Monthly Archives: October 2012

Becoming Invisible


Along this journey, I’ve had a few experiences where I seem to be invisible to people in public…the first time, it happened about a couple of years ago.  There was a woman that was looking at stuff in the same isle of the store as I was, we were both there for a while and then she just completely crashed right into me… Really lady?  She had been there the whole time and could clearly see me and then she crashes into me?  But maybe she really didn’t see me?…

The next time I walked into a UPS postal store to send a fax, and the people totally and completely ignored me.  I stood there for about 10 minutes, moving around on purpose to catch their attention and I thought they even looked right at me… but they just kept about their business and even started cleaning the store while ignoring me.  I was standing at the counter in clear view.  I got tired of waiting and just left, walked out of there convinced that they really could not see me.  I do remember that during that time, I was feeling a Higher vibration and that seems to be when I become invisible to certain people in public.

It happened again today.  A man totally cut in front of me in line at the supermarket.  When I confronted him (nicely 🙂 ), he seemed surprised to see me…startled.  The little voice in my head had to remind me “Elle, he probably couldn’t see you honey”….  Oh, yeah… I have been in a state of Bliss for the past couple of days and at a much Higher vibration…maybe he really didn’t see me.  It can be unnerving and can stir my energy up a bit when I let my ego get into it…but I have to keep reminding myself that just as we cannot always see things in the Higher dimensions all the time, some people will not be able to see us when we are vibrating at a Higher frequency.

Thank goodness my car will stay at the same vibration while I’m driving ! LOL

Anchoring Peace


I woke up more tired yesterday morning than I think I’ve ever felt after a full 8 hours of sleep.  Couldn’t even keep my eyes open which doesn’t make sense since I slept well.  The night before that,  I felt a huge surge of Bliss flowing through my entire body while I was watching TV…every cell in my body was activated with vibration, lit up, and full of Bliss…usually doesn’t happen until I’m trying to fall asleep or in a meditative state, but last night it started while I was fully awake.  I turned the TV off and did some Heart based meditations that I use frequently.  Lots of work was being done on the Root  & Heart chakras, and I could feel ALL of my chakras vibrating and extremely active…even my minor chakras.

So when I woke up yesterday morning feeling totally and completely drained, I ended up laying down for the entire day…falling in and out of sleep.  I really didn’t  even have the strength to keep my eyes open most of the day.  Maybe my body was tired from whatever was done to me the night before…not sure…I also noticed that the top left side of the back of my head was vibrating all day,  like a chakra is there.  Bindu chakra maybe?  Not sure…The current of energy was pretty strong though.

Oh yeah, last night was the full moon…maybe that had something to do with being so tired.  Absolutely no emotions stirring  though…just felt SO extremely Peaceful and in complete comfort.  The moon was REALLY bright…I went outside for a while to look at it and it lit up the entire neighborhood with a bright glow.  It was so peaceful here in Phoenix, it’s hard for me to imagine what’s going on over in the East coast with Hurricane Sandy…

I’ve always had a great affinity for New York since I was a child.  Nobody knew where it came from because I had never been there, but was just totally and completely taken by ANYTHING New York.  I wanted to move there, I wanted to make a new life there, I wanted to ride the subway, I even wanted the NY accent !…A couple of years ago, I was given the message by my Higher Self that I had to say good-bye to New York.  I’m thinking that it was more of letting go of the dream to live there, since it was an attachment.  The chance to move there never happened, and the time had passed, but my Heart still ached to be there.  I told my Higher Self that if I was being prepared for something awful to happen to NY, that I WOULD NOT ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN.  Loud and clear I let the Universe know that nothing would be allowed to happen to NY.   So when this storm started to move toward NY, and the media started to hype it up, I knew that this may be a much smaller version of what might have happened or what had been previously planned.

Not for one second did I believe that Hurricane Sandy would do anything that the media was trying to make us believe.  Nope, would not allow it to happen…I am truly sorry for the damage that they did experience though.  It’s quite devastating to lose your home with all of your memories, or even lose a loved one.   I have complete faith that all is as it should be.  Sending Love and comfort to all on the East coast.

So for the past couple of days, I’ve been at complete Peace, full of Bliss, and completely centered.  Is this what we’re supposed to do now?  BE the calm, BE the center, and anchor the Peace?  This is all new to me because I’ve always felt crappy and emotional around full moons and disasters.  It’s still difficult for me to grasp this Peace within, but I’m trying not to think about it too much.  Just letting it flow…

Flame of the Disciple



In late 2008, about a year after my big spiritual awakening, I had moved to Phoenix, Arizona.  I got a big promotion at work, and was able to rent a beautiful guest house on a 5 acre property in Camelback Mountain.  It was SO beautiful and peaceful.  There were quail families, owls, hawks, and at night, I could hear the coyotes singing right on my porch!  There was an amazing energy that engulfed this property and you could feel it and breathe it in.

During my year long stay at this house, I had many things happen that I label as “Kundalini phenomena”.  One night I fell asleep on the couch, and woke up in the middle of the night seeing a 5 foot bright illuminated neon blue Sri Yantra mandala in my living room…

Blue Sri Yantra

It was swaying from left to right and making a humming noise.

Another night, I also fell asleep on the couch and woke up in the middle of the night to what sounded like 1,000 birds chirping, dogs barking, and cats meowing  all at once.  It was so loud, it sounded like it was on surround sound throughout the entire house for several minutes.  I noticed that I felt my Crown chakra swaying while I heard it, and then as the swaying slowed down, the sounds left as if they rolled right through and disappeared completely.

Another time I woke up from a nap during the day, and saw orange triangles flipping upward into the air and forming a pattern of a snake’s head.


The orange triangles formed the snake’s head like a puzzle and then two emerald green eyes appeared.  It reminded me of the story of the Buddha when the large snake covered his head to shield him from the rain.

So one day on the weekend, I was cleaning the kitchen and I heard a soft little voice in my head say “You’re a disciple of Jesus”….Huh?  I was puzzled by this and after thinking about it for a while, I kind of laughed and just went on with my day.  A couple of years later a woman in a salt lamp store  & I got to talking about Spiritual stuff and out of the blue she recommended going to see a woman named Mary Martin to get an Akashic Record reading.  Coincidentally, two of her friends that also knew Mary very well, just happened to walk into the store just minutes later, and they also recommended seeing Mary.  I made an appointment a few weeks later and had my very first reading done.

Mary said I’ve lived 7,641 lives and accessed three records that were chosen to be of significance to this lifetime.  The first one that was pulled was of when I was a teenage boy that became a disciple of Jesus.  That was a confirmation of the little voice that whispered to me that day while cleaning my house. I had never told anyone about my disciple experience, including Mary, so she didn’t know about it.   It was funny because Mary records all of her readings and then gives you a CD to take home.  In one of the record readings, she told me I was a Monk in Ireland and when she was listening for my name in that lifetime, you can clearly hear a little voice in the background whisper “Patrick” right before she said the name Patrick to me.  There was nobody else home at the time, it was just us, so that was really cool to hear that.

So, I ‘ve noticed that I get a flame above my head in pictures every time I go to Sedona.  I really didn’t read too much into it until one day I saw a picture of disciples with flames above their head.  Hmmmm … more confirmation ? 🙂






Removing the Barrier


I went through a period of feeling A LOT of activity in my energy field and lots of work being done on me, to not feeling anything at all.  Seems to be a waiting period right now.  Maybe for the last few weeks I’ve been having “normal” dreams (not lucid) and not feeling much activity in my energy field.  I’ve gone through this before, and it seems that I feel more “alone” when I’m not being worked on.  It brings a sort of sadness with it, like my Angels have left me.  Of course, I know that’s not true, but it’s a sadness that I’m experiencing right now. The sadness of missing someone, missing their presence.

The only changes I’ve felt lately is the “Torus” feeling. I feel like my energy field around me is like a Torus and it activates and turns in on me at my center.

It used to be overwhelming when I first experienced this about a year ago, but the past few times I’ve felt it, it has seemed to flow much easier.   The very first time it happened, it felt like a huge wave of busy, disoriented energy swept through me, all jumbled, like an anxiety attack…at first I asked my Higher Self if it was a psychic attack and I got the answer “No”.  After meditating on it for a few minutes, I got the word “Torus” and immediately had an understanding of what was happening.  Since it was new, I had no idea what to do, so I took a salt bath to help cleanse the chaotic energy in my field and to try to relax.  Since that day, it gets a little easier to deal with each time it hits me.  It comes and goes with no particular pattern, just maybe once every couple of months.  In the last 5 weeks, I’ve felt it twice.

This last time I felt it was on October 23rd.  I wrote about it in my daily journal :

October 23, 2012

I woke up REALLY tired today.  There was a huge X class solar flare that was released yesterday at 8:17pm MT, so I assume it was because of that, but this time, I don’t hear the fluctuating pitch in my right ear.  Usually I hear that ringing in my ear going up and down and it’s pretty loud every time there‘s a solar flare…today I don’t hear it at all…It’s a consistent high pitched hiss, almost to where you can’t hear it at all because it’s so high pitched. 

Around 1:30pm, I got super tired and dizzy so I went to lay down in my bed.  Started to feel the Torus feeling after a few minutes. Turning in on myself…flowing movement… taking lots of deep breaths…This time it was different because it was accompanied by an uncontrollable urge to peel something off of me.  The only way I can describe it, is like the urge to push when you’re giving birth to a baby.  This urge to shed something off of me was uncontrollable and completely overwhelming like the urge to push.  I imagined the Torus turning into the middle of me, and every time it would cycle, I would cut off a layer…except, another layer would immediately replace it and the overwhelming constricted feeling would remain.  I kept cutting and cutting over and over, but the sensation of having to shed would not go away.  The cutting was not helping to shed this awful restricted compacted feeling. 

I remembered the solar flare and asked the Sun for assistance…I  imagined the Golden energy from the Sun penetrating my energy bubble and dissolving this constricting “protective shield” around me, and after about a minute, I started to feel relief.  So I’m thinking that I had a protective layer I had set up for myself that was ready to be shed.  I felt SO firm in my decision, like I was DEMANDING for it to be removed…I felt very strong emotion – GET IT OFF NOW!!!!  It is time for this restricting bubble to be removed, or maybe cocoon?  I WANTED IT GONE…I am tired of it, I’m tired of fighting with it’s restriction, with the help of the Sun, I dissolved it away.   Now I feel like I can breathe again.  My energy is expanding, I can feel it.  

So what was it?  I don’t know, but hopefully I’ll read about it somewhere.  It was a big step whatever it was, but it was also very easy to get rid of with the stern will for it to be GONE.  I feel much better and much more free.  It was time for this to be released, removed.  No more restrictions, no more training wheels…I am free to BE  🙂

So since then, I actually did read about it in a blog from Sarah Gazala “Creating on all dimensions” posted on October 25th.  It seems we both experienced this around the same time…

She writes:

“…So what exactly happened. Lets see, the other day I went in to meditation and removed a barrier I keep up so not to be too overwhelmed from all the energy I feel. As soon as I did that I was struck by a flood of energy to the heart chakra. My heart was taking in all this energy, love energy, and was expanding quickly. I had to take many long and deep breaths to keep the flow going. This was then followed by energy flowing into my crown and root and meeting at the heart. The state I was in was beyond unconditional love at this point. I could feel all three hearts beating quickly too and my core was very warm. I was constantly having to relax or fall deeper into meditation to take more energy in…” 

“…All of a sudden in my puddle of tears and pain I decided to remove the barrier again. This time for good. I hope. And when I did I was surrounded by love. An abundance of love. And I looked to see. And all around me were Angels. So many. flying all around me. And I saw my human and something coming from out of my human. It was me and I was a butterfly coming out of my cocoon. Dancing with the Angels. Angels kissing me. Angels in love with me. And all of us dancing in the love till I flew away, to the universe, to the stars. Released from my cage once and for all never to go down that path again. I was free. For all I ever needed was always within. And I shall always express myself as bright as the stars above for all to feel and see. (I hear East Star) Fear no longer resides here…”

Since this barrier was removed, my physical body feels much better.  All random aches and pains seem to have gone away and I can breathe better.  Other than that, I’m still a bit tired…fatigue is still there.  I keep telling myself, “ just a couple more months and you’ll feel a whole lot better!”… I will continue to hold on to that belief, two more months Elle, just TWO MORE MONTHS  🙂


**After writing about this experience, I found a post from Children of the Sun (over a year later).  The post speaks about a restrictive barrier around our energy called the “Morphogenetic Stress Web” and they offer assistance in removing the restrictive web…I wonder if that’s the barrier I removed?  The post can be found here :