Tag Archives: Transmute

Awareness And Release Of Trauma

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~ . Some fear the firesome simply become it . ~

It’s been a while since I’ve written.  Over the past year, I’ve had a series of events happen that have been totally and completely life changing/shifting.  I’ll start with one that introduced me to a new healing modality that I had never heard of before.  This modality has offered exposure and healing for deep down trauma like no other that I’ve ever experienced. I haven’t read anything online about others having this same type of effect from the modality, but I’ll share with you, the profound effect I’ve had as a result.

In May of last year (2018), I got a temporary job with the U.S. Post Office in Phoenix, Arizona.  I left my comfort zone job in remote Utah to take the new job in Arizona. I already knew that it was time for me to leave my “holding spot” and a series of events served as a catalyst for the change… I didn’t have anywhere to stay in AZ since my ex-boyfriend’s house was no longer available, so I started to search the AIRBNB website.  There was a listing that I totally resonated with and I made a request to rent a room for at least a month to get me started. After the first phone conversation with the owner, we both felt that there was a connection and she said it would be okay to rent the room on a monthly basis.

Long story short, the owner is a healer/energy worker and a very talented  artist. She is probably one of the sweetest souls I’ve ever met.  She just radiates a very calming and Loving energy.  She lives in a beautiful home nestled inside South Mountain right near the border of Tempe, AZ. She has a telepathic energy transmuting pitbull and a magical Goddess cat lol…. After a couple of weeks of staying in the home, she casually mentioned “Let me know when you want me to run your bars”….and I was like “Huh???”

I had no idea what she meant by that. What does “run your bars” mean? It ended up that she remembers a full conversation that we had about her doing the Access Consciousness healing modality on me, which focuses on touch points on your head that they call “bars”.  In this conversation, I had agreed to have it done.

We actually didn’t have the conversation that she remembered, but I trusted that she probably had it in a dream or in another realm. Since this has happened to me with other people remembering full conversations with me that never took place, I just went with it.  Either way, I felt good about it, so I agreed (again) lol.

The treatment, I’m guessing, takes approximately 1 hr on average, but you can go longer if needed.  We ended up going for almost 2 hours. I could feel the energy on my head like a Reiki treatment, only, the different bars would cause different sensations in different parts of my body when engaged.  When she got to the “Implant bar” behind the ears, I started to have visions and started to hear things, and to smell things…it was really bizarre the first time that this happened.

The first thing that I heard was pounding, very LOUD pounding. I got the message that this pounding was coming from underground.  I tuned into it and started to smell damp cold Earth, it was very dark. I saw a weathered turquoise wooden box and realized that I was trapped in this box underground.

(It was kinda creepy finding this picture online because it’s the exact same color that I saw..Yikes!)

I was the one who was making the pounding noise as I was frantically hitting and kicking the lid of the wooden box in hopes of somebody hearing my desperate screams for help…I was buried alive underground and left to suffocate and die.

After that vision had passed and played out, I started to smell something burning.  Then I felt extreme heat on the right side of my face. I saw fire. The smell began to change and I realized that it was the smell of burning flesh.  The heat on the side of my face was from my flesh burning in the flames. I was a female in that lifetime and I was being burned at the stake.

After we were done, I continued to have a very active electrical sensation on the right side of my face for several hours.  It’s like my face was repairing on a grid level after I had released the memory.

So I ended up leaving Arizona after a month because the job didn’t work out (I would not recommend EVER working for the Post Office lol) and I was being called to California to deal with creepy ancestral crap involving the paternal side of my family (which is a living nightmare I’ll write about later). When I was done with this other work, I ended up returning to her home in Arizona after a year had passed, and was back at her house again in May of this year, once again, for only a month.

This time we did an energy exchange for each other.  She would run my bars one day and I would do Reiki and other energy work on her at a different time, in exchange.  The next time she ran my bars, and when she got to the “implant bar”, I had A vision of “blackface”.

It was floating in the air like a photograph.  When I tuned into the energy to understand what that meant, I saw myself as an African male standing next to a tree.  I was a slave. I was hanged on that tree and then they lit me on fire. That was a very difficult implant/imprint to remove.  I had to really focus on removing it for quite a while. It took some time, but toward the end, I saw and felt a string (maybe a rope?) unravel in the right side of my jaw.  It was all intertwined and deeply embedded in the bone. It unraveled from my jaw bone, then down my neck, through my shoulder, my right arm and then it was forcefully being pulled out of my right hand.  It was REALLY long, so it took a while to pull the entire string/rope out. I have a feeling that this string/rope is some type of implant regarding hanging. Now that it’s in awareness, it should be easier to clear on other people.  That implant was a sneaky one that’s hard to detect. (**Also, in my personal experience, this implant may also be linked to suicidal thoughts having to do with hanging oneself, which I’ll also write about later).

The next and last time she ran my bars and got to the implant bar, I had a vision of a Knight’s Templar male.  First I saw the symbol, then I saw the sword.

In part of the vision, the sword was placed in my spine (energetically).  The top handle part was where my shoulders were, and the length of the sword pointing downward was in my spine.  I realized that the sword was energetically embedded in my spine when I took the Templar oath. I saw myself as a Knight kneeling.

I felt the strong sensation of loyalty and sense of purpose that I had invoked. It was overwhelmingly strong.  I knew that the oath was affecting my life now, that despite doing numerous vow and contract release techniques, that the sword had still been embedded in my spine on a different level. That one was also difficult to remove because there was such a strong sense of loyalty. It’s almost like a guilt feeling that I’ve abandoned a cause that I believed in so deeply and felt so passionate about. I had the same guilt type feeling in releasing Bodhisattva vows as well…But what I’ve come to realize is that in believing so passionately that we need to keep that vow, in attachment to the belief that we need to save someone or something, we’re actually creating it and keeping the need alive, we’re feeding it energy.  Once we release the belief in that need, in that vow, then the actual need for saving – the reflection of that in this world – will be released. That was a big realization for me. Quite profound…

So after these experiences with this type of trauma/death release, it was brought to my attention that for me personally, this was connected with “bullying” in my life. These deaths that I had experienced in other lifetimes have imprinted a type of trauma/wound that was reflecting/attracting bullying energy.  People being mean, people judging me for being different, people not liking me and making fun of me….this was all connected to the trauma of being condemned to death for being different in other lifetimes or for being a threat to their power over other people.

Maybe we all have such implants/imprints in consciousness;  being burned at the stake for being a witch or a healer, buried alive for being a threat in exposing the truth, Knights Templar destroyed by King Phillip’s command, beheaded for various reasons from various Royalty figures, lynched, starved to death, gassed, stoned, drowned because of our race or the color of our skin.

I’m sure I have more to clear and will definitely continue with my bars sessions.  Although it’s very sad and can be painful to tap into those energies, it’s also very interesting to see where each one connects with what is currently going on in this lifetime, what triggers are related to the particular imprint in consciousness.

But now that it’s in awareness, it should be easier to clear on myself and on others.  I am very Grateful

 ………….~Still We Rise~

Dream Work ~ February 21, 2018

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Courage

I had a really strange vivid dream last night that appeared to be from a past life or parallel lifetime. It seemed very Shamanic in nature and involved shadow clearing, which is something that I’ve experienced occasionally throughout this process.

I was in a dimly lit house and everything was dark in black and gray colors (which for me, has always meant that it took place in the lower realms) with three other Native American people.  I think they were family members in that lifetime.

We were getting ready to go somewhere, like on a trip or something, so we were packing the car.  It was dark outside.  When I was going through the rooms to make sure that we didn’t forget anything, I saw a human tongue placed on each bed.  The tongues looked like they were completely ripped out of someone’s mouth but there was no blood.

After seeing that, I was a little panicked, so I began rushing through the house checking everything.  As I was going from room to room, I saw very tall (about 7 feet tall) shadow figures that looked like the silhouette of Native American elders wearing ritual costume (headdress, feathers etc).

ShadowSorcerer

I got the message that they were ancient spirits having to do with sorcery.

I went to warn the family members in the house that something was happening, but they couldn’t hear me.  Then I realized that they couldn’t see me either.  I was confused and the whole thing didn’t make any sense.  I was getting frustrated.  Some of the dream was jumbled and confusing which reminded me of when you watch a DVD movie with scratches on it and it skips and looks distorted as it plays.

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The next full memory of the dream (that made any sense) is of me shouting “In Nomine Patris Et Fili Et Spiritus Sancti” (“In the name of the Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit” in Latin) over and over again and the other family members and I did a group hug and then we all merged together as one.  Then I realized there were multiples (like clones) of all of them that kept reappearing, so all of the other versions of them did  the same group hug and merged with me over and over again.  We just continued to do this for a while until it stopped.

I feel that once we all merged, it was finished.  I also get the feeling that the tongues were actually being voluntarily returned to us.  It was like we were collecting parts of self and merging back into wholeness.  The missing tongues had suppressed throat chakras over many lifetimes (throat chakra is connected to element ether).  It seemed as if the shadow spirits were cooperating because everything had been settled (as in debt) and they no longer had a purpose to hold onto…they wanted to move on, it was not a struggle.

Another thing that I remember from the dream is that when I tried to lock a door, the lock was removed by itself and it just floated in the air in front of me.  Then later, after I had finished with that dream and woke up this morning, I briefly slipped back into sleep again.  I quickly fell into a dream scene of a different brightly lit house, where I could see someone walking up to the front door.  I immediately looked at the door handle / lock and then the door forcefully swung open by itself.  The lock was also removed by itself and was just floating in the air in front of my face…then I woke up again.

I thought about it for a while and feel that the locks coming off is a message that once we begin the unification process, that nothing can be hidden or “locked away” anymore.  Everything is shared, known and exposed.  You just have to deal with it because it’s “in your face”…there’s no more putting it off for later.  There seems to be a massive “Return to Rightful Owner” and Unification happening at the moment.  This is HUGE.

When this process (Return to Rightful Owner) takes place, it can be very emotional.  These parts that are being returned have been missing for a very long time.  Once returned, they can feel wounded, sad, disoriented, traumatized, very exposed…I went through many different emotions, but now I’m feeling a strong emotional Love-type feeling right now.  It’s almost like a Motherly Love and protection that you feel for a child.  This experience was something really big for me…I can’t really put it all into words.

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**After writing this, I found Lisa Renee’s latest blog post “Point of Divergence” and she explains the current phase which totally explains my dream…Part of it says:

“The gridworkers are called to witness these fallen forces as they surface into our view from the underworld, or from the depths of the lower dimensions. Many of us are acting as transition teams, holding compassionate witnessing, to move out these entities from the AI timeline, phantom or dead areas, and they are both human and non-human entities. This is sad for us when we can feel the pain existing in the lower dimension of the earth, and we are forced to observe and may feel we are leaving certain people behind.  This emotional processing has required a completion cycle of the old timelines, through clearing out ancestral miasma, cord cutting, and disconnection from certain people or things that are stuck in the miasma of the lower fields or moving onto a different path.”

The whole post can be found HERE

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**Also, on March 17th, I found Lisa Renee’s “Shifting Timelines” Monthly Newsletter “Law of Gender” and in it she says:

“In the process of shifting into the next harmonic universe, many in the Krystic family have been enduring an embodiment phase for the new mathematical proportions of the diamond sun 12 Tree Grid pattern for the fifth dimensional octave. Additionally, many reclamation of identities and body parts from the parallels have been taking place, such as a return of the Adamic lines back to the rightful owner to support their current phase of embodiment. “

The entire post can be found HERE

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Love ❤

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Transmuting the Collective Tantrum

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tantrum tantrumzone

I went out to go get some food for dinner yesterday.  I’m not a big fan of fast food, but for some reason I wanted to go out in public…I was nudged…I don’t think I’ve ever felt SO MUCH negativity coming from people in public, as I did while I was out.  I felt like my energy was being attacked.  Not like something physically, because I didn’t feel anything actually touching me…but like my energy was immersed in their feelings of hate, prejudice, anger, total chaos…just plain MEAN!  It was extremely uncomfortable, and I couldn’t wait to get home as quickly as possible.

When I got home, I was literally dizzy with distress.  I even started dropping things, because I couldn’t focus on anything.  This energy was so strong and was nothing like I’d experienced before…I was even shaking…What in the world was going on?…and why was it affecting me?

I ended up getting really tired (like that drugged feeling) around 7pm and went to lay down.  I went into that half awake – half asleep mode and felt lots of movement in my body.  I felt stuff entering the bottom of my feet and it had a little sting to it.  I’ve only felt the stinging sensation once before for a brief second, but this time it was a little longer than that.  I’m thinking it’s because there are so many nerve endings on the bottom of your feet and mine are extremely super sensitive.  Also felt some movement at the Root chakra.  I think I needed to heal whatever it was that happened to me earlier.  It must have been pretty strong…I ended up laying down for about an hour and then got up completely awake again and feeling much better…

Later, I found a channeling that was posted yesterday that spoke of this negativity that had been released…

The article is here:

http://johnsmallman.wordpress.com/2012/12/09/a-massive-release-of-pent-up-negative-energy-is-occurring-in-preparation-for-humanitys-awakening/

I’m glad I found it because it gives me comfort to get some type of explanation for something so uncomfortable 🙂

So I thought it was just something that happened briefly yesterday and went out again today to get some groceries….WRONG!  I was hit even worse today to the point of feeling like a panic attack.  It’s overwhelmingly thick out there right now.  Also my Sacral chakra feels like it’s on fire today.  I invoked the Violet Flame of Transmutation to get some relief and for the very first time, it didn’t work…this is some MAJOR transmuting going on right now…WOW…I give HUGE GRATITUDE to all the transmuters out there.  You are in for a big job right now.

When I stay at home, and don’t go out in public, I can comfortably transmute from a distance and at my own pace…I compare it to having a screaming child in another room….you still have to hear it, and you still feel a little stress from the commotion, but you can send Love & comfort from a distance…But going out in public right now, I compare it to someone handing you a screaming child that’s throwing a huge tantrum…kicking and screaming, scratching you to try to get out of your arms…you have no choice but to deal with it and do the best you can to calm the situation.

Some people aren’t aware that they are transmuters or aren’t sure if they are…well, if you go out in public right now and feel like someone smacked you upside the head with a 2 by 4, and then handed you a screaming child throwing a tantrum, then YOU ARE without a doubt,  A TRANSMUTER…LOL!

I’m sure this is just some last minute junk that we’re clearing for 12-12-12.  That’s just a couple of days from now and I’ll be in Sedona on that day…but in the meantime, I’ll be in bed curled up in the fetal position, calling on the Violet Flame !!!  As I’m typing this, I’m able to calm the energy a bit, and now starting to feel my Crown chakra swaying…whew…some relief…

Sending HUGE GRATITUDE to all of the Divine Souls out there that are calming this collective tantrum…your service is such a Blessing!  Thank YOU so much!

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Astral and Etheric Spiders

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Starting in my early 20’s, I remember waking up from sleep and seeing a huge transparent shadow-like spider hanging next to my bed.  There was no immediate fear because I knew it wasn’t “real”.  I just stared at it for a while, so calm and moving it’s legs like it was weaving, and then it slowly faded until it was gone.  I’d seen them on occasion off and on for several years.  I always just kind of ignored it, and passed it off as still being in the dream state.  I didn’t see any after my big awakening in 2007, until about two years ago.  I’ve just seen it one time since this big awakening, it was about the size of a tarantula and it was also on the wall next to my bed when I woke up from sleep.

My curiosity got me, so I researched it online and found a phenomenon called “astral spiders” or “etheric spiders”.  There’s a lot of negative stuff out there regarding this phenomena.  People are saying that they’re negative and that they’re parasites that actually siphon off of your aura and allegedly attack you in your sleep (yawn).  Do I feel this to be true in my experience?…No…I don’t feel any negativity coming from these beings, and I’m pretty darn sensitive.  I’m looking right at them and acknowledge them, and they don’t scurry off or show any fear, they don’t emanate any negativity or fear…they just calmly continue to weave.

This brings me to the subject of dream catchers.  There’s a Native American legend that dream catchers hung by your bed will catch any negativity or negative dreams in the web-like center of the dream catcher.  Since I’ve always seen these spiders while waking from sleep, and they’re always weaving around me, maybe they’re actually weaving a form of “dream catcher” around while I sleep ?

There’s also a legend of Grandmother Spider which is Goddess energy, and various other cultures view spiders as Creator of the universe, bringers of good luck and fortune, and even protectors.  I think I resonate with those explanations a lot better than the fear based ones !

The classic dream catcher has a pattern in it’s web that looks very familiar to me :

It reminds me of the top view of a Torus :

I’ve even woken up from sleep to see the top view of a torus illuminated in white, glistening with a golden sheen above me.   I feel like there’s a connection there, between the astral spiders, webs, the geometry of the dream catcher and the Torus, but I can’t quite figure it out yet.  I’m thinking MAYBE, the spiders are actually attracted to negative energy, and “siphon” it off of your aura because they are a type of transmuter.  That would explain the connection to spider webs, the influence and creation of the dream catcher, and definitely explain the connection to the Torus…the Torus IS the act of transmutation itself.  It cycles and renews all energy, therefore, cleansing it.  Is it possible that these astral spiders are not these big scary parasites that are stealing our energy, and are in fact, only removing the negative energy? Something to think about…

I, myself, have a fear of spiders, and I know quite a few people who have a severe fear of spiders…but why?  Why are we so afraid of them?  Past life experiences maybe?  Is it because they look ugly?  Is it programmed into us by society?  If the positive legends about spiders are true, how can something that I’m so afraid of in this lifetime be my ally?

I was deathly afraid of mosquitoes when I was a kid. Sounds silly, huh ? I would run away screaming if I saw one. My friends and neighbors thought it was hysterically funny.  My neighbors even nicknamed me “Mosquito”.  I could not live that one down… 😦 …but a few years ago, my best friend got bit by a mosquito and actually got the complicated form of West Nile virus from it…the one that causes meningitis.  She almost died.  Did I somehow know or feel when I was a kid that mosquitoes could kill you?

It’s hard to tell sometimes what the real reason is behind our fears or phobias.  That’s something I need to work on.  I’m posting a picture of a spider here, (even one with 100’s of babies on her back-LOL) to force me to look at it and figure out where my fear comes from….Yikes!