Monthly Archives: March 2013

Teachers In Disguise



Last night I did three separate meditations ; An Open Heart meditation, a Grounding meditation, and then a Tummo meditation that works with the Kundalini energy and the shushumna.  Something is nudging me to focus more on clearing my Heart and grounding lately.  When I went to sleep I had a dream about my boyfriend.  Usually the dreams that I have of him are very stressful…he seems to go out of his way to upset me and the dreams are very emotional.   I’ve even had dreams that he’s plotted to kill me…LOL

Last night I had a dream that he invited all of his friends from El Paso, Texas, to stay at our house for 2 weeks without telling me first.  There were about 10 of them…I had a house full of people and I didn’t know why.  I was looking for him in the house and his friends were being loud and obnoxious, laughing at me and making comments that were kinda pissing me off…they all knew I was upset and they were making fun of me…this went on for a while as I became more and more upset.

Finally, at the end of the dream, he came into my bedroom and was facing the wall away from me…I told him that I wanted to know why he didn’t let me know that so many people were going to be staying for 2 weeks.  He wouldn’t turn to face me, or speak, and I became even angrier.

Enlightened Buddha

Then all of a sudden he turned around and started to talk to me…I realized that he looked like an enlightened Buddha with piercing blue eyes.  My boyfriend is Hispanic, but in the dream he looked exactly like a Buddha.  I knew it was him though, even though it didn’t look like him, it was still him.  Then I woke up…

The message that I got from the dream is that he actually IS one of my teachers.  When I thought about the dream and really analyzed it, I burst into tears.  This huge uncontrollable emotion came over me and I started to cry.  I noticed that I get these emotional outbursts when I receive a profound realization.  It’s not a normal type of crying, it’s coming from deep within my core like a huge pressure sensation and then I need to cry to let the pressure out.

Every time he’s pushed my buttons and done things that I just can’t believe he would do, have all been to test me and to teach me a lesson about Patience and Unconditional Love.  It’s all part of my lessons in mastering emotions.  I’m sure he’s not aware of it on this level, but maybe he really is my teacher from another level…I also realized that I had been viewing him as someone who’s asleep and not Spiritually awakened…but what if he’s actually a master?  Who am I to determine what his Spiritual status is?  My own arrogance was blocking me from seeing the Divine in him…All of that added to the emotions that I was experiencing and gave me a new perspective.

So I told my boyfriend about the dream and jokingly told him that he was my Buddha master….His reply was?….He’s a “booty” master…. (sigh) and (eye roll)….Only HE could downplay such a profound moment in my journey! LOL

~ *** ~

The Rude Buddhist Monk


I had another dream a few years ago that I was walking through a Buddhist monastery…there was a large group of monks sitting on the floor meditating and a monk standing in front of them.  The monk walked over to me and said with an arrogant tone “What are YOU doing here”?…”Shouldn’t you be at a Starbuck’s getting your coffee, or out shopping or something”? …I began to feel anger rising inside of me and couldn’t believe that this monk was being so rude to me for no reason.

All of a sudden, the anger completely went away and I calmly said to the monk “You can make fun of me if it makes you feel better about yourself, but I’m not going to let you affect me”…There was a brief silence, and after a few moments, the group of meditating monks all stood up and started clapping… the rude monk smiled, put his hands together and bowed toward me…then I woke up…

If I treat every person in this lifetime that tests me or pushes my buttons, like they’re an undercover master teacher, then I can react differently to whatever it is they’re doing.  From this moment onward, I’m going to view everyone as a teacher that’s teaching me how to control my emotions.  I feel excited about this, like I’ve received the answers right before a big exam…  I got this 😉


**After writing this blog, I found a post from April 5, 2013 that was in sync with the feeling I had of being tested…the post can be found here:



Energy Sensations – Update March 5, 2013



In the waiting line…

I’m not sure what’s going on with my body, but I’ve been getting huge downloads of energy  for the past few days and yesterday my Heart was wide open…I was teary eyed for most of the day.  At first I couldn’t quite understand why I was teary eyed…was I sad?  No, not really, it was just a new feeling or state of being that wasn’t really familiar to me.

I meditated on it for a while and came to the realization that it wasn’t sadness that I was feeling, it was unconditional Love…you know, like when you look at a baby, or a child, with so much Love for them, that you get teary eyed…well, that’s what I was feeling and experiencing.  It was the most overwhelming feeling of Unconditional Love and Compassion that I have ever experienced in this lifetime.  There was nothing that triggered it, it just hit me out of nowhere.   It lasted for hours.

Usually when I get hit with these huge emotional downloads or Bliss episodes, they’ll come full blown for a few hours or sometimes a full day, and then they’ll balance out, slowly tapering off.  I searched around on Spiritual websites but couldn’t find anything about any big energy alignments this week or anything to explain what I was experiencing, but I did read that there’s a comet that’ll be flying by today…don’t think that has anything to do with it though…  Maybe I’ll find something later…

I’ve also had a huge pulse of energy going through my body from top to bottom.  I’m assuming that it’s coming in at the Crown and coming out at the bottom of my feet.  The pulse is the strongest on my left foot and the current is the strongest I’ve ever felt.  Energy is forcefully pouring out of my left foot and it’s so strong, that I’m constantly aware of it.  Also a current coming out of my right ear!  I’ve never felt that before…do we have a chakra in our ear?  It’s the strangest feeling because it’s like an electrical pulse that has a flickering sensation coming out of the opening of my ear.

I’m also getting a lot of information coming in and realizations that are clarifying a lot of things for me.  Early this morning around 4:30am, I felt a very strong sensation of something reaching into my upper back and when I closed my eyes I saw a bunch of small symbols, like inscriptions or hieroglyphs.  The reaching in my back was so strong that it startled me awake.  Lots of internal work continued  after that and I could feel a pulse enveloping my body when I finally woke up for the day.

Later in the night, about 8pm, I got REALLY tired, felt like a drugged feeling…it was impossible to keep my eyes open, so I was in and out of consciousness on the couch. I felt work being done on me and energies swirling on my face.  I kept hearing noises like there was someone walking around (I’m home alone)…when I could get enough strength to fight the sleepy feeling and open my eyes, there was nobody there.  I had a dream, but the only thing that I remember is that there were many people getting on an escalator going up into the sky, and each person had a little box that they were taking with them.  The little box was all they were allowed to take.   The escalator was full and I was next in line to get on it, but it wasn’t moving yet, so I had to stand and wait in line at the very bottom for my turn…Then I woke up.  Every time I think of this scene in the dream, I hear the song “In The Waiting Line” by Zero 7…I Love that song…


Also as I was waking up, I saw colors, like pastel iridescent swirly colors that were moving around me…the way the colors looked, reminded me of a picture I took in Sedona ( taken on May 20, 2012 ~ solar eclipse) :


So I’m not sure what’s going on, but there seem to be some big changes happening at the moment.  The last 2 weeks I experienced pain only on the left side of my body and pain in my teeth only on the left side.  It’s like the nerves were twitching in my teeth again, it was really weird.   I went to the dentist and they couldn’t find anything wrong and X-rays were clear.  The pain went away after about a week.  I’m feeling like there’s been a lot of progress in polarities integrating…lots of mental work was done in the last 2 weeks and it was a smooth process.  Progress is moving along very quickly with minimal blockage. Positive affirmations are the next step…reprogramming is essential…

A message that I got was to pay attention and look for signs out in nature…you’ll get little confirmations that you may be looking for and reassurance will be shown with beautiful scenery and interaction with animals or insects.   We’re open now, so letting go of old beliefs that hold us back from acquiring our gifts is so important now.  IT IS POSSIBLE…believe that, and it will be so 😉

Love ❤