I’ve really been focusing and working on clearing the energy from my childhood trauma with my mom. I’d already released most of the energy having to do with my step-dad, but still held a lot of resentment toward my mother for allowing his actions and not protecting me like a mother should. For many years I had continuous nightmares with both of them in it….I’m not kidding, I was having these nightmares at least a few times a week for over 10 years…I’d always wake up screaming or crying. I haven’t had anymore dreams like that for the past 2 years. I thought that I was through with it, but these recent solar flares and energy downloads stirred up some deep down emotions that I had hidden.
Before I fell asleep last night, something happened that I can’t explain, but I felt my Heart open and release the resentment toward my mother. I know I won’t get a resolution or apology from her in this lifetime, so it’s been made very clear to me that I just need to do this on my end. Recently talking to my Dad (my real Father) about it has helped a lot since he’s the only one who truly understands how deeply my mother can hurt people (she took me away from him when I was 3 yrs old and didn’t allow him to see me anymore for her own selfish reasons…coincidently, a similar experience happened to me with my youngest son when he was 3 yrs old, so I totally understand what my Father must have gone through..EXTREMELY DEVASTATING)… I’ve been meditating and asking for help in doing this for the past few days… I’ve also been wearing my Moldavite crystal everyday with the intention of it helping me to clear my Heart. Last night something allowed me to do it. I felt the shift.
When I fell asleep, I had a dream about my step-dad (my mom’s 2nd husband). In the dream, he was standing very still next to me and I was transferring energy from myself to his body. The energy was all of the hurt, hatred, prejudice, and disgusting things that he had done and said to me during my teenage years and early 20’s. The energy was in the form of orbs and it was coming out of my body and going into his. I was returning it to him.
When I briefly woke up from this dream, I was a little worried that I didn’t transmute that energy, and that I had just given it back to him. I don’t like to do that because it just leaves the energy around to hurt someone else…but something assured me that this was the way it was supposed to be and I had done exactly what I was supposed to do in this situation. Maybe it would be a part of his life lessons? I’m not sure, but I was assured not to feel guilty about it.
Taming the Jackal
Later I had another dream that I was in a guest house and my Uncle and my oldest (first born) son were there. One of my friends walked in. His name is Juan and he has always been extremely protective of me throughout our friendship. I don’t think I’ve ever had another friend so protective of me. Juan walked in and opened the back sliding glass door and I saw a beautiful gray puppy with blue eyes and an illuminated blue glow to it (the blue glow was like a 5D color). The gray color was like the color of this blue pit bull in the picture below:
I went toward the door to look at this beautiful puppy and an adult dog jumped in front of me…I realized that it wasn’t a normal dog, it looked like an Egyptian Jackal that was also the same beautiful gray color with the glowing blue energy coming out of it. The Jackal was snarling and growling at me and looked really scary like a monster with sharp teeth showing.
All of a sudden the Jackal jumped on me and tackled me to the ground…I was in a seated position on the ground and the Jackal had its front arms around me in a very strong hold. I couldn’t move because the grip around me was so strong. The Jackal put its head on my lap and I could feel the hot breath on me as it was snarling and growling.
My friend who had opened the sliding glass door casually explained to me that the Jackal was tuning into my energy and if my energy was acceptable, it would walk away and let me be…but if my energy was not, it would attack me. I was pretty upset because I couldn’t understand why Juan would let this monster into the house (especially when my son was there, and especially when Juan had always been so protective of me) and allow it to possibly hurt us.
I realized I was being judged by this Jackal and quickly understood the importance of centering my energy at that moment. I cleared my mind and began to give the Jackal energy from my Heart center…I could feel the current of energy coming out of me and pouring into its body. Slowly the Jackal’s grip around my body loosened and its entire body went limp. The Jackal got so comfortable from my energy that it was lulled to sleep. I thought it was still growling at me, but it was actually snoring!
I was able to move the Jackal off of me and stand up without waking it up because it was in such a deep sleep. Everyone in the room was amazed…Juan asked me how I was able to put it to sleep because it had never gone to sleep before, and was always on patrol…I just looked at him and smiled without saying a word…then I woke up…
I’ve been thinking about what the message might be from this dream. I’ve come to several conclusions, but the main message that I’m getting is that I’ve reached a certain point in my clearing. With working through this childhood trauma, I’ve taken a huge weight off of my Heart.
In Egyptian Mythology, Anubis is the Egyptian Jackal God that oversees the underworld. He was known as a caretaker and protector of the dead. Anubis would lead the dead in the Underworld at the Hall of Two Truths to a set of scales where his or her Heart was weighed against the feather of Truth. This is where their fate would be decided – if their Heart was light enough, they would gain entrance into the perfect afterlife. If their Heart was too heavy, they would be sent to the Devourer of the Dead. The meaning that I’ll take from this dream is that my Heart is now light enough and Anubis has let me pass 🙂