Last night I did three separate meditations ; An Open Heart meditation, a Grounding meditation, and then a Tummo meditation that works with the Kundalini energy and the shushumna. Something is nudging me to focus more on clearing my Heart and grounding lately. When I went to sleep I had a dream about my boyfriend. Usually the dreams that I have of him are very stressful…he seems to go out of his way to upset me and the dreams are very emotional. I’ve even had dreams that he’s plotted to kill me…LOL
Last night I had a dream that he invited all of his friends from El Paso, Texas, to stay at our house for 2 weeks without telling me first. There were about 10 of them…I had a house full of people and I didn’t know why. I was looking for him in the house and his friends were being loud and obnoxious, laughing at me and making comments that were kinda pissing me off…they all knew I was upset and they were making fun of me…this went on for a while as I became more and more upset.
Finally, at the end of the dream, he came into my bedroom and was facing the wall away from me…I told him that I wanted to know why he didn’t let me know that so many people were going to be staying for 2 weeks. He wouldn’t turn to face me, or speak, and I became even angrier.
Then all of a sudden he turned around and started to talk to me…I realized that he looked like an enlightened Buddha with piercing blue eyes. My boyfriend is Hispanic, but in the dream he looked exactly like a Buddha. I knew it was him though, even though it didn’t look like him, it was still him. Then I woke up…
The message that I got from the dream is that he actually IS one of my teachers. When I thought about the dream and really analyzed it, I burst into tears. This huge uncontrollable emotion came over me and I started to cry. I noticed that I get these emotional outbursts when I receive a profound realization. It’s not a normal type of crying, it’s coming from deep within my core like a huge pressure sensation and then I need to cry to let the pressure out.
Every time he’s pushed my buttons and done things that I just can’t believe he would do, have all been to test me and to teach me a lesson about Patience and Unconditional Love. It’s all part of my lessons in mastering emotions. I’m sure he’s not aware of it on this level, but maybe he really is my teacher from another level…I also realized that I had been viewing him as someone who’s asleep and not Spiritually awakened…but what if he’s actually a master? Who am I to determine what his Spiritual status is? My own arrogance was blocking me from seeing the Divine in him…All of that added to the emotions that I was experiencing and gave me a new perspective.
So I told my boyfriend about the dream and jokingly told him that he was my Buddha master….His reply was?….He’s a “booty” master…. (sigh) and (eye roll)….Only HE could downplay such a profound moment in my journey! LOL
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The Rude Buddhist Monk
I had another dream a few years ago that I was walking through a Buddhist monastery…there was a large group of monks sitting on the floor meditating and a monk standing in front of them. The monk walked over to me and said with an arrogant tone “What are YOU doing here”?…”Shouldn’t you be at a Starbuck’s getting your coffee, or out shopping or something”? …I began to feel anger rising inside of me and couldn’t believe that this monk was being so rude to me for no reason.
All of a sudden, the anger completely went away and I calmly said to the monk “You can make fun of me if it makes you feel better about yourself, but I’m not going to let you affect me”…There was a brief silence, and after a few moments, the group of meditating monks all stood up and started clapping… the rude monk smiled, put his hands together and bowed toward me…then I woke up…
If I treat every person in this lifetime that tests me or pushes my buttons, like they’re an undercover master teacher, then I can react differently to whatever it is they’re doing. From this moment onward, I’m going to view everyone as a teacher that’s teaching me how to control my emotions. I feel excited about this, like I’ve received the answers right before a big exam… I got this 😉
**After writing this blog, I found a post from April 5, 2013 that was in sync with the feeling I had of being tested…the post can be found here: