Godself ~ Painting by Alex Grey
“Every person is an aspect of one Godself” – Alex Grey
July 29, 2016
I really haven’t felt like posting anything for quite a while. I’ve been writing in my journal, but just not feeling like sharing, I guess…Something happened yesterday that really affected me and I feel like it was a pretty big shift, so I felt inspired to write about it.
Yesterday something happened that drew so much energy and emotion, that it felt like it combusted. It started while I was driving home from the store and I got this realization that hit me like a ton of bricks…I realized that I am what we call “God”…I chose my life before I was even born…I am a facet of the Creator, and if I am the Creator, then why in the world am I agreeing to play this stupid game any longer? It actually kind of pissed me off – lol
I’ve always known this to be true, but this realization was different…it’s like something awakened inside of me and I actually felt it in every cell in my body. I guess I can say that it’s like I embodied/integrated the realization and it started triggering anger…anger because I was blindly participating in something that I didn’t need to be a part of anymore. Everything started to flash in my mind and I was suddenly seeing my entire life.
It got me to thinking that I have experienced quite a bit of suffering in this lifetime; physical abuse, family issues, homelessness, birth defects, health problems, chronic allergies, EMF hypersensitivity etc…and although I’ve evolved throughout the years, I’m still experiencing difficulty with most of those issues.
So why am I agreeing to this crap?! Why am I agreeing to participate day-after-day-after-day to allow this illusion to continue to exist?
I started to question everything; what about karma? Isn’t that like a set of rules made up by another person? Who decided that humans would have to participate in karma? And what about genetics? My family has a long list of health issues so I will most likely have them too? Who decided that? (my doctor told me the other day that I will most likely have osteoporosis because it runs in my family – Huh?! ) What if I don’t agree to that? What if I know and believe that I can and will change that? The more questions flooded in, the more agitated I became…but I just allowed myself to delve deep into these feelings and bring them to the surface.
When I got home, I waited until everyone left and I was home alone…then I looked into the mirror, looked directly into my eyes and began to yell.
I started with “Hey YOU…I’m talking to YOU, not some outside source or a God sitting on a throne in some distant place, I’m talking to YOU…the one who created this life”.
I yelled to myself that since “I” was responsible for the circumstances in my life, since I chose all of this before I was even born, then “I” was putting my foot down and refusing to participate any longer.
I was angry. WHO would choose this crap?! Why would anyone or anything choose suffering or set it up so that a helpless child HAS TO suffer from the very start of their life with circumstances beyond their control? “I” chose this?
I let it all out and demanded that things change in my life and environment or I will “opt-out’ because I’m SO worn out…I said I was tired and beat-up and physically/emotionally exhausted…and I refused to participate in this stupid game any longer.
I had done the work, handed over full trust to this process, activated dormant chakras, forgiven, cleared, released, cleared again and again, embodied, integrated, anchored, transformed, transmuted, transfigured, transcended…ALL of the T’s….but after all of that, I still had pain and suffering, and now I’d hit rock bottom. I was consciously putting my foot down. NO MORE PAIN AND SUFFERING.
After screaming at my reflection and letting it all out, I felt so much better. The rush of emotion seemed to clear and I was able to calm down. It felt like a huge release of pressure from my core…like a volcano erupting. A while later, once I became calm again and was able to get centered, I tuned in to what I had just experienced. I was able to understand what had happened.
I realized that my emotional outburst was a huge shift in my energetic field and a substantial release…another tier in the awakening stratum (I didn’t even know what the word stratum meant, but it popped into my mind) . Revolutionary anger is always a sign of change in the making….lol And that is a reflection in the outer world today…and now, a revolution within my own body as well…Ahhh…
This was a huge catalyst that was igniting a transformation from within. The images that I received were of flames combusting and igniting other flames.
This is the beginning of many coming into their own true power (consciously). Not the kind of power as in wars and control, but the exact opposite of that. This is the uprising of Unconditional Love, protection and security…the security to fully awaken with full support and understanding. The security to release all of the programming.
Sometimes it’s not that we need protection from the “bad guys”(illusions)….sometimes we need protection from ourselves(creators)…from our programming of self sabotage and actions due to habit…from our belief systems, from societal conditioning. It just takes one person to guide another through that and to bring it to awareness…to ignite the flame.
Today there is a new sense of confidence, of being stronger and a “knowing” that all is in the process of transformation. Change is inevitable…I choose to believe that things will change, that in that moment of looking in the mirror, they have already been changed.
So…”Hey YOU, the one that created this life…I choose CHANGE.”
And so it is 🙂
Macy Kate Band -“Imagine Dragons – Radioactive” cover (Click HERE for lyrics)
**After writing this, I found some posts that were a confirmation to this recent experience…awesome sync! :
**And on Aug.16th from Lee Harris’ Facebook page he says:
“Never more than now are many of you looking to draw something good to yourselves. Many of you have bargained with your higher selves or the Universe saying you cannot go on unless you are given something to help keep you afloat.
If this is you, the something you need is you. For some of you, meeting yourself will be the hardest meeting you will ever have because for so long you have been defining yourself by everyone else. But now you have come back to yourself and you are feeling more. Pandora’s Box has been opened.
It is a little like opening the cupboard in the back of your house that you have not looked in for twenty years. You find some wonderful things you had forgotten. You find some unexpected things you are surprised you kept. Many of you have a violent physical reaction to the dust. [Audience laughter]
~ From Remagnetizing The Heart
Yes Lee, I would definitely be one to have a violent physical reaction to the dust with these allergies of mine…lol 🙂