Energy Sensations – Update June 28th, 2020

Artwork: Orange seeds – by Jo Jayson 2008 https://www.etsy.com/shop/JoJaysonGoddessArt

“When you feel you are being moved by the creative spirit, you are in fact being moved by the Divine Feminine” – Teri Degler ❤

 

I decided that it was time to leave the campsite in Williams, AZ.  The high elevation (7000 feet) was very hard on my physical body and after 3 months of being there, I started to feel very uncomfortable.  For whatever reason, high elevations affect my kidneys and less oxygen saturation caused severe fatigue and dizziness.  There were other reasons why I decided to leave, but not feeling well everyday was the most important.

I had been saving money so that I can move out of the U.S. mainland, but with COVID-19, that probably won’t happen anytime soon.  I just accepted that I’m gonna be here for a while and decided that the best thing to do at the moment, was to move back to Phoenix.  My former boss hired me back right away and has lots of work for me to do, so I’ve been keeping busy. There seems to be a harmony there that we didn’t have before.

While I was in Williams, I made friends with a cute little squirrel :

 

It took a couple of days to get her to trust me, but she ended up following me around throughout the day.  Sometimes she would jump on the chair right next to me.  I imagine there is not much to eat out in the desert area that we were at, so she really appreciated my snacks

I felt a deep connection with nature while I was in Williams.  Sometimes bees would come to me and ask me for a drink of water. Rabbits would come right up to my feet.  The Ravens would copy the clicking noises I’d make to them.  I saw a lot of bald eagles and big beautiful hawks in the area. Overall, it was a nice break from all of the chaos that was going on in the cities around me.  I will miss Williams and the natural flow I experienced while in nature.

Energy Sensations

Last week was pretty interesting…

~ Meridians continue to activate.  On June 23rd, I experienced a sensation that felt like an instrument was being inserted into my right foot.  It was a little painful and would cause my foot to jerk.  I would immediately feel energy flow super fast from the point on my foot, all the way up the right side of my body and then it would stay at the right side of my face buzzing and churning.  It continued to do that for hours, shooting straight up the right side of my body.  I have no idea what the purpose of that was…

~ I suspect that the magnetics are having some large fluctuations again. On June 24th, I was cleaning a vacation rental and when I had just walked into the house, a bird crashed into the window that I was facing and then about 5 seconds later, another bird crashed into the window behind me! In past experience, when there are large fluctuations in magnetics, I have had birds crashing into the house that I’m in, so it happens periodically.

~ On June 25th, I was having trouble sleeping, so I decided to take 2 dropperfuls of High Potency Full Spectrum CBD Oil (instead of the recommended one dropperful).  That was definitely too much, because about an hour later, I got an extremely aggressive and uncomfortable reaction.  I started to get surges of energy in my abdomen that felt like an adrenaline rush exploding outward and it would roll upward through my body in strong pulses that felt like extremely strong chills. It felt like it was completely taking over my body and I had absolutely no control over it.

I started to very aggressively shake with tremors and my teeth were chattering uncontrollably.  After a while, I took some Benadryl to calm down a bit and about an hour later, noticed that when I became calm, I could tune into what was happening more clearly.  I realized that this had somehow activated the Torus sensation and I could feel it churning very aggressively. This all happened continuously for 4 hours until the Benadryl put me to sleep.

I’m not sure why the high dosage of CBD oil would activate the Torus sensation, but it did.  This felt like it was Kundalini related.  It was not the pleasant slow movement that I had felt with the Torus before, it was extremely overwhelming this time. This somehow also blew open my Sacral Chakra area, which I had been having issues with, and now I’m feeling more clear.  Although I’m afraid to go through this aggressive uncomfortable experience again, I’m very Grateful for what it has done for me.  I have an inner knowing that this has somehow “reset” something in my body and I feel very different now.

~I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night hearing something that sounds like a light saber from Star Wars. It’s like the fluctuating humming sound when it’s waved around:

When I hear it, I can actually feel my eardrums vibrating in sync with the fluctuations, so I’m wondering if the sound is internal and coming from my own energy?  I’ve heard it off and on for a few years now.    I’m also hearing sounds come from beneath me, so I’m guessing it’s coming from underground.  There seems to be a lot of activity and movement underground lately.

For myself, things are not changing, they have already COMPLETELY changed…it’s just that I haven’t caught up with it yet.  Maybe I’ve been too busy to tune into it?  I’ll have 3 days off from work this week, which will give me plenty of time to unplug and have some “Now” time.  I’m thinking a visit to Sedona will provide some insight 🙂

Many Blessings

~Elle ❤

 

 

 

 

 

 

Energy Sensations – Update April 8, 2020

Stay in the center of the circle and let all things take their course ~ Tao Te Ching

(photo & quote from Jain108Academy Facebook page)

I’m temporarily in Williams, AZ, which is an hour away from the Grand Canyon and also about an hour away from Sedona.  Through some random sync’s, I found a seasonal job at a campsite that provides housing for employees.  I feel very fortunate to be here, because most businesses are shut down and most people are unable to work.  The governor of Arizona ordered the “stay at home” law about a week ago, but this campsite job is considered essential, so I’ve been lucky enough to still have a job.  It’s only 18 hours a week, but I’m grateful to have a paycheck and to be living rent-free.

I figure that I will save more money in the next couple of months and then hopefully be able to move out of the the U.S. mainland soon.  It all depends on when travel bans, mandatory quarantines and when this “stay at home” law is lifted.  I have a feeling that I’ll be able to leave in June, but at this point, I’m not sure about anything anymore.  This whole experience is so strange.  It’s so surreal…

I was guided to leave Phoenix a few weeks ago.  I had been staying at an aquaintance’s home, named Cindy, that runs an airbnb, since last August.  I’m totally convinced that she and her husband had COVID-19 back in late December (they were never tested for the virus).  Her husband had traveled out of town and when he came back home, he was sick with a cough.  It quickly turned into pneumonia-like symptoms.  After a few days, Cindy also had the cough and began to feel dizzy.  A week later, she completely lost her sense of smell and then another week later she started to have shortness of breath.

At that point, I gave Cindy Grapefruit Seed Extract for her lungs, some Oregano Oil for any possible bacterial infection and had her use Doterra’s “Breathe” essential oil.  She was already taking Vitamin C (which I would later find out was the best thing to do).  It took about a week of using all of those, when she began to very slowly feel a little better and eventually fully recovered.  Regaining her sense of smell is what took the longest.  I think it took a total of about 6 weeks from beginning to end, that her and her husband were sick but fully recovered.

At the time, I just thought they had a bad flu, so I immediately started doing the Neti Pot, spraying Colloidal Silver nasal spray, 2000 mg of Vitamin C and rotated between Grapefruit Seed Extract and Oregano Oil.  I was also diffusing Thieves Oil in my bedroom. I guess that worked, because I never got sick or had any symptoms at all despite sharing a space and having close contact interaction with Cindy daily.   I later heard that the virus lodges in the nose and sinus, so doing the Neti Pot and spraying the Colloidal Silver everyday was probably the best thing I could have done as a preventative measure.

This whole thing has been so bizarre.  I feel like I’m in a dream, like nothing is real.   The strange thing is that I feel like I’m supposed to be here in Williams.  It feels like I’m protected.  I have absolutely no fear even though the world is falling apart all around me and the public is going through the panic/hoarding phase.  Definitely feels like I’m right in the center of a storm, in my still point.

I pray that you are all doing well and are able to find comfort.  I have faith that this will lessen by the end of May to early June.  I keep thinking ” 2 months”… I guess we’ll have to wait and see…

Energy Sensations

Since the very first day of arriving to Williams, AZ, I’ve been seeing gridlines surrounding me everyday when I wake up in the morning.  Because of that, I believe I’m here to do gridwork.

I’m still seeing the cardinal cross in the middle of the gridlines.

This morning, before the gridlines appeared, I saw a black symbol in the air above me, that looks like a reese’s peanut butter cup…I’ve seen it before, years ago, but still don’t know what it means:

There has been a lot of blissful Crown activity and LOTS of anchoring out of the feet.  Sometimes the energy is pouring out of my feet so hard and so fast, that it feels like heavy particles.

I felt a new sensation between the Sacral and the Solar Plexus.  It feels like something activated there and energy was bursting out of that area.  I have no idea what that is, but it was really strong.  It happened at two separate times.

Dreams have been very vivid and a little weird.  The first week I was here in Williams, I was having dreams about people that had upset me in some way.  Everyday it was a different person and I would do Ho’oponopono when I’d wake up in the morning. Lately it’s just been random weird astral stuff and sometimes very dark with lots of bugs/insects (which tells me that it’s in the lower realms).

I’m back to eating large heavy, grounding meals.  My body seems to require a lot of fuel at the moment.

Overall, this feels like another “holding space” and I feel like I’m here to wait-it-out.  Everyone is really nice and there seems to be a good vibe at this campsite.  I’m able to have lots of alone time and it’s been really nice to be able to relax in my own space without any distractions.

❤

For the first time in a while, I’m in a Happy space 🙂

Sending Love, Comfort and Healing to anyone who should need it ❤

 

~Elle

 

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Energy Sensations – Update January 11, 2020

 

Artwork:  “Becoming” by Steven DaLuz

 

“The purpose of life is not to transcend the body, but to embody the transcendent” ~ H.H.Dalai Lama

 

I woke up at about 8:00am this morning to a Diamond Solar Heart activation (merging/blending of the Solar Plexus, Heart and High Heart chakras which creates a torus sensation and generates the Christed energy).  It was pretty strong, so it was easy to get completely pulled into it while still half asleep. I guess it feels stronger when you’re in that “in between” state and easier to focus on the sensations.

I could feel the torus movement centering in the Heart area, but I also felt a 2nd torus sensation centering in the 3rd eye area at the same time.  This is only the 2nd time that I’ve felt both torus sensations together….usually it’s only in the Heart area.  

While focusing in on the sensations, after a while I realized that the lyrics from the song “Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In” by the band 5th dimension were playing in my head in the background “Let the sun shine, Let the sunshine in, the sunshine In”.  It was so funny because it was in full chorus just like the song. I couldn’t help but laugh because it seemed kinda corny, but I guess it’s appropriate for what’s taking place at the moment.  In my experience, the Christed state is a unified Solar energy so that totally makes sense.

At one point, I could feel the generated energy start to pour out of the bottom of my feet (anchoring) and I could see illuminated codes moving quickly through my mind in a web (can’t think of a better word to describe it). I ended up staying in bed for 3 hours while in this In-between state until it stopped.

I’m exhausted today and unable to get up and get out of bed.  Maybe from such a high influx of energy. This was a MASSIVE activation that is the result of the unification and dedication of so many.  I am filled with Gratitude for all that have participated in this creation. There is no question in my mind that Magic is real.  We always have been and always will be capable of Magic. 

Energy Sensations

I’ve been getting lots of Crown activity in the past few weeks. Most of the time it’s the liquid Bliss sensation, but sometimes it feels like the fizzy meridian sensation on my head.  A couple of days ago I felt the back of my head fluttering with a flickering sensation for several hours.  It flutters so hard, that it feels like a moth is stuck in my hair.

Nerves have been fluttering and twitching in various parts of my body and will sometimes quickly switch to different locations within seconds. Sometimes the nerves are twitching so hard, that you can see movement in that area.

Meridians have been very active and will feel the bubbly effervescent sensation flowing through different parts of the body.  The sensation seems to be getting stronger and is spreading to new areas that had not been active before.

Dreams have been extremely vivid and I’ve been having dreams about people from my past every single night.  Each night it’s a different person and sometimes it’s a person I haven’t even thought about in many years.

Toward the end of 2019 I was craving carbs and large high calorie meals, but lately I haven’t had much of an appetite and have been eating less frequently.  I’ve been craving chocolate and sugar, but don’t really want to eat a whole meal.

I noticed on January 4th that the tones/harmonics had changed.  It was very noticeable. There was a sense of well-being and everything felt clearer.   I’m not sure how to explain it, but it’s not that I felt/heard new ones, it’s that I sensed that some were missing.  Maybe it’s the distorted ones that were not there anymore allowing a sense of Bliss and harmony. Many people noticed that something was different and I saw that some people posted updates about it.  Even my roommate who is not spiritual at all, casually mentioned that he felt “good and more clear”.

Things are definitely changing.  Maybe this will be a year of a deeper awakening to our abilities…a deeper sense of “knowing”…trusting ourselves more and allowing the flow of creation without the resistance of doubt.

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Believe in yourself and see what happens ❤

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I had to post this version of the Aquarius song from the movie “The 40 Year Old Virgin” ~ It’s too funny 🙂

 

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Energy Sensations – Update December 16, 2019

Things have been a little strange lately.  I’m definitely at a choicepoint right now which can feel like a void.  Usually when this happens, I feel very out of body and floaty most of the time.  I noticed today, while out in public, that I didn’t really feel like I was present…I felt like I was in a dream and everything seemed foggy.

I started a new job about a month ago and I like it a lot.  I’m working as an Incident Response Analyst reviewing documents and emails from companies that have been hacked.  It’s only a temporary job which will allow me to save money until the end of January and then I’m moving somewhere far far away 🙂

I was able to go to Sedona on November 11th and had a beautiful day with perfect weather.  There was a different energy there compared to other times. While meditating, I saw a pattern that at first thought was the flower of life, but when I tuned into it more, I realized it was a pattern that looks like the top view of a torus.  It had a red hue to it. If I opened my eyes and then closed them again, I’d continue to see the pattern.

I also got a lot of red energy in pictures which was something new.

I was gonna go to Bell Rock again on December 12th, but unfortunately, I had to work on that day 😦  I guess it really doesn’t matter where you are, because (etheric) work was still being done on my body while I was sitting at my desk!  It seems so strange to sit in a room full of people while something is reaching into my back, adjusting the side of my face and while receiving liquid Bliss Crown downloads! At times it felt like my face was turning into liquid… I guess I’m getting used to it though.  

There has been a lot of movement in my bones and bone marrow lately.  It can be painful at times, but mostly just slow vibrating movement and sometimes it feels like there are pops/cracks/pings inside my bones.  Sometimes it feels like pinched nerve pain or stabbing pain in the bone. I know that it’s etheric because it’s always accompanied by a static electromagnetic sensation on my skin near the area that’s feeling the sensation. The static energy whips around really fast and feels like something hovering over different areas.

There have been times when it feels like someone is taking a small instrument and scraping out the bone marrow from the middle of my bone (that one REALLY hurts but usually only lasts for a minute or so ). It’s very difficult to explain and I know that it sounds weird.  Usually this bone activity will only last for two days and then it will stop, but this time, it started on December 9th and it’s still happening every day since then. It’s never lasted this long before.                                                  

Overall, there has been a lot of activity and many changes taking place. After a recent soulmate experience that didn’t go very well, I have awakened to a new level of self empowerment and loyalty to self.  

The “Claddagh” symbol  and the “Love, Loyalty, Friendship” that it represents played a significant role in many of our lifetimes together as did Celtic beliefs.  It was very difficult to release this person, probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through because it was so very deeply connected with the Heart.  It did help to reveal the many barriers that I had within the Heart and somehow brought me closer to myself. I am very Grateful for all of the beautiful past life memories that I was able to recall with this person.  It showed me how magical life can be and has awakened me to all of the possibilities of creating that level of Love and happiness in my life now. Just meeting her in this lifetime has totally and completely changed everything for me. I am very Grateful for having met her and pray that our brief reuniting has somehow helped her as much as she has unknowingly helped me.  Even though she is totally unaware and asleep (spiritually), I imagine that our brief reuniting will be a catalyst for her as well… 

I can sense that 2020 is going to hit the ground running and I’m preparing to move somewhere more in alignment with what I’d like to create.  Something is telling me to get out of the U.S. mainland. I will do everything I can to make that happen. As of now, it looks like I’ll make that move in February 2020.

Energy Sensations

Tummo Fire energy has been very active.  I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night steaming hot!  I feel like Keanu Reeves in the movie Constantine when he comes back from a trip through hell and you can see the heat coming out of his body – lol

I’m seeing a bright horizontal indigo blue streak in front of me quite frequently.  I’ll even see it illuminated while I’m in the dark. I guess it’s something in my aura because it’s always in the same place.

The right side of my face has been repairing on a grid level.  I had a past life memory earlier this year of being burned at the stake and in the memory, the right side of my face was burned very badly.  Immediately after the vision and ever since then, I’ve periodically felt movement on that side of my face, sometimes numbness, buzzing and electrical pulses and feeling something reaching into my face as if it’s being repaired.  

Lots of movement in bone and marrow.  There’s also static electromagnetic sensation in muscle lately, which is something new for me.  I sense that there’s something neurological going on as well because of the way the etheric activity feels…lots of rewiring…

My body is releasing toxins and have been breaking out with blemishes on my face which is not normal for me.  When the breakouts occur, my joints and all of my teeth hurt all at the same time. Nerves will twitch in multiple teeth simultaneously.  It got so bad last week, that I went to the dentist and had x-rays done on all of my teeth. The dentist said he couldn’t find anything wrong and the pain went away the next day…but this happens periodically.

Have been really tired and have trouble keeping my eyes open throughout the day.  I am unable to take a nap when I do get the chance to lay down. I’ll just go into a trance-like state for a couple of hours while the Kundalini moves around, but I’m unable to fall asleep.

When I get a new insight, usually within the week, lots of people will start writing about it and posting stuff on facebook or instagram with the same message.  I guess we are all tapping into the same collective. It’s pretty awesome to see this happen so frequently. It gives me a sense of unity here on earth unlike any other I’ve ever felt while going through the motions of everyday life.  It’s comforting to see that things are actually starting to change…like REALLY change to the point that we can actually see and feel the results.  

For the first time since my awakening began, I am excited to move forward…to create a life that I’ve always dreamed of but didn’t have the belief in my ability to do it.  It seemed so complicated before, and then as if overnight, I just woke up one day and had the complete knowing and acknowledgment of my ability. The magic has always been there, it was just a matter of believing in myself. 

When we step into this power, into this self Love and empowerment within the Heart, we will emit a frequency, a harmonic that will change/transform everything around us (think Law of Resonance)

This is where Unity ignites…the Golden Fire of transformation.

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True self Love and loyalty-to-self will change your life … Let the magic begin

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Awareness And Release Of Trauma

~ . Some fear the fire – some simply become it . ~

It’s been a while since I’ve written.  Over the past year, I’ve had a series of events happen that have been totally and completely life changing/shifting.  I’ll start with one that introduced me to a new healing modality that I had never heard of before.  This modality has offered exposure and healing for deep down trauma like no other that I’ve ever experienced. I haven’t read anything online about others having this same type of effect from the modality, but I’ll share with you, the profound effect I’ve had as a result.

In May of last year (2018), I got a temporary job with the U.S. Post Office in Phoenix, Arizona.  I left my comfort zone job in remote Utah to take the new job in Arizona. I already knew that it was time for me to leave my “holding spot” and a series of events served as a catalyst for the change… I didn’t have anywhere to stay in AZ since my ex-boyfriend’s house was no longer available, so I started to search the AIRBNB website.  There was a listing that I totally resonated with and I made a request to rent a room for at least a month to get me started. After the first phone conversation with the owner, we both felt that there was a connection and she said it would be okay to rent the room on a monthly basis.

Long story short, the owner is a healer/energy worker and a very talented  artist. She is probably one of the sweetest souls I’ve ever met.  She just radiates a very calming and Loving energy.  She lives in a beautiful home nestled inside South Mountain right near the border of Tempe, AZ. She has a telepathic energy transmuting pitbull and a magical Goddess cat lol…. After a couple of weeks of staying in the home, she casually mentioned “Let me know when you want me to run your bars”….and I was like “Huh???”

I had no idea what she meant by that. What does “run your bars” mean? It ended up that she remembers a full conversation that we had about her doing the Access Consciousness healing modality on me, which focuses on touch points on your head that they call “bars”.  In this conversation, I had agreed to have it done.

We actually didn’t have the conversation that she remembered, but I trusted that she probably had it in a dream or in another realm. Since this has happened to me with other people remembering full conversations with me that never took place, I just went with it.  Either way, I felt good about it, so I agreed (again) lol.

The treatment, I’m guessing, takes approximately 1 hr on average, but you can go longer if needed.  We ended up going for almost 2 hours. I could feel the energy on my head like a Reiki treatment, only, the different bars would cause different sensations in different parts of my body when engaged.  When she got to the “Implant bar” behind the ears, I started to have visions and started to hear things, and to smell things…it was really bizarre the first time that this happened.

The first thing that I heard was pounding, very LOUD pounding. I got the message that this pounding was coming from underground.  I tuned into it and started to smell damp cold Earth, it was very dark. I saw a weathered turquoise wooden box and realized that I was trapped in this box underground.

(It was kinda creepy finding this picture online because it’s the exact same color that I saw..Yikes!)

I was the one who was making the pounding noise as I was frantically hitting and kicking the lid of the wooden box in hopes of somebody hearing my desperate screams for help…I was buried alive underground and left to suffocate and die.

After that vision had passed and played out, I started to smell something burning.  Then I felt extreme heat on the right side of my face. I saw fire. The smell began to change and I realized that it was the smell of burning flesh.  The heat on the side of my face was from my flesh burning in the flames. I was a female in that lifetime and I was being burned at the stake.

After we were done, I continued to have a very active electrical sensation on the right side of my face for several hours.  It’s like my face was repairing on a grid level after I had released the memory.

So I ended up leaving Arizona after a month because the job didn’t work out (I would not recommend EVER working for the Post Office lol) and I was being called to California to deal with creepy ancestral crap involving the paternal side of my family (which is a living nightmare I’ll write about later). When I was done with this other work, I ended up returning to her home in Arizona after a year had passed, and was back at her house again in May of this year, once again, for only a month.

This time we did an energy exchange for each other.  She would run my bars one day and I would do Reiki and other energy work on her at a different time, in exchange.  The next time she ran my bars, and when she got to the “implant bar”, I had A vision of “blackface”.

It was floating in the air like a photograph.  When I tuned into the energy to understand what that meant, I saw myself as an African male standing next to a tree.  I was a slave. I was hanged on that tree and then they lit me on fire. That was a very difficult implant/imprint to remove.  I had to really focus on removing it for quite a while. It took some time, but toward the end, I saw and felt a string (maybe a rope?) unravel in the right side of my jaw.  It was all intertwined and deeply embedded in the bone. It unraveled from my jaw bone, then down my neck, through my shoulder, my right arm and then it was forcefully being pulled out of my right hand.  It was REALLY long, so it took a while to pull the entire string/rope out. I have a feeling that this string/rope is some type of implant regarding hanging. Now that it’s in awareness, it should be easier to clear on other people.  That implant was a sneaky one that’s hard to detect. (**Also, in my personal experience, this implant may also be linked to suicidal thoughts having to do with hanging oneself, which I’ll also write about later).

The next and last time she ran my bars and got to the implant bar, I had a vision of a Knight’s Templar male.  First I saw the symbol, then I saw the sword.

In part of the vision, the sword was placed in my spine (energetically).  The top handle part was where my shoulders were, and the length of the sword pointing downward was in my spine.  I realized that the sword was energetically embedded in my spine when I took the Templar oath. I saw myself as a Knight kneeling.

I felt the strong sensation of loyalty and sense of purpose that I had invoked. It was overwhelmingly strong.  I knew that the oath was affecting my life now, that despite doing numerous vow and contract release techniques, that the sword had still been embedded in my spine on a different level. That one was also difficult to remove because there was such a strong sense of loyalty. It’s almost like a guilt feeling that I’ve abandoned a cause that I believed in so deeply and felt so passionate about. I had the same guilt type feeling in releasing Bodhisattva vows as well…But what I’ve come to realize is that in believing so passionately that we need to keep that vow, in attachment to the belief that we need to save someone or something, we’re actually creating it and keeping the need alive, we’re feeding it energy.  Once we release the belief in that need, in that vow, then the actual need for saving – the reflection of that in this world – will be released. That was a big realization for me. Quite profound…

So after these experiences with this type of trauma/death release, it was brought to my attention that for me personally, this was connected with “bullying” in my life. These deaths that I had experienced in other lifetimes have imprinted a type of trauma/wound that was reflecting/attracting bullying energy.  People being mean, people judging me for being different, people not liking me and making fun of me….this was all connected to the trauma of being condemned to death for being different in other lifetimes or for being a threat to their power over other people.

Maybe we all have such implants/imprints in consciousness;  being burned at the stake for being a witch or a healer, buried alive for being a threat in exposing the truth, Knights Templar destroyed by King Phillip’s command, beheaded for various reasons from various Royalty figures, lynched, starved to death, gassed, stoned, drowned because of our race or the color of our skin.

I’m sure I have more to clear and will definitely continue with my bars sessions.  Although it’s very sad and can be painful to tap into those energies, it’s also very interesting to see where each one connects with what is currently going on in this lifetime, what triggers are related to the particular imprint in consciousness.

But now that it’s in awareness, it should be easier to clear on myself and on others.  I am very Grateful ❤

 ………….~Still We Rise~

 

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From “A Gift From Gaia” Facebook Page:

I Have Returned

Awaken witches the time is nigh
5 Generations we have waited to fly
The sands of time determined our fate
Delivering us here at karma’s gate

You laughed and cheered as you watched us swing
Guilty of having no man as a King
You tied us up and watched us drown
For selling herbs in our home town

You crushed our ribs with rocks and stones
Screwed our thumbs and broke our bones
Our town elders, it mattered not
Locked in an iron casket, scolding hot

5 Generations we have come to clear
500 years of karmic fear
Judgement and lies, come back around for you
The fake and the false transforms into true

I was a healer, a lover of earth
I assisted when your women gave birth
My crime was a refusal to stop being me
The punishment was fire to set my soul free

I made a vow as I burned at the stake
To return one day, with revenge to take
My screams stayed with you, for 500 years
And have stained your face, in regretful tears

We now can clear, and wipe the slate
And tie up those ends of the rope of fate
I stand by my promise, I have returned
I’ve come to bring change, but have you learned?

Andrea Cutlan
17.02.2020
Birthed at 5.55am

❤

 

The Awakening ~ Part 1

The Awakening ~

When I first had my Kundalini awakening, I had absolutely NO IDEA what had happened or what I was feeling afterward.  The force of it blew me completely out of my body and I was suddenly in another realm.  I passed through the black void of nothingness  until I saw the essence of the Red Mahakala swirling around in the darkness. It looked like red smoke that formed into the face.

I had to pass through the Mahakala to enter the next realm. In this realm, out of the darkness, a beautiful swirling galaxy appeared before me. The stars seemed to have white and pinkish colors sparkling as the galaxy spiraled in motion (I had never seen the movie “Contact” at this point, but years later when I saw it, it brought tears to my eyes when Jodie Foster saw the Galaxy in the other realm).

I just stared at how profound and beautiful this Galaxy was, until I saw a disembodied face with a tall headpiece (like the Thai Buddha statues) appear before me. It came from the left side of my view.

The face was animated and had a violet/pink color emanating from it and I realized that the face was me!  It stared at me for a while, smiled and winked at me and then I was pulled back into this realm where my physical body was.

Once I came back to my body, all of my chakras were completely blown wide open.  As a result, I was feeling a swaying and tickling sensation on the top of my head (Crown) and in the middle of my chest (Heart Center). I was also seeing symbols floating in the air around me and would begin to see gridlines.  I would spend a lot of time staring at the top of my head, in the mirror, trying to figure out why I could feel it moving, but couldn’t see anything moving lol

Long story short, I eventually got on Google (aka my Guru – lol) and searched “feeling movement on the top of my head” and found information about chakras which led me to the info about Kundalini. Until then, I had no clue what a chakra or Kundalini was and didn’t know (remember) anything about Buddhism.   I did find a lot of stuff that would talk about “Spiritual Emergency” and about some people not being ready for Kundalini and having all sorts of problems.  After extensive research, I decided that the best thing for me to do was to remove as many blocks as I could, and to learn how to work with this force that had completely ripped through my body.

I did a lot of comparison and decided to attend some Reiki Tummo workshops mainly because they worked with the Kundalini energy, removed chakra knots, widened the sushumna and also because they are very focused on strengthening the Heart Center.  I knew I would really need to work on my Heart because I had a lot of childhood trauma and had been in protection-mode for most of my life.

I had been sent to Pennsylvania for a work related 4 month detail when I had my awakening. During this time, I was conducting an investigation on a facility in Reading.  The closest workshop that I found was in Maryland…so within the first month of my awakening, I signed up and took the 3 hour drive to attend the workshop.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into but I felt really good about my decision.

The Attunement (Initiation) ~

The house that the workshop was held at was SO beautiful.  It just felt so mystical with beautiful spiritual artwork, crystals and art pieces from other countries throughout the home.  There was a strong presence of Divine Feminine energy.  When I looked out into the backyard, there was a forest of tall thin aspen trees and everything was white and glistening from the recent snow.  The owner had Husky dogs with white eyes that greeted me at the patio doors as I was staring into the forest in awe.

We all sat in the basement as we listened to Carlos Nakai flute music and were surrounded by the soft scent of sandalwood incense.  They were very respectful and required that everyone be very quiet which made the whole experience feel so sacred. When we had the initial group attunement, I felt a massive amount of Blissful liquid energy forcefully pouring into the top of my head.  It was so strong that it caused my head to move in a circular spiral motion.  When I opened my eyes and looked around the room I could see other people moving in a circular spiral motion too.  There were some advanced practitioners who actually had huge smiles on their faces and had their eyes rolled back into their head as they were spiraling !  I’m not kidding, their eyes were completely white!  They were so overtaken with Bliss from the attunement.

During part of the workshop, in small groups, we would all stand around a person lying on the table, and would all channel energy to the person on the table.  The point and intention of this practice was to open the person’s sushumna and to clear/widen the pathway. As I was channeling the energy through my hands, I felt it start to shoot out of my Heart Center.  It was such a beautiful feeling to have this Divine energy coursing through my Heart.  It felt like a pumping motion as it was pouring out.  I was surprised when one of the instructors came close to my ear and softly whispered “Yes, that’s it…use your Heart”.  It was then that I realized that she could actually see everything that I was feeling.

At times during the workshop, I felt out of place because everyone was so patient and Loving and I wasn’t used to being around people like that.  I was still working in law enforcement and had been pretty hardened by my environment.  I knew that I had a lot of work to do and probably one of the most difficult things that I’ve had to work through was getting over the feeling of not being worthy or not good enough to experience this Divine energy.  I guess growing up around Catholics will do that to you…haha

The Clearing ~

After the class, I took the 3 hour drive back to Pennsylvania.  When I got to my hotel room, I cried the entire night.  The initial cleansing process from such a huge influx of energy was brutal!  Before I ended up falling asleep, I asked ‘God’ why I was chosen to experience this and said that I felt that I wasn’t worthy because I had so much negativity from my life. As I was falling asleep and was in that in-between state, I felt something hug/envelope my body and stroke my face in comfort. It lulled me to sleep.

I remember waking up a few times throughout the night and would see symbols flashing one after another in the air above me.  I was getting some type of download.  Many years later, I saw a video where Lisa Renee called this type of download a “ticker tape” download.  That’s a perfect explanation of what I experienced that night…symbol after symbol flashing one after another for several hours.

Early in the morning when I woke up, I saw a little bright blue orb fluttering around in front of my face.  It had little sparkles coming off of it that looked like pixie dust and it landed on my pillow in front of me as it slowly faded out of sight.

Because of the massive cleansing that I was going through from the attunement, I couldn’t attend the 2nd class that was scheduled the next day.  I ended up staying in bed crying the whole weekend.  I had lots of weird stuff happen during those 2 days in bed going in and out of sleep.  I remember that I had a painting on the wall next to my bed and it was of a lake with a tree next to it, on a sunny day.  One time when I woke from sleep, the painting was of the same lake and tree, only it was winter and snowing!  The symbols continued to download and I continued to feel something stroking my face and arm in comfort.

I rescheduled the 2nd class for a month later, but the only one available was at a totally different location in Pennsylvania.  This class would be with a different group of people.  I’ll write about that experience in another post.

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Love ❤

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Dream Work ~ February 21, 2018

I had a really strange vivid dream last night that appeared to be from a past life or parallel lifetime. It seemed very Shamanic in nature and involved shadow clearing, which is something that I’ve experienced occasionally throughout this process.

I was in a dimly lit house and everything was dark in black and gray colors (which for me, has always meant that it took place in the lower realms) with three other Native American people.  I think they were family members in that lifetime.

We were getting ready to go somewhere, like on a trip or something, so we were packing the car.  It was dark outside.  When I was going through the rooms to make sure that we didn’t forget anything, I saw a human tongue placed on each bed.  The tongues looked like they were completely ripped out of someone’s mouth but there was no blood.

After seeing that, I was a little panicked, so I began rushing through the house checking everything.  As I was going from room to room, I saw very tall (about 7 feet tall) shadow figures that looked like the silhouette of Native American elders wearing ritual costume (headdress, feathers etc).

I got the message that they were ancient spirits having to do with sorcery.

I went to warn the family members in the house that something was happening, but they couldn’t hear me.  Then I realized that they couldn’t see me either.  I was confused and the whole thing didn’t make any sense.  I was getting frustrated.  Some of the dream was jumbled and confusing which reminded me of when you watch a DVD movie with scratches on it and it skips and looks distorted as it plays.

The next full memory of the dream (that made any sense) is of me shouting “In Nomine Patris Et Fili Et Spiritus Sancti” (“In the name of the Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit” in Latin) over and over again and the other family members and I did a group hug and then we all merged together as one.  Then I realized there were multiples (like clones) of all of them that kept reappearing, so all of the other versions of them did  the same group hug and merged with me over and over again.  We just continued to do this for a while until it stopped.

I feel that once we all merged, it was finished.  I also get the feeling that the tongues were actually being voluntarily returned to us.  It was like we were collecting parts of self and merging back into wholeness.  The missing tongues had suppressed throat chakras over many lifetimes (throat chakra is connected to element ether).  It seemed as if the shadow spirits were cooperating because everything had been settled (as in debt) and they no longer had a purpose to hold onto…they wanted to move on, it was not a struggle.

Another thing that I remember from the dream is that when I tried to lock a door, the lock was removed by itself and it just floated in the air in front of me.  Then later, after I had finished with that dream and woke up this morning, I briefly slipped back into sleep again.  I quickly fell into a dream scene of a different brightly lit house, where I could see someone walking up to the front door.  I immediately looked at the door handle / lock and then the door forcefully swung open by itself.  The lock was also removed by itself and was just floating in the air in front of my face…then I woke up again.

I thought about it for a while and feel that the locks coming off is a message that once we begin the unification process, that nothing can be hidden or “locked away” anymore.  Everything is shared, known and exposed.  You just have to deal with it because it’s “in your face”…there’s no more putting it off for later.  There seems to be a massive “Return to Rightful Owner” and Unification happening at the moment.  This is HUGE.

When this process (Return to Rightful Owner) takes place, it can be very emotional.  These parts that are being returned have been missing for a very long time.  Once returned, they can feel wounded, sad, disoriented, traumatized, very exposed…I went through many different emotions, but now I’m feeling a strong emotional Love-type feeling right now.  It’s almost like a Motherly Love and protection that you feel for a child.  This experience was something really big for me…I can’t really put it all into words.

**After writing this, I found Lisa Renee’s latest blog post “Point of Divergence” and she explains the current phase which totally explains my dream…Part of it says:

“The gridworkers are called to witness these fallen forces as they surface into our view from the underworld, or from the depths of the lower dimensions. Many of us are acting as transition teams, holding compassionate witnessing, to move out these entities from the AI timeline, phantom or dead areas, and they are both human and non-human entities. This is sad for us when we can feel the pain existing in the lower dimension of the earth, and we are forced to observe and may feel we are leaving certain people behind.  This emotional processing has required a completion cycle of the old timelines, through clearing out ancestral miasma, cord cutting, and disconnection from certain people or things that are stuck in the miasma of the lower fields or moving onto a different path.”

The whole post can be found HERE

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**Also, on March 17th, I found Lisa Renee’s “Shifting Timelines” Monthly Newsletter “Law of Gender” and in it she says:

“In the process of shifting into the next harmonic universe, many in the Krystic family have been enduring an embodiment phase for the new mathematical proportions of the diamond sun 12 Tree Grid pattern for the fifth dimensional octave. Additionally, many reclamation of identities and body parts from the parallels have been taking place, such as a return of the Adamic lines back to the rightful owner to support their current phase of embodiment. “

The entire post can be found HERE

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Love ❤

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Energy Sensations – Update February 9, 2018

Photo – current Schumann Resonance spikes ~ February 7th – 9th

 

I just wanted to do a quick update…

November and December were so strange for me.  I don’t really want to write about it because I believe that it was the dismantling of something really big.  Although it did not affect me directly, I did witness the (many) people around me completely falling apart…even to the point of an actual suicide and also an unrelated suicide attempt (both happening on the same day).  It’s been bizarre to say the least…  I feel that it has to do with magnetics which are affecting the brain. I’m sure the huge Schumann Resonance fluctuations in the past few months contributed as well.

This area of Bryce Canyon has an amplifying effect to incoming energy and seems to support surges (natural and electrical) which can be intense. The tone in my right ear has been ridiculously loud and fluctuating like crazy.  Sometimes I hear a noise that sounds exactly like a “light saber” from Star Wars. I can hear it and feel it pulsing through me at the same time.  I’ve been shown that the high altitude, along with the energy of this area, will amplify effect on cellular structure.  It somehow penetrates easier/quicker?  That seems to be the message that I’m getting but not sure if I’m interpreting that correctly.

The lights flicker here a lot.  There seem to be power surges when the power will go out on the entire property for a second.  I will have to reset all of the clocks in all of the cabins. This is the slow season, so we’re not using a lot of electricity to cause an overload as opposed to Spring and Summer months.  I just thought it was weird that the natural energy is so “electric” and then we also have power surges with the electricity in the area.

There have also been phases when birds will crash into the cabins. I’ll even be in the cabin sometimes and hear them hit.  I’ll find birds over a period of time and then it will completely stop for a while…

 

Energy Sensations

So recently, I’ve felt something new.  Every single day, I will go into an “in between” trance-like state starting around 5pm.   I’ll get this extreme sleepy-drugged feeling and will not be able to keep my eyes open no matter how hard I fight it.  When I lay down, I’ll very quickly go into this in-between state and start to feel a torus type movement.  I can feel the torus movement in the Diamond Solar Heart area (Solar Plexus, Heart Center and Thymus all blending together creating a torus movement).

When I feel that happen, I will feel the Christed energy generating and pushing outward.  I’m very aware of it while it’s happening, but now while this is happening, I’m noticing that there is a separate torus movement in my head.  It feels like it’s also centering in my 3^rd eye/ bridge of my nose area.

When I initially felt the 2 torus movements, it reminded me of a picture that I saw of the Rainbow body.

To me, the picture looks like the energy is centering in the middle of the head and also in the chest like 2 different torus movements. I don’t know if that’s what the picture means, but it reminded me of what I’m feeling.  I can understand the Heart area, but why would it center in the head too?  What does that mean?

Also, when I’m in the in-between state, I’ll hear single noises; knocking, clicking, bells, or tones (it varies day to day).  Lately it’s been the knocking noise, but I’ll write more about that in my next post.  This has been happening every single day for a couple of weeks.  When I snap out of it, I will feel completely refreshed like I had slept for several hours…but it’s only been exactly 1 hour each time.

There have been occasions throughout the day, when I am completely aware of my entire body being made up of vibrating molecules.  It’s so weird because it feels like my body is disappearing.  It’s a totally different sensation as opposed to usually feeling like I’m made out of heavy liquid or melting into liquid.

Lately when I’ve been waking up in the morning I’ve been seeing the “turtle shell” shaped energy surrounding me.

It’s not brightly illuminated like when I see gridlines, but it’s got a very subtle illumination that seems to be a very transparent golden color.  One day when I saw it, I asked what it was, and I got the word “cymatics”.  So I’m guessing that it’s a representation of the tone that’s being emitted.  I’m thinking that when we emit these tones, our field is surrounded with these shapes/symbols.  That’s very interesting to me…I’ll have to do a little research on that.

A couple of times when I’ve slowly woken up in the morning, I saw a quick vision of a dolphin blowing a toroidal ring/bubble toward me.

The ring comes toward me really fast and by the time it would reach me, I’ll snap out of the vision.  I’ve never had any interaction with dolphins or haven’t really paid attention to them, so I have no idea what that means. I thought it was interesting that it was toroidal since I’ve been feeling the torus sensation lately.

All of my joints have been aching all at the same time.  It’s uncomfortable but not intolerable. I’ve tried so many different things to help with this (essential oils, Bio-Astin, Omega 3’s and Malic Acid supplements, drinking distilled water with lemon, eliminating things in my diet) but nothing has helped.  I’m hoping that this is a phase that will pass.  I’m wondering if it’s due to the energy around here…maybe causing a detox type reaction?

Overall, this has been an extremely active time in this process.  I am constantly feeling so activated as my energy field is always feeling like it’s moving/pulling, melting, vibrating/buzzing or spiraling.

I’m very curious to see where this is going…

 

**I just realized that the last 3 blogs I’ve posted were all on the 9th… 🙂

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Love ❤

 

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Scary Monsters

I’ve noticed a lot of fear popping up in the Spiritual community.  There seems to be a fear of predator energy, a “someone out to get you” theme going around.  What I’m referring to specifically is people rallying against certain teachers saying they’re “not of the true light” “assaulting in the astral realm” etc…  It’s almost like a modern day witch hunt.  It makes me sad to see this in the lightworker community, but at the same time I know that it’s something that these souls have agreed to play out in this lifetime.  It is the dismantling of fear.

I recognize this energy because of a scary experience that I had with a self proclaimed Toltec Sorcerer/Shaman very early-on in my awakening.  It was a scenario that played out in my life with the teacher/student theme.  In the beginning, I only knew that he was a Shaman and wouldn’t find out that he was a sorcerer until after I had agreed to be his apprentice.  I’ll briefly explain a bit of what happened…

Back in 2009, I had taken a trip to the little town of Mesilla, New Mexico, with my (ex) boyfriend.  We were driving through a little street behind the shops and when I looked over to my right, I saw a Native American man with long black hair standing on the sidewalk.  He stood there staring at me…our eyes locked.  He was dressed in all white and had a headband on his head that had rainbow colored beading on it.  As I was staring back at him, he reached his hand up to the side of his face and saluted me as he continued to stare.  I have no idea why I immediately saluted him back…it was just a reflex.

I told my boyfriend that the man had just saluted me and a second later, when I turned my head to point to him, he was gone.  We drove around again looking for him but we didn’t see him anywhere.  It made me wonder if he was really there, or just a spiritual vision/visitation.

I was searching for jobs at the time and was so intrigued by what had happened that day, that I had put in for a government job in a town close to Mesilla.  Very shortly after that, I got the job without even being interviewed!  It just fell into my lap.

To sum it up, there was a man that worked there who had a Native American background. He was an older man with gray hair and a strange white glaze over his eyes.  He told me that he had sent out a request (and did a ritual) for an apprentice to carry on his tradition.  He said he knew I was coming (spiritually) because some employees had killed a snake in the parking lot of the building and chopped its head off.  They had brought the headless snake to him to identify what type of snake it was.  In his belief system, he took that as a sign that someone was coming and because the employees didn’t respect the snake, it would be someone who would not appear to be significant.

As naïve as I was at the time, I thought that he would be my teacher and that it was “meant to be” because of the Native American man saluting me in Mesilla and because I got this job so easily.  I had no idea that this was some crazy Karma stuff that I needed to work through with this man.  Long story short, He did some stuff that led me to believe that he was trying to “steal my soul” and it was the absolute scariest thing I’ve EVER been through.  Toward the end of the whole ordeal, I went through one night of terror where the weather changed very quickly, sounded like someone was walking on my roof and the wind sounded like it was going to blow my house down.  I laid in my bed clenching my Black Tourmaline and invoking the Violet Flame! Lol  I don’t scare easily, so I knew that there were other forces at work here…There’s a very distinct feeling to it, and I will always be able to recognize that signature from now on.

I ended up quitting the job and moving back to Arizona within that week.  I still went through scary feelings for a while after I left.  It was a lot of fear to work through for me and a whole process of coming into my own power.  My closure came when one day my boyfriend had gone fishing and saw a snake in the road that had been partially run over by a car.  The snake was still alive and suffering, so he chopped its head off in an effort to end the suffering.

He brought the headless snake home and it was still moving/wiggling around.  I burnt some sage, did some Reiki and said a prayer over the snake.  When I asked the snake to forgive him and to move on to Source, the snake immediately stopped moving.  My boyfriend said he saw heat waves (life force energy) come out of the snake in that moment.  That was my symbolic closure for what I had gone through with the sorcerer.  The loop had been closed.  I felt completely free of any ties/cords/contracts after that.

But in the end it made me so much stronger and taught me not to depend on anyone to decide what I should do or to protect me.  I had a lot to learn at that point and even though he scared the crap out of me, I now realize that he was helping me to pull the strength from within myself…to stand firm in my own power.  He was a Shaman, although a bit dark (and creepy), I now recognize that he was a master teacher and I am Grateful for his lesson.

When you work through your shadows, make your dark aspects conscious, have an integration of all parts of self, there is no longer fear of something “outside” of self.

It’s an understanding so deep that there are not even words to describe the unification, the understanding of all that is.  I guess it’s like a Shamanistic view of darkness, for what it is, what it REALLY is.

Fear is a tricky thing.  It is probably the most difficult “program” to work through…so deeply embedded. When something pings that fear in our bodies, our minds can start making up all sorts of stories.  We see connections and “signs” that point toward whatever it is that we are going to create.  We pick them out, select them from many options.  It makes for an exciting story doesn’t it?

Choosing fear is a crossroads moment.  We choose…we ALWAYS have the ability to choose.  There can be signs EVERYWHERE to remind us of this:

F E A R – False Evidence Appearing Real

“Choose Love or Fear – the choice is yours”

“LOVE is all there is”

“Fears are stories we tell ourselves”

“Fear and courage are brothers”

“Fear is the prison – Love is the exit”

But yet, sometimes we still choose fear.  From what I understand, fear was originally a program for survival purposes…but it eventually evolved into something else in a world that is severely out of balance.  Just take a look at the “Horror” industry.  People use fear and being scared as entertainment.  I will admit, I do like a scary psychological thriller as entertainment once in a while.  It can be an adrenaline rush.  Since childhood, I’ve always liked twisted mind benders…it stretches the boundaries of “in the box” thinking.

It’s all a matter of perspective…

Fear can be used as a tool.  If you so choose, it can show you where there are vulnerabilities, where something is still being held that needs Love/transmuting. In this process, sometimes we need fear to kick us in the ass to get us moving again.  On my own journey, sometimes I needed something “bad” or uncomfortable to happen, to kick me out of my comfort zone…or used fear to remind me that I was much stronger than that, that I was running an old program that was still in the last throes of existence.

When you look at it from a detached observer view, without emotion involved, you can see a clearer view, for what it really is.  Fear is a reminder.

The darkness is a teacher, an old friend in agreement to show you your own light.

As the darkness envelopes the night sky, it allows you to see the brilliant flickering emanation of the stars.

A Master Teacher will “show” you and remind you where your light is…where your strength lies within…and will continue to do so, until it is unwavering and impenetrable.

It’s like “tough Love” lessons that your children have to go through.  Sometimes a parent won’t bail them out or “save” them, so that they’ll learn how to save themselves.  That is our responsibility as a parent, to teach our children how to become responsible and independent adults…and so is the role of fear.

We are evolving into Unity Consciousness.  As the old programs of separation flicker in and out of existence, we may have moments of condensed triggers…fluctuating between worlds.  It’s important, if not crucial, to stay in your Heart Center during this time.  If you’re feeling fear, take a moment to step back and detach in observer mode.  Get out of the mind and into the Heart space.

After many experiences and lessons with fear, I’ve come to the realization that nobody is trying to hurt me.  It’s only a game, a learning experience that is actually in my best interest.  Staying in my Heart has always provided me with the answers.  Finding the stillness within has always provided the space for Loving guidance.

When we truly believe and embody that knowing, the last veil of separation will slowly start to unravel…Unity Consciousness will be revealed.  There is no separation.  It is all you and it is all in Love.  Perspective is a master key…the stillness is your sanctuary…the Heart is your guide ❤

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Awareness/Realization/Embodiment/Integration/Be-ing/I AM that

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Bifurcation ~ Choose wisely 😉

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Love ❤

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❤ ❤ ❤

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 ~* ❤ *~

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Energy Sensations – Update November 9, 2017

Picture : Bryce Canyon, Utah

I just wanted to give an update on my situation before I begin with regular updates again.

Wow…I can’t believe it’s been a year since I’ve written.  It’s been a tough year to say the least.  I’ve been struggling with finding a place to live, a place to call home.  But one thing I’ve learned is that I’m not allowed to go back to any of my old comfort zones.  Every single time I tried to go back to a place I’ve lived in the past (out of desperation) it had a horrible outcome.

In my search for a place to live, I was very fortunate to have found seasonal jobs that provide housing to employees.  This particular job I’m currently at is in Utah right up against Bryce Canyon and about a 1 1/2 hour drive to Zion National Park.  The owners of the Inn are very sweet and appreciative to have me here.  The season ended on October 31st, but they have asked me to stay through the winter and also to continue to work next season.  So now I have a comfortable place to live (my own room and bathroom) for a year!  Yayyyy  🙂

It was very interesting when I was initially driving to get here.  When I was about 20 miles away, driving on hwy 89, I felt a wall of energy hit my face and upper body.  It didn’t hurt me, but it startled me and was forceful enough to break my glasses!  The frame cracked and broke from the impact. I heard and felt it crack at the same time that I felt the wall of energy hit me.  It was so bizarre.  I immediately stopped any fear from creeping in and just kept driving.  I’ve passed by that same area several times since then, and haven’t felt anything like it again.

Since I’ve been here, I’ve been seeing gridlines when I wake up every morning.  Most times it’s the larger gridlines, but occasionally I’ll see the smaller ones.  I have no idea why the size is different.

This area seems to have a lot of electric energy.  Sometimes my face hurts from it.  There are days when I can see a large bolt of electricity come out of my finger and hear a loud cracking noise when I get shocked from touching stuff.  It can be very painful at times.  It’s just random, so it’s not happening everyday (thank goodness!).  My computer speakers also have a weird pulse noise on them when I get close to them.

My fire alarm in my room will act up occasionally and just ring once in the middle of the night…but I do have a history with setting off fire alarms…

There are a lot of mule deer here.  They seem to be very curious with me and will stop and stare instead of running away.  There is a female and two babies that like to come near me a lot.  I got a good picture of her the other day.  She’s very sweet ❤

After having a very chaotic and anxiety-filled year, it’s nice to be here with such peaceful surroundings.  It’s a very small town, so there’s not a whole lot going on.  It takes me an hour and a half just to get to Walmart to buy groceries. There’s a beautiful scenic route I take when I go to Walmart (Hwy 14 through Duck Creek), so I don’t mind the drive at all.  Here are some pictures of the drive:

The night sky is amazing and I can see more stars than I’ve ever seen anywhere before.  I haven’t taken any pictures of the stars, but here’s a picture of Bryce that I found, to give you an idea of what I’m seeing at night:

I’ve been given the message that I need to stay here away from everything for a while.  I feel fully protected by the canyon in my own little world.  This is some sort of “holding space”.  I feel like I’m repeating the same day over and over again with subtle changes…everyday, while going through the motions, it feels like déjà vu.  Overall, this place has been very welcoming and has allowed me to feel very Loved, accepted and appreciated ❤

**Update – On December 15th I saw a post from Maria Bethencourt called “The Transition Between Symphonic Universes” and in it she says:

“The Collapse Of interfered with Timelines has caused Timeline glitches across all matrices As The Heart Collective steps outside of time.  Many feel it is the same day again, a Groundhog Day effect, as they step outside of time and the 4d.  Others feel like they are in an era, like the 80’s, or 70’s.  This is normal. And these time anomalies will stop once the Heart Collective fully manifests their new reality on the new earth. “

I thought that was a pretty awesome confirmation with feeling like I’m repeating the same day over and over again  🙂 The entire post can be found HERE

 

Energy Sensations

I’ve been going through phases of eating A LOT.  At times, it seems that I cannot satisfy my appetite and will eat a ridiculous amount of food.  I’ve also been requiring a lot of sleep, but every once in a while, there will be a night when I’ll wake up every few hours for no reason with an anxious type of feeling.

There has been a lot of neurological activity going on…lots of nerve clusters twitching, pokes and stinging sensations. A weird cluster sensation in the palm of my hands and the middle of my feet that feels like it’s about to cramp up, but doesn’t quite reach that point.  It’s not painful, but it feels like the palm and foot are pulling inward.  Also lots of fizzy meridian sensations in the legs, torso and top of my head.

I have something weird going on with the right side of my body.  I have gout type symptoms in my right middle finger, right elbow and right knee (not very painful, just mostly stiff).  I recently noticed two very small patches of possible eczema on my right forearm and on my right eyelid.  But it’s weird that it’s only on the right side of my body…absolutely nothing on my left.

There has been a lot of Crown activity in the last few months.  As I’m typing this, I’m feeling a small stream of energy shooting out of the right top part of my head and at the same time out of my right knee.

For the past couple of years I’ve had a very strong pulsing sensation in my High Heart area, but I haven’t felt it for about 4 months now. Initially I thought it was my thyroid so I had some medical tests done (blood tests and ultrasound) but they were all normal.   I’m kind of glad that it stopped because it was so strong that it was overwhelming.  Sometimes it affected my breathing and would get extremely uncomfortable.

The Kundalini has been very active and it’s now more of an all-over-the-body feeling as opposed to only working on certain spots. Lately, it’s mostly been the tickling-all-over sensation which is kind of annoying.  I’ve been getting lots of Crown downloads and sometimes feel a weird popping or crackling on the top of my head while it’s swaying.  I have no idea why it’s changed.  In the past, I have felt the popping and crackling sensation in my Heart Center when the Christed energies are activated, but hadn’t ever felt anything like that on my Crown.

Overall, the energy seems to be pretty active now that I’ve found a comfortable place to live and am able to stay centered.

I am very Grateful to be here ❤

Energy Sensations – Update November 21, 2016

I had a lucid dream this morning…I was standing in front of a lady and it appeared that something was bothering her.  She looked like she was in her mid 30’s and had a very heavy New York accent.   She had a strange look on her face and seemed to be disturbed, so I asked her if everything was okay.

The lady told me that she wasn’t sure if she was okay, because she’s been seeing “strange things” that she couldn’t really describe.  I asked her if they were things that weren’t really there, or indescribable shapes?  Her face lit up and she said “Yes! Exactly”.  I immediately knew that she was seeing colors/geometry/gridlines.

I told her that when I wake up in the morning, I see colors, gridlines and odd looking shapes too.  She became very excited and began trying to describe what she was seeing and during that time, she actually started to see it while she was talking to me….so she was walking around staring upward at the air around her.

As I was watching her, I could see iridescent pastel colors manifesting around her as she stared all around her in awe….Then I woke up from the dream because I heard something…

As I was waking up, I realized that I was waking up to loud chimes in my mind.  This time it was different than the usual chimes.  I heard low/high, low/high, then low/low/low/high.  Then a minute later, I heard a loud chirp.  I know for sure that it wasn’t outside noise, because I sleep with earplugs that completely block out any noise…and I sleep with a loud air purifier in my room and can’t even hear that with these earplugs.

I have been shown in the past that the chimes were a marker for a new level/phase/ initiation. The tones represent an addition to the harmonization of group signature tone. In the past it’s been 2 or 3 tones (and sometimes a chirp), but this time it was 8 tones.  I have no idea what that means, but it will probably have to do with the lucid dream I was having.

I’ll meditate on it later and see if I can figure it out…

**Update – On December 6th, Sandra Walter posted an update that spoke of the pastel rainbow colors.  Under the headline “Plasma Visions and Bands of Light” she says : “Last week during Gatework I had a vision of standing on a beach sending huge sheets of 6D pastel rainbow plasma through my hands into the sky, like a protective barrier. I was told this is preparation work for the Solar influx, and the Pacific has been presenting strongly. ”   The entire update can be found HERE

So that was a pretty cool sync after my lucid dream 🙂

……………………………………………………………….~***~

Over the years, as I was slowly coming into my conscious creation abilities, I noticed that whenever I’m distraught and out of balance (emotionally upset or angry), that bees would come to me.

They are not angry, but they will calmly land on me and hover around me and will not go away until I leave the area.  I’ve found that over several years, this happens only when I’m upset (mostly outdoors but occasionally in the house too).  One time I was so agitated and annoyed being around my loud Aunt, that a bee appeared in her car when the windows had been closed the whole time!  We were both startled by the bee appearing out of nowhere and on my side of the car !  It’s happened so many times over the years (too many to count).  I’ve just learned to accept that they serve as a reminder that I need to control my emotions and “chill out” a bit before I get too out of balance.  This may happen to other people too, but they may not realize the connection.

There was a time at my (ex)boyfriend’s house when I was so angry, that as I was walking in the hallway under a smoke detector, the alarm went on!  Whenever I’d walk away from the alarm, it would stop, but if I walked under it again, it would start again.  There have also been times that I was angry with my ex and the ceiling above me would start to make loud cracking and shifting noises.  I’ve always experienced things flying off of the shelves or pictures falling off of the walls since childhood.  I wonder if it was just me doing that without realizing it?  As a child, I had always assumed it was a ghost or something outside of myself.

The person that I’m temporarily living with (because I have absolutely nowhere else to go) at the moment is a VERY insensitive individual (I can think of better words to describe him, but I’ll be nice 🙂 ).  I’ll spare the details, but I’ll just say that a couple of days ago he killed a deer in the yard.  He eats them….He shot it from the back door, so I was startled by the booming sound of a shotgun in the house without any warning.

He knows I don’t like hunting and that I Love animals, so without detail, I’ll just say that he thought it would be funny to leave the deer by my car so that I’d have to see it when I left for work.  The way that he did it, while he was taunting me and laughing, was very traumatizing to me and I will never get that image out of my mind for the rest of my life.  He clearly fed off of my reaction and I could see the whole process of his consumptive behavior.  It was a very disturbing thing to witness.  Some people are so broken/fragmented.  I wish I could help them all.  It can be very painful to watch.

As I was going out to my car today to get something out of the trunk, I saw some dried blood on the ground and immediately started to get upset again.  I was just staring at it while in deep thought, debating whether to clean it, to burn some sage, say another prayer etc… and within seconds, a bee quickly came and started hovering around me trying to land on me.  It just serves as a reminder to calm down.  Sometimes I talk to the bees and thank them for reminding me.  It’s a very big responsibility to keep the balance once you come into your power.  But there are beings from the different kingdoms that will lovingly help to remind us that everything will be okay and that we are Loved no matter what.  I am very Grateful ❤

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Energy Sensations

Since I last wrote an update, I’ve been going through different stages of a more aggressive Heart opening.  Lots of movement on the front side of my chest and more recently, the back part of my Heart center has greatly expanded.  There were days where it felt like my entire back was HUGE, completely open and exposed.  It was really bizarre.  I’ve also had the sensation of heavy liquid energy shooting out of my shoulder blades.

I’ve noticed that I’ve felt more Loving and want to help people more.  It’s a very strong urge to assist in any way that I can.  There’s been a huge dismantling of the ego and it seems to come naturally to want to help without any expectations.  There’s also a noticeable increase in forgiving people .  It’s not even an effort anymore, it just comes naturally with majority of people (some people take more effort though –lol).  I don’t have to like them, but I will let go of the cords that I would have had in the past. It’s much easier to let go and to stay neutral.

I’ve had some pineal migraines off and on and also some pain in my right eye.  I’ve also noticed an increase in the feeling of a bubble slowly moving behind my eyes.  It’s a really weird sensation of something physically shifting/oozing behind my eyes.  There’s no pain, just movement.

I’m seeing more sparkles and little lights manifesting around me.  Last night, I saw a little white light fluttering around on my pillow when I was leaning on it.  I saw it more than once throughout the night.  Years ago, after my first Reiki Tummo attunement, I cried for days after, because of the massive initial cleansing process.  The first morning after the attunement and having cried the entire night, I woke up to seeing a little blue orb fluttering in front of me and landing on my pillow beside my face.  It had little sparkles coming off of it like pixie dust as it fluttered around.  This little white light I saw last night reminded me of that.

The most difficult sensation I’ve experienced so far, is shortness of breath.  I initially felt it about 6 months ago and went to the Emergency Room for testing.  They did an EKG for my heart, an MRI with dye contrast for my lungs and also an oxygen saturation test.  Everything came back normal/clear and the doctor couldn’t figure out why I was feeling shortness of breath when everything was normal  **Update – months after writing this, I had another trip to the ER and they found that the bottom of my lungs were starting to collapse, but they did not diagnose the cause.

So I’ve felt it many times since then, but recently, I felt it accompanied by some aggressive Kundalini energy moving in my chest and abdomen.  At that time, it had felt like there was a heavy warm pressure energy in my chest with some movement and also some reaching into my abdomen.  So now I know that this shortness of breath is an energy thing (since with my hypersensitivity, I feel energy movement so physically).

Sometimes it also feels like there’s a tightness in my throat like something is squeezing it.  I’m assuming that has to do with a more aggressive throat opening.  I do not doubt that I have many issues (from childhood) that will make for an uncomfortable complete throat opening.  I’m trying my best to work through it, but really, I’m totally clueless as to what I need to do since nothing has seemed to help much so far.

I’m staying neutral throughout this election crap and have not let it affect me one bit.  Overall, I feel pretty good with an occasional disturbance from “insensitive individuals”, but really this has been a pretty calm phase for me.  And should I get too out of sync, the bees are always there to keep me in line 🙂

And for some reason, listening to this song also helps to stay calm.  The whistling reminds me of celestial sounds I hear sometimes :

❤ Jason Barty – Simple Day ❤

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Love ❤

Taming The Demon

You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed – Antoine de Saint-Exupery – The Little Prince

“Taming the Demon”

If I would have read a title like this 6 years ago, I would probably feel a knot in my stomach while reading it. I had to ask myself why such things, words, or sometimes numbers, make me feel uncomfortable. What I discovered was that it was all due to programming from society, the people around me and their view of good and bad, light and dark…but what do I really feel from my own experience?

I was originally going to name this blog “Taming the Cyclops” but decided to change it…This posting is about a dream that I had that seemed to be the beginning of several dreams over the last few years that  all revealed the same message.

~***~

About 6 years ago I had a strange dream that helped to change my view of demons, monsters and nightmares. In the dream I was visiting my younger cousin Greg at his home. We ended up going to the shopping mall to have some lunch. I placed my personal belongings on a table in the food court, to show people that we were going to sit there and to save the table for us.

I went to order food and when I came back to the table, there were 3 men sitting in the space I had chosen. They appeared to be laborers or construction workers.  The men carelessly put their lunch right on top of my personal belongings, just totally disregarding that someone else might be sitting there.

I told one of the men that we were going to sit there and explained why all of my stuff was on the table. He ignored me and continued to eat. After a while of trying to get a response from him, I proceeded to gather my belongings from the table and in the process, had to move his food to get my stuff from under it. The man was FURIOUS…he quickly and forcefully stood up in front of me and began to yell and scream in my face.  As he was screaming, he began to morph into a huge Cyclops monster.

The man’s body expanded as he grew taller and more muscular.  He began to aggressively growl and foam at the mouth and his teeth were razor sharp and glaring like a wild animal.  I could feel the humidity of his hot breath on my face.

To my surprise, I was not afraid. I stood right up to him and stared into his single eye. I began to forcefully yell at him and told him that he was being absolutely ridiculous…that he was letting his anger turn him into a demon. “STOP IT NOW!” …”DON’T YOU REALIZE THAT YOU’RE ALLOWING YOUR EMOTIONS TO CONTROL YOU?!”…”YOUR EMOTIONS ARE TURNING YOU INTO A MONSTER” …”LOOK AT YOURSELF!!!”

As I was shouting these words, I could feel a release from my core, there was such power behind it. My words seemed to slowly calm him down and he just continued to breathe heavily while I stared into his eye. My staring into his eye seemed to have a hypnotizing effect on him. Even though he calmed down, he didn’t turn back into a man, he stayed as a Cyclops, but his anger slowly dissipated. I was somehow able to tame him.

This is where the dream is kind of hazy…I don’t remember parts of it.  The dream somehow shifted to the Cyclops giving us a ride home. I’m not sure how that came about, but I somehow influenced him to do it.

He had an old beat-up white pick-up truck and we sat in the back of the truck while he drove us home.

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Outside of the mall, it looked like a small Middle Eastern city and I could feel the dry heat of the desert air.  The air was thick and dusty and I could feel the warmth of the sun shining down on my skin.

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We drove past a small marketplace of old buildings, shades of turquoise and blue, paint peeling off of the tattered walls. I could hear Arabic type music playing in the background.

As the Cyclops continued to drive us home, he kept slamming on his brakes and sharply turning corners so that we would tumble around in the back of the truck…he thought it was HILARIOUS and I could hear his deep belly laugh as he watched us with his single eye in the rear view mirror. I just told my cousin to ignore him and that we’d be home soon….

The Cyclops kept laughing so hard, such a joyful laugh, that it was contagious…It triggered my own laughter and as I began to laugh, then my cousin started to laugh. My cousin and I tumbling around in the back of the truck laughing hysterically…then I woke up…

Later when I thought about the dream, I realized that it was showing me that these monsters are created by ourselves…they are the creation of our own anger and emotions. When I told the Cyclops to stop being so ridiculous, he seemed to snap out of his rage and calm down…his behavior was now in his awareness…

At the end of the dream when we were all laughing, it showed me that I had brought joy to this monster that at one point wanted to rip me to shreds. By taming him and not trying to destroy or kill him, I had somehow healed a part of myself by bringing awareness to it and not trying to fight against it.

Something inside of me has changed as a result of this light shone in the deeply hidden darkness…there is a sense of unconditional Love and understanding for even the darkest aspects…realizing that it’s not an outside force, but merely a part of myself that just needed acknowledgment, acceptance for what it is, and forgiveness…

In resolution and graduation from the astral realm, we will take parts of ourselves that are not perfect…It’s the acknowledgement and acceptance of these parts of self that will allow the healing and release to the higher realms.  In my personal experience, we do not leave them behind…

We merely transcend them with Loving/Freeing recognition.

LOVE ❤

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Ignition

Godself ~ Painting by Alex Grey

“Every person is an aspect of one Godself” – Alex Grey

July 29, 2016

I really haven’t felt like posting anything for quite a while.  I’ve been writing in my journal, but just not feeling like sharing, I guess…Something happened yesterday that really affected me and I feel like it was a pretty big shift, so I felt inspired to write about it.

Yesterday something happened that drew so much energy and emotion, that it felt like it combusted.  It started while I was driving home from the store and I got this realization that hit me like a ton of bricks…I realized that I am what we call “God”…I chose my life before I was even born…I am a facet of the Creator, and if I am the Creator, then why in the world am I agreeing to play this stupid game any longer? It actually kind of pissed me off – lol

I’ve always known this to be true, but this realization was different…it’s like something awakened inside of me and I actually felt it in every cell in my body.  I guess I can say that it’s like I embodied/integrated the realization and it started triggering anger…anger because I was blindly participating in something that I didn’t need to be a part of anymore.  Everything started to flash in my mind and I was suddenly seeing my entire life.

It got me to thinking that I have experienced quite a bit of suffering in this lifetime; physical abuse, family issues, homelessness, birth defects, health problems, chronic allergies, EMF hypersensitivity etc…and although I’ve evolved throughout the years, I’m still experiencing difficulty with most of those issues.

So why am I agreeing to this crap?!  Why am I agreeing to participate day-after-day-after-day to allow this illusion to continue to exist?

I started to question everything; what about karma? Isn’t that like a set of rules made up by another person?  Who decided that humans would have to participate in karma?  And what about genetics?  My family has a long list of health issues so I will most likely have them too?  Who decided that? (my doctor told me the other day that I will most likely have osteoporosis because it runs in my family – Huh?! )  What if I don’t agree to that?  What if I know and believe that I can and will change that?  The more questions flooded in, the more agitated I became…but I just allowed myself to delve deep into these feelings and bring them to the surface.

When I got home, I waited until everyone left and I was home alone…then I looked into the mirror, looked directly into my eyes and began to yell.

I started with “Hey YOU…I’m talking to YOU, not some outside source or a God sitting on a throne in some distant place, I’m talking to YOU…the one who created this life”.

I yelled to myself that since “I” was responsible for the circumstances in my life, since I chose all of this before I was even born, then “I” was putting my foot down and refusing to participate any longer.

I was angry.  WHO would choose this crap?!  Why would anyone or anything choose suffering or set it up so that a helpless child HAS TO suffer from the very start of their life with circumstances beyond their control?  “I” chose this?

I let it all out and demanded that things change in my life and environment or I will “opt-out’ because I’m SO worn out…I said I was tired and beat-up and physically/emotionally exhausted…and I refused to participate in this stupid game any longer.

I had done the work, handed over full trust to this process, activated dormant chakras, forgiven, cleared, released, cleared again and again, embodied, integrated, anchored, transformed, transmuted, transfigured, transcended…ALL of the T’s….but after all of that, I still had pain and suffering, and now I’d hit rock bottom.  I was consciously putting my foot down.  NO MORE PAIN AND SUFFERING.

After screaming at my reflection and letting it all out, I felt so much better.  The rush of emotion seemed to clear and I was able to calm down.  It felt like a huge release of pressure from my core…like a volcano erupting.  A while later, once I became calm again and was able to get centered, I tuned in to what I had just experienced.  I was able to understand what had happened.

I realized that my emotional outburst was a huge shift in my energetic field and a substantial release…another tier in the awakening stratum (I didn’t even know what the word stratum meant, but it popped into my mind) .  Revolutionary anger is always a sign of change in the making….lol   And that is a reflection in the outer world today…and now, a revolution within my own body as well…Ahhh…

This was a huge catalyst that was igniting a transformation from within.  The images that I received were of flames combusting and igniting other flames.

This is the beginning of many coming into their own true power (consciously).  Not the kind of power as in wars and control, but the exact opposite of that.  This is the uprising of Unconditional Love, protection and security…the security to fully awaken with full support and understanding.  The security to release all of the programming.

Sometimes it’s not that we need protection from the “bad guys”(illusions)….sometimes we need protection from ourselves(creators)…from our programming of self sabotage and actions due to habit…from our belief systems, from societal conditioning.  It just takes one person to guide another through that and to bring it to awareness…to ignite the flame.

~***~

Today there is a new sense of confidence, of being stronger and a “knowing” that all is in the process of transformation.  Change is inevitable…I choose to believe that things will change, that in that moment of looking in the mirror, they have already been changed.

So…”Hey YOU, the one that created this life…I choose CHANGE.”

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And so it is 🙂

                Macy Kate Band -“Imagine Dragons – Radioactive” cover (Click HERE for lyrics)

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**After writing this, I found some posts that were a confirmation to this recent experience…awesome sync! :

Posted July 30th-Ronna Herman – Open Letter to Ascending Starseed Souls

Posted July 31st-The Rainbow Scribe – Hilarion July 31st to August 6th

Posted Aug.3rd -Jenny Schiltz – Moving Beyond Limitations

Posted on Aug.4th-Jamye Price –August Ascension Energies 2016

** ❤ Jenny Schiltz – Channeling the Masters – Way Down We Go ❤ **

**And on Aug.16th from Lee Harris’ Facebook page he says:

“Never more than now are many of you looking to draw something good to yourselves. Many of you have bargained with your higher selves or the Universe saying you cannot go on unless you are given something to help keep you afloat.

If this is you, the something you need is you. For some of you, meeting yourself will be the hardest meeting you will ever have because for so long you have been defining yourself by everyone else. But now you have come back to yourself and you are feeling more. Pandora’s Box has been opened.

It is a little like opening the cupboard in the back of your house that you have not looked in for twenty years. You find some wonderful things you had forgotten. You find some unexpected things you are surprised you kept. Many of you have a violent physical reaction to the dust. [Audience laughter]        

~ From Remagnetizing The Heart

Yes Lee, I would definitely be one to have a violent physical reaction to the dust with these allergies of mine…lol   🙂

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Love ❤

Infinite Love

Deep at the center of my being, there is an infinite well of Love  ~ Louise Hay

 

One day while working at the spa in Sedona, I just didn’t feel like staying for my entire shift. I had a very strong urge to leave early, but I didn’t really know why. The director of the spa was the only management there that day, and he was going to leave early. I had to rush to his office to catch him before he left.   I asked to leave early, told him I had something to do, but really, I didn’t have any reason other than my urge to leave. He approved it and I went back to work for another couple of hours.

One of the massage therapists came in to talk to me for a while. This particular therapist hadn’t spoken to me much, so it was nice to get to know her a bit. I was surprised to find out that she is a fellow Kundalite, which is always refreshing to hear! We spoke of our Kundalini awakenings, other dimensions and other random spiritual experiences.

While we were talking, she mentioned that it was the last day of the Buddha Relic show in Sedona and that her and her mother had gone earlier in the day, before she came into work. This was the last show in the U.S., and it had been said that the relics would never be shown in the United States again…EVER. When she mentioned it, I realized that I had already asked to leave work early and that I would be able to see the relics in the very last hour of the show before they closed. I was leaving work at 4pm and they were closing the show at 5pm.

I told her that I had heard about it a couple of weeks before, but had completely forgotten about it and was SO thankful for her reminding me. She said that she kept hearing my name in her mind throughout the day, so she decided to come and talk to me as she was being guided to do so. We both agreed that it was meant to be

So I left work early and went straight to the show. As I was walking up to the building, there was a very friendly young man standing outside who was guiding people to the building and answering questions. He had a very sweet and happy energy. We had a little chat and I told him about my coincidence of taking off early from work. He was amused by the story and assured me that it was meant to be. I proceeded to enter the building and walked into a room filled with people praying, meditating and staring into nothingness.  As soon as I walked toward the relics, a wall of energy hit me. I started to buzz and vibrate, my field was saturated with warmth and I very quickly began to feel like I was hyperventilating.

The wait was a little long, because you had to stand in line to get your turn to walk around the relics. I was trying my best not to go into full panic attack mode before I had my turn. I could feel energy forcefully pouring out of both of my hands like I was giving a Reiki treatment to someone. My energy field felt huge and expanded. It was really bizarre. I almost left, because the energy was making me dizzy and I was having trouble standing in line for so long. I suddenly didn’t feel comfortable being too close to anyone around me…it became extremely overwhelming…sensory overload…

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When it was finally my turn, I was nervous because I had no idea how I would react when I got closer.  I proceeded with caution  .  Once I got up to the Buddha relics, I took a picture, stared for a while, kneeled & bowed my head and connected with the relics.   I immediately burst into tears.  I was over taken by complete surrender, Love and Compassion.  It was a deep cry that came from my core, not just tears.  I tried to hold it in, because there were so many people around me and I was embarrassed to be the only one crying.

I couldn’t stop crying, so when I got up from kneeling, I took a very quick walk around to see the other relics and quickly left the building.  Somehow I felt satisfied that whatever needed to be done, had already been done, so seeing the rest of the relics was not important.

On my way back to my car, I walked by the nice man outside while wiping away my tears and told him what had happened.  His face lit up and he was smiling from ear to ear.  He seemed to be very happy and told me that he asks everyone who walks out afterward, if they had felt anything while in the presence of the relics.  He said majority of the people say no, that they didn’t feel anything at all.  He assured me that the strong connection that I experienced was because my Heart was fully open…and he congratulated me !  lol  He said that the amount of Love that I felt in that moment was something that my soul will never forget and will carry infinitely…and of course, he made me cry even more when he said that, so it was time for me to leave

I didn’t expect to have such a profound experience while in the presence of the relics.  It was something that I will never forget.  When I look back on this experience, I always think of the nice man’s words when he said that my soul will always carry the Love that I felt from the Buddha relics…and I realize that in that moment, I have been forever changed.  I will never be the same…I have reunited with a part of myself that had been long forgotten.

 

 

Infinite Love ❤

 

 

❤ Prajna Paramita Heart Sutra Mantra ❤

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Energy Sensations – Update February 5, 2016

The last time I posted anything on this blog was back in August…I was living at my Dad’s house (in California) in a VERY difficult living situation, and going back and forth to my (ex)boyfriend’s house(in Arizona) in an attempt to run away from my problems. A lot has changed since then…It feels like someone has pushed the “fast-forward” button on my life and it’s all just a blur when I think about it.

So much has happened in such a short amount of “time”. It’s almost as if I was required to totally and completely uproot my life and discard all of the parts that were not healthy for me to experience any longer. And that’s exactly what has happened…I have eliminated all of the unhealthy aspects of my life, all of the things that were stagnant or an uncomfortable-comfort-zone…It all quickly unfolded (like a domino effect) before the beginning of 2016.

This has been an extremely bizarre period of “Revelation” for me…Some very hurtful things had to happen in order for me to be jolted out of my comfort zone. Sort of like a spiritual kick-in-the ass to get me going again…I saw some very dark and disturbing things about people who were close to me….people I trusted…all was exposed for everyone to see…no more lies, no more deceit.

It took me a while to reach a place of stillness where I could reflect on what happened on a much deeper level…the visuals that I received were of “release” of cords, looping, outdated patterns of “karma”, breaking free of that old cycle…

The karma no longer applies, but sometimes it takes the personality a while to catch up and integrate this realization. The (true) realization initiates a chemical reaction and release on a cellular level…a necessity for authentic transcendence. I had to get out of the mind, out of the illusion, and go within the Heart space to truly understand what this all meant… It takes a lot of focus to truly grasp that we are beyond karma…Old habits can be difficult to break…

So I’ll skip over the negative parts and just sum it up as moving out of my Dad’s house and completely cutting off my (ex) boyfriend after some shocking revelations. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and the revelations were a signal of things coming to an end (closure) on SO many levels. Instead of falling into victim mode, I decided to use it as an empowerment. When I severed all ties, I suddenly felt free again…a huge relief, not realizing how weighed down I was for so many years, until I experienced how light I was again. I somehow feel “whole” again after collecting the parts of self that I had invested in others.

~***~

So in the middle of all of this, I happened to get a job at a resort in Boynton Canyon, Sedona. It was the first job I put in for at a job fair, and I got it right away. They even decided that I’d be a better fit for a higher paying job than the one I was applying for, so it just seemed to fall into place.

I was working in a BEAUTIFUL canyon that was full of people who were spiritually awake and totally understood what I was going through. For the first time in my life, I felt so connected to everything.  Especially with nature.

While working in the Boynton Canyon vortex for 8 hours a day, I started to experience heightened psychic and telepathic abilities (it freaked out some of my co-workers – lol). I was getting huge Crown downloads every day and had to go outside to ground several times a day, because I was out of body most of the time. It was very difficult for me to stay grounded.

The first week I was there, I would receive so much energy, that it would collect in my solar plexus and would feel like a panic attack. It was like a multidimensional merge that would cause me to feel like too many things were happening all at the same time. It took me a while to figure it out, but I found that if I went outside, took my shoes off and held some black tourmaline, that I could actually feel the energy forcefully push out of my feet and then I’d get some relief…so that was my daily ritual.

There were days when I’d get full-on bliss episodes while at work, and I’d have to go outside and breathe it out, so I wouldn’t feel like I was hyperventilating. The bliss episodes were so strong, that co-workers could actually feel it if they stood next to me. These bliss downloads would cause a strong sensation of energy shooting out of my Heart center and also my face! That was something new…I had never felt my face light up and beam energy like that before.

I found that energy work is totally amplified in Boynton Canyon, SO much stronger. I was doing some Reiki on a co-worker in the break room, and another co-worker could physically feel the Reiki on the other side of the room. I realized that the energy was shooting out of my hands so hard and so fast, that my arms were shaking and vibrating really hard. The person I was doing the energy work on, said that they’ve never felt it so strong before and that it felt like a very strong wind was blasting completely through them to the other side.

There’s just something about Boynton Canyon that I haven’t felt at the other vortexes or any place I’ve ever been. There seems to be a gateway there, or maybe something multidimensional emerging. Maybe a city of light?

I can sense it, but cannot quite figure it out yet. Definitely a STRONG presence of ancestors that is very present at this time. The canyon is currently going through some type of purification which I had visions of while I was physically there. I could see and feel it when it was first initiated. I’ll write about those experiences in another post, but I’ll just get to the energy sensations update for now…

ENERGY SENSATIONS

There has been quite a stir in the lymphatic system in the last few months. Many of my co-workers all had the same symptoms. I’ve been going through a period of swollen and overloaded lymph nodes and have been doing a lymphatic cleanse which is very slowly making progress. This is some deep cleansing and I’m feeling like it has to do with dropping density. Doing a cleanse did not produce quick results, and I was shown that it’s because it’s an ongoing process that will take some time to balance out. There is so much going on at the same time and there are no quick fixes here. Patience and self Love is crucial in this phase.

I’ve had lots of activity on my face, head and scalp. Lots of buzzing, twitching and fluttering going on…at times, my face feels like it’s morphing into something else or becoming very liquid and wavy. That usually only happened while in a relaxed state, but lately it’s happening while fully awake and while I’m interacting in public.

My meridian system has been extremely active and I’ve felt the fizzy, effervescent sensation slowly pumping through the channels, but mostly in the legs. It’s spontaneous and happens here and there…no particular trigger for it, just random. Last night I felt it in my upper glute area near my hip bone, and the other day I also felt it in my arms which was something new.

In the past few days, my bones have been aching again. This aching is accompanied by a buzzy feeling coming from the outside of my legs. The pain feels like it’s emanating out of my bones and the buzzing randomly moves around my calves in quick electrical type pulses on my skin. My hip bones and lower back have the painful aching, but it is a tolerable pain…nothing too drastic. Sometimes it feels like my bones are being stretched.

There seems to be a lot of stuff going on with my spine and also the area where my spine connects to my neck/head. The message that I’m getting is that it has to do with merging polarities? I have no idea what that has to do with it, but that’s the answer I received. Maybe something to do with ida/pingala, silver/gold? Those are the images that I’m getting…overall, it has to do with “unification”…some sort of “short-cut” in the process, and a change in the template instructions, for those who are ready…maybe having to do with ability to jump timelines. As usual, it’s too difficult to put into words…

For the past week, I’ve been waking up in the morning and seeing gridlines again. This time, I’m seeing a cardinal cross in the middle of the gridlines.

It seems that the cross is emanating something from it, but I’m not sure what that means. I’ve seen this before, so it’s familiar to me, but I just don’t really understand it.

Overall, the energy sensations have become very active. It’s become the new “norm”. I’ve decided to speak about it more openly, so that people around me will become familiar with it. I don’t care if they think I’m crazy anymore…Someday this will become the new norm for many others, and I hope that when that happens, they will remember when I spoke of it before then…Maybe it will somehow help them to understand and to stay out of fear….

So that’s it…I’m fully out of the closet – lol … No more hiding, no more worrying about what other people may think. The secret’s out…I’m consciously, consciously evolving 😉

Love ❤

Energy Sensations – Update August 24, 2015

I chose the picture above because I’ve been seeing an energy that looks similar to the halo around her head. Kinda looks like circles within circles…  I used to see gridlines most mornings when I’d wake up, but lately, I’ve been waking up surrounded by an illuminated energy that looks very similar to this picture below (just the pattern without the colors):

 

 

It looks a lot like the picture except the circles are transparent with a golden sheen to them. When I used to see the gridlines, they were a transparent illuminated powder blue color.  Only once I saw illuminated red gridlines, but they were surrounding a very muscular blue being that was standing at the foot of my bed…I’ll write about that experience later…

A lot has happened since I last wrote…I’ve started writing posts here and there, but haven’t gotten around to finishing them…I’m attending school now, so it’s been difficult to come out of seclusion for so long and then to have many different people, with very different energy signatures, around me all day. I’m still trying to adjust.  I’ll finish my other posts soon (and back-date) but I just wanted to give a quick update…

 

August 24, 2015

Last night (Aug. 23rd) I was laying down in bed, using my computer, and I got hit with a HUGE amount of energy emanating out of my core and Heart area…it felt like the Diamond Solar Heart energy, only this time, I was fully awake and not in that in-between state.  This is the first time that I was able to fully feel it completely  manifest while wide awake.  But because I was wide awake, it felt SO much stronger than I had experienced before.

It was quite overwhelming, so I had to stop what I was doing and fully focus on it…tuning into it so I could understand what was happening.  I noticed that the energy felt like it was pouring out of my solar plexus and Heart area and filling up my energy field (flooding very quickly).  It was flooding so quickly that it caused a pressure type sensation in my core as it was passing through it.

It felt very warm, liquid and effervescent all at the same time.  This is completely different than any other type of energy I’ve experienced over the years (downloads, bliss episodes, Kundalini, Tummo etc…) The more my field was completely saturated with this energy, the more sensitive my nerves and cells felt throughout my body.  It was almost like they were tender and a little bit sore as the energy was saturating them.  The sensation is very difficult to explain…but there is definitely a noticeable heat to it that is somehow different from Tummo.

It was slightly blissful but it was so powerful that there was also a slight discomfort to it at the same time. I kept imagining that it had a golden sheen like the sun, and that the warmth that I was experiencing was because it was a type of solar energy…like I was embodying the sun’s energy?  After a while I started to feel like I was losing my breath.  I had to keep taking deep breaths and try not to become too overwhelmed by what was happening to me…staying out of fear.

I had a heightened sense of emotion like I wanted to cry, but in a strong Love kind of way. It was coming out of the core in waves that I could actually feel…like pulses that would emanate outward…the beginning of each pulse was extremely overwhelming and then would taper off.  I was bracing myself for the next pulse because it was so strong.

It lasted for about an hour and then tapered off.  Then this morning while I was in school (nursing classes), it hit me again!  I had to ask that it not happen while I was in class.  I lost my breath and felt dizzy for about 15 minutes and then it stopped.  But I noticed that I’ve felt strange for the rest of the day, and still do now as I’m typing this.  I feel “lit up” with vibrating molecules…that’s the only way I can describe it.  My solar plexus feels very raw and expanded. The lower part of the back of my head has also been vibrating with a pulse…

Well, this is it…this is the frequency we’ve been prepared to bring in.  It took A LOT of work by SO MANY to be able to reach this phase.  It’s hard to explain, but I can actually feel that it is a unified energy, the selfless work by so many…I wish I could explain it better, but as usual, I have trouble finding the words.  I’ve been on the verge of tears all day.

This frequency is pure Christed liquid light and somehow connected to the sun…this frequency is pure Love. And this frequency is here now in the physical, it’s been fully anchored.  In the most intense moments of the experience, it made me want to burst into tears because of the pureness of it.  I have never felt anything like it and cannot fully explain it.  I have a strong sense of completion, kind of like a goal that has been reached.  I know there is still much more to do, but I feel that this was the most important for myself, on my personal journey.

I’ve been shown that once this energy is embodied, the miasma and discordant energy will be cleared at maximum speed…super fast.  At first some may feel emotional, like crying because the body needs to get used to it.  It’s always strongest at first when something comes online, but intensity will taper off as the bodies adjust to it.  Surrender is crucial…full trust…just knowing that the intensity of it will pass, helps to surrender to it without any fear creeping in.

I wasn’t paying too much attention to the “Wave X” and September predictions, but when this started to happen to me, I got the message that this is all in preparation for September.  Yikesssssss!

Again, the message that I’m receiving, just as I did for 12/21/12, is that the gatekeepers and portals will most likely feel the intensity of it, but some will not.  There may be disappointment for those that do not physically feel anything…but I assure you, regardless of whether it’s physically felt or not, it is here and will continue to be anchored.  We are past the point of possibility of this being blocked or stopped.  It is done…

I can only imagine how intense this will be for those that are hyper-sensitive, and I’m bracing myself for what has yet to come…

 

 

Endless Gratitude to all who have participated in creating and making this possible…

 

You are Loved and appreciated beyond measure

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Energy Sensations – Update June 2, 2015

 

Just wanted to do a very quick update…

Starting on May 30th in the late afternoon, I started to get a pineal migraine.  It feels like the center of my brain is swollen and emanating heat and pain out of it. It progressively got worse the next day and is still continuing today.  When I get these types of migraines, they usually last 2 to 3 days, but today is the 4^th day.  I have to stay in bed with my eyes closed most of the day because it’s just too painful. I don’t have health insurance at the moment, so I can’t go to the doctor or emergency room.

This migraine is accompanied by many different sensations:

Subtle swaying on the top of my head

Heat (sun burn sensation) on my face and scalp

Pain behind my right eye

Extremely sensitive and sore neck/shoulder blades/lower back

Loud hissing noise in my right ear

Foggy dream-like feeling

Seeing frequent blue sparkles around me

Aching pain emanating from my bones

Nerves twitching all over

Humming wave-like vibration throughout my body

Sensitivity to light and sound

Nausea

It’s pretty bad!  I feel like my bones are being hollowed out. There’s also been some heavy anchoring of energy pouring full force out of my feet.  It doesn’t feel soft and pleasant like water; it feels like particles coming out.

I know this is not a medical issue, this is clearly energetic, but I could really use some pain relief, even if only temporary.  Usually when it gets this bad where I can’t take it anymore is when it will taper off.  So I’ll most likely be better tomorrow…

Oh, and I just realized that tonight is the full moon….Yikes!  I wish I could just put myself in a comatose state…lol

I decided to meditate on this and asked to be shown what is happening, why I’m feeling this way.  This is what I got:

We are releasing so much right now.  So much more than I can comprehend or relate to.  I see it as streams coming out of my body, streaming codes…causing a vibration on the way out.  Memories are passing through, with a tinge of nostalgia.  I see snapshot pictures of different beings, different people, different places.  They’re all being released and set free.

This is on a cellular level.  We’re even releasing from our bones.  Blood is changing, codes are changing (transforming).  I see codes in the blood. It reminds me of being sick when I was a kid…I was always sick with fevers, nose bleeds, migraines.  I remember feeling floaty and sad.  That’s how I feel right now…floaty and sad.

I keep hearing the word “gravity” for some reason.  When I think about it, I hear the song “Damn Gravity” by Okay Kaya.  Such a soothing song…it somehow helps with this process of letting go…

 

 

It’s been 4 days of releasing…I wonder how much longer this episode will last?

 

I could sure use a hug

 

**Update – On September 1st, Sandra Walter posted an article that said :

“Many of the classical phases may feel familiar – or quite direct for Masters – and you may recognize the memory of your past journeys welling up to the surface. (Litmus test: Tears of gratitude are a clear sign of revelation). Cellular memory activates codes within your blood and bones during this phase of Ascension. It is best to observe this and not cling to those memories as they come up. They are holographic imprints to assist the Higher Self in stepping forth, unifying all of the journeys here in order to transcend them. As always, this is on behalf of the collective project of Ascension.”

Pretty awesome sync!  The entire article can be found HERE

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Energy Sensations – Update May 5, 2015

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I just have not wanted to write lately…So much has happened in the last few months.

The first major thing that happened was that I moved out of my cousin’s house at the end of February shortly after our uncle died of a heart attack. (My cousin is on my mother’s side of the family, and that’s the side that I’m consciously aware of healing ancestral karma )The death in the family showed my family’s true colors and brought out a flood of emotions…Every time I’d start to write about it, I’d get stressed out, so I’m not going to write about it. I’ll just say that it’s a chapter of my life that has been firmly shut and I’ve said a vow and contract release as to never have to repeat it again.

So I’m living at my Dad’s now. I’m still trying to adjust and although a little difficult, it’s much healthier energetically, so I’m not complaining! That seems to be a theme lately…when I complain about something (I used to complain about how messy my Dad’s house was), the universe will show me that it could be MUCH worse and then I’ll appreciate whatever it was that I was complaining about – lol

I’ve gotta work on the Gratitude department…

In February I was experiencing what I believe to be timeline slips, or some type of interdimensional crossing of some sort. At first I would get this overwhelming déjà vu type feeling and for some reason, a warmth would flood my body… then a while later I would see other timelines happening right in front of me. It was so bizarre! It looked like a holographic overlay. I didn’t know what was happening but I was able to stay calm and let it pass.

This happened briefly on two or three separate days. I’m not sure if it was because timelines were changing or if it was just a compression (deletion). At this point in the process, I’ve learned to just go with it. There is no more fear and I have full trust that it’s for the highest of good.

For the past 6 months or so, I’ve been seeing different forms of darkness projected in front of me before it leaves (before it’s being transmuted and released). I’ve seen it as a black ball of scribbles, or a black spiked ball, sometimes as a black blob or strange blob with tentacles which actively moves (that one looked weird like a cartoon)…

         

              

Occasionally I’ve seen similar brown unidentifiable creatures (actively moving), but I have no idea what the difference in color means…

That seems to be something frequent for me…darkness will show itself to me before it departs. It’s a little strange but I feel that it’s part of whatever I’m supposed to do. It’s like it comes to me so that I can guide it out…totally compliant and no resistance…absolutely no fear present.

I don’t mind doing that type of work. There’s a sense of being in control and it doesn’t scare me at all. In the last few months, I’ve also had frequent dreams of performing exorcisms and seem to know exactly what I’m doing in the dreams. Sometimes speaking in another language and forcefully commanding whatever it is to leave. I don’t know if I’m remembering past lives, or if this is merely part of the timeline merge/compression/deletion.

There are many people incarnated now that are doing this work, but not all are consciously aware of it. The message I’m getting is that they’ve requested from a higher perspective to not see it because they don’t want to trigger any fear. I can totally understand that!

**After writing this, I stumbled across an article from Lisa Renee that speaks of clearing shadow body fragments.  In the article she says:

“This is a forced purging on planet, and we are the bodies that transmute the density, transit the debris and astral entities, many times through our own bodies. If you have not commanded your space and designated a place for astral releases and entity transits, knowing how to set up a portal in your space will be very helpful now. Sometimes astral entities will see a Indigo lightbody and come towards the light for help. Many times this is experienced as a psychic attack, but as one’s consciousness grows it is realized that this attack is really a call for help. Many people are getting fast tracked because our lightbody expansion is moving faster than our personality has been able to comprehend what is actually transpiring. This is common within the Indigo and Starseed population, so take a deep breath, and take in information at a firm yet fearless place.”

The entire article can be found HERE

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ENERGY SENSATIONS

In the beginning of May, I started to feel a rippling energy in my neck whenever I was in a relaxed state or just before falling asleep. This has REALLY changed as of last night. I first noticed in the evening that my right side felt tingly like it was going numb. I also had small electrical pulses or “snaps” (as I call them) on hands, arms and legs…this lasted for a few hours.

At night as I was falling asleep, I felt a very deep and profound trembling in my core. Then later I felt a rolling rippling energy in my entire head and on the right side of my body (right arm/shoulder, right side of abdomen, entire right leg). I’ve never felt such intensity while still awake (only usually in a lucid dream state). The force of it reminded me of the dream I had of water forcefully shooting up through my sushumna.

This recent experience was so massive that it just took over completely.  I managed to open my eyes briefly (only briefly because I felt like my whole head was liquefied and forcefully moving around) and saw what looked like heat waves rippling in the air.

It was a pretty awesome experience! I just went with it and let it happen. At times, it felt like ocean waves rolling inside my body. It was really strange…This was definitely the most powerful physical energetic sensation I’ve ever felt over the years. It seems to be getting more physically intense very quickly…

My solar plexus and sacral areas have also had a strange electromagnetic sensation within them for a few days. It’s hard to explain, but they feel very “raw” and sensitive like if they’re open wide and tense. I have no idea what this is. I’ve done clearing, worn my Moldivite and Herkimer necklace, my very protective Nuummite necklace, claimed my space, protection meditations etc…At first I thought it was some sort of drain or psychic attack because it’s so strong, but I don’t think that’s what it is…this is something else new… Hopefully it will pass soon because it’s a bit uncomfortable.

The energies have slowly worked their way up my body throughout the past years. It stayed at the top of my Heart area for many years, quickly went through the throat area (only a few months) and has been in my head for about a year now.

My Crown is super active during this phase…in fact, I’ve been feeling a fluttering right in the middle top of my head for 2 days…it feels like a moth is stuck in my hair and trying to get out. And recently felt something shooting out of the sides of my head. When I focus in on it, I get the image of the halo around the head that looks like this:

Those spots in the picture are exactly where I’m feeling the sensations.

This seems to be a new stage that I’m going through with lots of new sensations. I guess I was so used to the sensations I’ve felt in the past since the same things happened over and over for years…but now things are definitely changing very rapidly.

It’s exciting to experience something new. When all fear has been cleared and full trust is present, it’s an awesome experience to participate in. I guess this is where I can apply the Gratitude that I’ve been lacking to express in my life…

I’m so grateful to be a part of something so profound and so sacred.

Infinite Love and Gratitude from my Heart ❤ ❤ ❤

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Diamond Solar Heart ~

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On March 12th, something shifted when I woke up in the morning… I heard 3 loud chimes (kindof like bell ringing tones, but more like someone swept across 3 keys on a xylophone very quickly) and when I heard the sounds; I saw an image in my mind that looked like white sun rays with a light gray background. It kinda looked like this but with light gray instead of the black:

                                                   

I wasn’t sure what to make of it, so later I meditated on it and got the message that it was a marker for a new level/phase/initiation. I was a little confused at first, so I asked for a better explanation. I was shown that when I hear the chimes and shown the pictures in my mind, it’s because a new (group) level has been reached. The tones represent an addition to the harmonization of signature tone. The picture is a representation of a new level. This particular picture shown to me is of Diamond Rays? At first I wasn’t sure if I was interpreting that correctly, but that’s what I got. So I did a little research on the internet and it occurred to me that the rays looked similar to other pictures that I found:

 

And then I found this picture which made more sense:

Ahhh…. So that’s what it means. There’s a large group who has reached the level of Diamond Light Body/Rainbow Body. I was given the message that this will be triggered or beginning phases for this group on or around Spring Equinox/Solar Eclipse. So on March 19th, I woke up in the morning and felt a sensation of warmth coming from my core. It spread outward and felt like it was filling up my body. It would last for a while until I was distracted by outside noise and then the sensation would stop. I’ve felt it before, but never really paid attention to it enough to figure out what it was.

I decided to focus on it to see if I could make it happen at will, and found that I actually could…When I focused on it, I was shown (and also physically felt) that it was my Solar Plexus and Heart chakras blending or combining together and this was creating an energy that was emanating outward. It has something to do with merging timelines or realities? I’m not sure if I interpreted that correctly? Something more along the lines of zero point, meaning that it’s a merging of HU-man authentic power energy (Solar Plexus) with Divine Love (Heart)…creating some sort of bridge/portal to anchor. The message I got was that the merging of the two created a portal that will anchor the Higher energies… I’m not even going to pretend that I understand any of that stuff -lol   …I’m sure there’s much more to it than my limited interpretation.

It was clearly a very warm energy and I could feel such a blissful comfort from it. When the warmth would emanate outward, I felt like I was expanding and leaving my body…kind of like I was expanding to a different realm. It was an awesome feeling to be able to control it for the first time, since this type of stuff has only happened randomly without my knowing or conscious direction. I was shown that now that I was aware of it, I could create it anytime I wanted. I went online and searched “Solar Heart chakra” to see if I could find anything, but there really wasn’t anything except one post about the merging of the Heart and Solar Plexus.   The author had also experienced the same sensation and called it the “Solar Heart chakra”. The article can be found HERE

**Later after writing about this, I stumbled upon a post from Sandra Walter that she wrote in May 2013 while searching for something else. I was surprised that she had already written about it and she had even posted a video about it. She called it the “Solar Heart center”.  I guess I wasn’t ready for it until now…Her post can be found HERE

Picture from Sandra’s article :

In her explanation, she describes it as a diamond and this center being between the Heart and High Heart center. She doesn’t mention anything about the Solar Plexus though…. So now this is all coming together…it totally makes sense. I never really understood how I was supposed to create or manifest, and had tried several different techniques. Sometimes things would manifest, and sometimes they wouldn’t. What I did realize is that sometimes I unintentionally manifested stuff when I was in a state of high emotion. But the message that I’m getting from this Solar Heart experience is that this is the tool to consciously manifest and create without having to worry about the high emotion influencing the creation. It is of Christed Light, so lower energies are not even an option in this form of manifestation.

At the moment, the strongest way for me to connect to this merge, is in the half awake/half asleep state. When I wake up in the morning, if I don’t fully let myself wake up, seems to be the best time to play with this. I’ve been doing this for a few days now. I’ll keep playing with it and see if I can bring myself into this state while fully awake.

Love ❤

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Trip to Sedona – Solstice ~ December 21, 2014

I felt a nudge to go to the Amitabha Stupa  at Peace Park in Sedona today for Solstice. My (ex)boyfriend is out of town visiting family for the holidays, so I went by myself…It was a beautiful day, 58 degrees and mostly sunny, but slightly cloudy weather. At the park, they have two stupas and a Buddha statue…

The larger stupa is a 36 foot Amitabha Stupa which is said to actually contain a sacred relic from Buddha inside of it (among many other sacred relics and a billion mantras):

And they also have a smaller 6 foot White Tara stupa:

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I said some prayers, recited some mantras, and paid a visit to the Buddha statue on site: 

There weren’t too many people when I got there at 2pm…but when I was leaving, many people started to come…

After I was done, I headed to my favorite spot…Bell Rock vortex:

Then I meditated for a while on my favorite round rock… 

I saw a lot of kaleidoscope patterns today while meditating…

I enjoyed the beautiful view while looking out from Bell Rock…

I felt like I was saying good-bye and I became very emotional on this trip…

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On Tuesday, December 23, I will be heading back to California for good…no more coming back to stay with my (ex)boyfriend anymore. I feel that he needs to get on with his life and I’m interfering with that by being here. All I want for him is to be happy…even if that means he will be happier with someone else…

I’ve learned a lot about unconditional Love and patience being with him. He’s the longest relationship I’ve ever had (6 1/2 years). I used to always run from everything and everyone in my life when things got tough,until I met him…he’s the first person that I stuck it out with and I learned so much. 

So why am I leaving now?  Because he wants and deserves to have a family of his own and a normal life and I can’t give that to him.  My life will never be normal again, it’s just not possible… For the first time, I feel that this is really “Good-bye” to so many things all at once…the sadness runs very deep in letting go of all that is familiar and comfortable…

There was a lot of releasing done on this trip today. I feel that I’ve been preparing (energetically) for this trip all week. I’ve been getting super heavy liquid Crown and third eye downloads for the past few days. I’ve never felt them so intense and non-stop like these past few days. There’s a new feeling today, and I feel like I’ve said good-bye to so much more than I’ll probably ever know. Everything is going to change. This New Year will bring a lot of surprises.

While saying good-bye today, I was shown that there will be many new adventures to come…letting go of the old to make room for the new.  I have faith that everything is as it should be 🙂

Happy Winter Solstice! Many Blessings from my Heart to yours ❤

Love

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