Once we release the belief in that need, in that vow, then the actual need for saving – the reflection of that in this world – will be released. That was a big realization for me. Quite profound…

So after these experiences with this type of trauma/death release, it was brought to my attention that for me personally, this was connected with “bullying” in my life. These deaths that I had experienced in other lifetimes have imprinted a type of trauma/wound that was reflecting/attracting bullying energy.  People being mean, people judging me for being different, people not liking me and making fun of me….this was all connected to the trauma of being condemned to death for being different in other lifetimes or for being a threat to their power over other people.

Maybe we all have such implants/imprints in consciousness;  being burned at the stake for being a witch or a healer, buried alive for being a threat in exposing the truth, Knights Templar destroyed by King Phillip’s command, beheaded for various reasons from various Royalty figures, lynched, starved to death, gassed, stoned, drowned because of our race or the color of our skin.

I’m sure I have more to clear and will definitely continue with my bars sessions.  Although it’s very sad and can be painful to tap into those energies, it’s also very interesting to see where each one connects with what is currently going on in this lifetime, what triggers are related to the particular imprint in consciousness.

But now that it’s in awareness, it should be easier to clear on myself and on others.  I am very Grateful

 ………….~Still We Rise~

Advertisements

Taming the Jackal

Standard

jackal

I’ve really been focusing and working on clearing the energy from my childhood trauma with my mom.  I’d already released most of the energy having to do with my step-dad, but still held a lot of resentment toward my mother for allowing his actions and not protecting me like a mother should.  For many years I had continuous nightmares with both of them in it….I’m not kidding, I was having these nightmares at least a few times a week for over 10 years…I’d always wake up screaming or crying.  I haven’t had anymore dreams like that for the past 2 years.  I thought that I was through with it, but these recent solar flares and energy downloads stirred up some deep down emotions that I had hidden.

Before I fell asleep last night, something happened that I can’t explain, but I felt my Heart open and release the resentment toward my mother.  I know I won’t get a resolution or apology from her in this lifetime, so it’s been made very clear to me that I just need to do this on my end.  Recently talking to my Dad (my real Father) about it has helped a lot since he’s the only one who truly understands how deeply my mother can hurt people (she took me away from him when I was 3 yrs old and didn’t allow him to see me anymore for her own selfish reasons…coincidently, a similar experience happened to me with my youngest son when he was 3 yrs old, so I totally understand what my Father must have gone through..EXTREMELY  DEVASTATING)… I’ve been meditating and asking for help in doing this for the past few days… I’ve also been wearing my Moldavite crystal everyday with the intention of it helping me to clear my Heart.  Last night something allowed me to do it.  I felt the shift.

When I fell asleep, I had a dream about my step-dad (my mom’s 2nd husband).  In the dream, he was standing very still next to me and I was transferring energy from myself to his body.  The energy was all of the hurt, hatred, prejudice, and disgusting things that he had done and said to me during my teenage years and early 20’s.  The energy was in the form of orbs and it was coming out of my body and going into his.  I was returning it to him.

When I briefly woke up from this dream, I was a little worried that I didn’t transmute that energy, and that I had just given it back to him.  I don’t like to do that because it just leaves the energy around to hurt someone else…but something assured me that this was the way it was supposed to be and I had done exactly what I was supposed to do in this situation.  Maybe it would be a part of his life lessons?  I’m not sure, but I was assured not to feel guilty about it.

Taming the Jackal 

Later I had another dream that I was in a guest house and my Uncle and my oldest (first born) son were there.  One of my friends walked in.  His name is Juan and he has always been extremely protective of me throughout our friendship.  I don’t think I’ve ever had another friend so protective of me.  Juan walked in and opened the back sliding glass door and I saw a beautiful gray puppy with blue eyes and an illuminated blue glow to it (the blue glow was like a 5D color).  The gray color was like the color of this blue pit bull in the picture below:

bluepit

I went toward the door to look at this beautiful puppy and an adult dog jumped in front of me…I realized that it wasn’t a normal dog, it looked like an Egyptian Jackal that was also the same beautiful gray color with the glowing blue energy coming out of it.  The Jackal was snarling and growling at me and looked really scary like a monster with sharp teeth showing.

All of a sudden the Jackal jumped on me and tackled me to the ground…I was in a seated position on the ground and the Jackal had its front arms around me in a very strong hold.  I couldn’t move because the grip around me was so strong.  The Jackal put its head on my lap and I could feel the hot breath on me as it was snarling and growling.

My friend who had opened the sliding glass door casually explained to me that the Jackal was tuning into my energy and if my energy was acceptable, it would walk away and let me be…but if my energy was not, it would attack me.  I was pretty upset because I couldn’t understand why Juan would let this monster into the house (especially when my son was there, and especially when Juan had always been so protective of me) and allow it to possibly hurt us.

I realized I was being judged by this Jackal and quickly understood the importance of centering my energy at that moment.  I cleared my mind and began to give the Jackal energy from my Heart center…I could feel the current of energy coming out of me and pouring into its body.  Slowly the Jackal’s grip around my body loosened and its entire body went limp.   The Jackal got so comfortable from my energy that it was lulled to sleep.  I thought it was still growling at me, but it was actually snoring!

I was able to move the Jackal off of me and stand up without waking it up because it was in such a deep sleep.  Everyone in the room was amazed…Juan asked me how I was able to put it to sleep because it had never gone to sleep before, and was always on patrol…I just looked at him and smiled without saying a word…then I woke up…

I’ve been thinking about what the message might be from this dream.  I’ve come to several conclusions, but the main message that I’m getting is that I’ve reached a certain point in my clearing.  With working through this childhood trauma, I’ve taken a huge weight off of my Heart.

Anubis Scale

In Egyptian Mythology, Anubis is the Egyptian Jackal God that oversees the underworld. He was known as a caretaker and protector of the dead.  Anubis would lead the dead in the Underworld at the Hall of Two Truths to a set of scales where his or her Heart was weighed against the feather of Truth.  This is where their fate would be decided – if their Heart was light enough, they would gain entrance into the perfect afterlife.  If their Heart was too heavy, they would be sent to the Devourer of the Dead.  The meaning that I’ll take from this dream is that my Heart is now light enough and Anubis has let me pass 🙂

Shiny Heart

.