I went through a period of feeling A LOT of activity in my energy field and lots of work being done on me, to not feeling anything at all. Seems to be a waiting period right now. Maybe for the last few weeks I’ve been having “normal” dreams (not lucid) and not feeling much activity in my energy field. I’ve gone through this before, and it seems that I feel more “alone” when I’m not being worked on. It brings a sort of sadness with it, like my Angels have left me. Of course, I know that’s not true, but it’s a sadness that I’m experiencing right now. The sadness of missing someone, missing their presence.
The only changes I’ve felt lately is the “Torus” feeling. I feel like my energy field around me is like a Torus and it activates and turns in on me at my center.
It used to be overwhelming when I first experienced this about a year ago, but the past few times I’ve felt it, it has seemed to flow much easier. The very first time it happened, it felt like a huge wave of busy, disoriented energy swept through me, all jumbled, like an anxiety attack…at first I asked my Higher Self if it was a psychic attack and I got the answer “No”. After meditating on it for a few minutes, I got the word “Torus” and immediately had an understanding of what was happening. Since it was new, I had no idea what to do, so I took a salt bath to help cleanse the chaotic energy in my field and to try to relax. Since that day, it gets a little easier to deal with each time it hits me. It comes and goes with no particular pattern, just maybe once every couple of months. In the last 5 weeks, I’ve felt it twice.
This last time I felt it was on October 23rd. I wrote about it in my daily journal :
October 23, 2012
I woke up REALLY tired today. There was a huge X class solar flare that was released yesterday at 8:17pm MT, so I assume it was because of that, but this time, I don’t hear the fluctuating pitch in my right ear. Usually I hear that ringing in my ear going up and down and it’s pretty loud every time there‘s a solar flare…today I don’t hear it at all…It’s a consistent high pitched hiss, almost to where you can’t hear it at all because it’s so high pitched.
Around 1:30pm, I got super tired and dizzy so I went to lay down in my bed. Started to feel the Torus feeling after a few minutes. Turning in on myself…flowing movement… taking lots of deep breaths…This time it was different because it was accompanied by an uncontrollable urge to peel something off of me. The only way I can describe it, is like the urge to push when you’re giving birth to a baby. This urge to shed something off of me was uncontrollable and completely overwhelming like the urge to push. I imagined the Torus turning into the middle of me, and every time it would cycle, I would cut off a layer…except, another layer would immediately replace it and the overwhelming constricted feeling would remain. I kept cutting and cutting over and over, but the sensation of having to shed would not go away. The cutting was not helping to shed this awful restricted compacted feeling.
I remembered the solar flare and asked the Sun for assistance…I imagined the Golden energy from the Sun penetrating my energy bubble and dissolving this constricting “protective shield” around me, and after about a minute, I started to feel relief. So I’m thinking that I had a protective layer I had set up for myself that was ready to be shed. I felt SO firm in my decision, like I was DEMANDING for it to be removed…I felt very strong emotion – GET IT OFF NOW!!!! It is time for this restricting bubble to be removed, or maybe cocoon? I WANTED IT GONE…I am tired of it, I’m tired of fighting with it’s restriction, with the help of the Sun, I dissolved it away. Now I feel like I can breathe again. My energy is expanding, I can feel it.
So what was it? I don’t know, but hopefully I’ll read about it somewhere. It was a big step whatever it was, but it was also very easy to get rid of with the stern will for it to be GONE. I feel much better and much more free. It was time for this to be released, removed. No more restrictions, no more training wheels…I am free to BE 🙂
So since then, I actually did read about it in a blog from Sarah Gazala “Creating on all dimensions” posted on October 25th. It seems we both experienced this around the same time…
“…So what exactly happened. Lets see, the other day I went in to meditation and removed a barrier I keep up so not to be too overwhelmed from all the energy I feel. As soon as I did that I was struck by a flood of energy to the heart chakra. My heart was taking in all this energy, love energy, and was expanding quickly. I had to take many long and deep breaths to keep the flow going. This was then followed by energy flowing into my crown and root and meeting at the heart. The state I was in was beyond unconditional love at this point. I could feel all three hearts beating quickly too and my core was very warm. I was constantly having to relax or fall deeper into meditation to take more energy in…”
“…All of a sudden in my puddle of tears and pain I decided to remove the barrier again. This time for good. I hope. And when I did I was surrounded by love. An abundance of love. And I looked to see. And all around me were Angels. So many. flying all around me. And I saw my human and something coming from out of my human. It was me and I was a butterfly coming out of my cocoon. Dancing with the Angels. Angels kissing me. Angels in love with me. And all of us dancing in the love till I flew away, to the universe, to the stars. Released from my cage once and for all never to go down that path again. I was free. For all I ever needed was always within. And I shall always express myself as bright as the stars above for all to feel and see. (I hear East Star) Fear no longer resides here…”
Since this barrier was removed, my physical body feels much better. All random aches and pains seem to have gone away and I can breathe better. Other than that, I’m still a bit tired…fatigue is still there. I keep telling myself, “ just a couple more months and you’ll feel a whole lot better!”… I will continue to hold on to that belief, two more months Elle, just TWO MORE MONTHS 🙂
**After writing about this experience, I found a post from Children of the Sun (over a year later). The post speaks about a restrictive barrier around our energy called the “Morphogenetic Stress Web” and they offer assistance in removing the restrictive web…I wonder if that’s the barrier I removed? The post can be found here : http://childrenofthesun.org/morphogenetic-stress-web-removal/