Tag Archives: Heart Center

The Awakening ~ Part 1

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awakening gif

The Awakening ~

When I first had my Kundalini awakening, I had absolutely NO IDEA what had happened or what I was feeling afterward.  The force of it blew me completely out of my body and I was suddenly in another realm.  I passed through the black void of nothingness  until I saw the essence of the Red Mahakala swirling around in the darkness. It looked like red smoke that formed into the face.

I had to pass through the Mahakala to enter the next realm. In this realm, out of the darkness, a beautiful swirling galaxy appeared before me. The stars seemed to have white and pinkish colors sparkling as the galaxy spiraled in motion (I had never seen the movie “Contact” at this point, but years later when I saw it, it brought tears to my eyes when Jodie Foster saw the Galaxy in the other realm).

I just stared at how profound and beautiful this Galaxy was, until I saw a disembodied face with a tall headpiece (like the Thai Buddha statues) appear before me. It came from the left side of my view.

The face was animated and had a violet/pink color emanating from it and I realized that the face was me!  It stared at me for a while, smiled and winked at me and then I was pulled back into this realm where my physical body was.

Once I came back to my body, all of my chakras were completely blown wide open.  As a result, I was feeling a swaying and tickling sensation on the top of my head (Crown) and in the middle of my chest (Heart Center). I was also seeing symbols floating in the air around me and would begin to see gridlines.  I would spend a lot of time staring at the top of my head, in the mirror, trying to figure out why I could feel it moving, but couldn’t see anything moving lol

Long story short, I eventually got on Google (aka my Guru – lol) and searched “feeling movement on the top of my head” and found information about chakras which led me to the info about Kundalini. Until then, I had no clue what a chakra or Kundalini was and didn’t know (remember) anything about Buddhism.   I did find a lot of stuff that would talk about “Spiritual Emergency” and about some people not being ready for Kundalini and having all sorts of problems.  After extensive research, I decided that the best thing for me to do was to remove as many blocks as I could, and to learn how to work with this force that had completely ripped through my body.

I did a lot of comparison and decided to attend some Reiki Tummo workshops mainly because they worked with the Kundalini energy, removed chakra knots, widened the shushumna and also because they are very focused on strengthening the Heart Center.  I knew I would really need to work on my Heart because I had a lot of childhood trauma and had been in protection-mode for most of my life.

I had been sent to Pennsylvania for a work related 4 month detail when I had my awakening. During this time, I was conducting an investigation on a facility in Reading.  The closest workshop that I found was in Maryland…so within the first month of my awakening, I signed up and took the 3 hour drive to attend the workshop.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into but I felt really good about my decision.

The Attunement (Initiation) ~

The house that the workshop was held at was SO beautiful.  It just felt so mystical with beautiful spiritual artwork, crystals and art pieces from other countries throughout the home.  There was a strong presence of Divine Feminine energy.  When I looked out into the backyard, there was a forest of tall thin aspen trees and everything was white and glistening from the recent snow.  The owner had Husky dogs with white eyes that greeted me at the patio doors as I was staring into the forest in awe.

We all sat in the basement as we listened to Carlos Nakai flute music and were surrounded by the soft scent of sandalwood incense.  They were very respectful and required that everyone be very quiet which made the whole experience feel so sacred. When we had the initial group attunement, I felt a massive amount of Blissful liquid energy forcefully pouring into the top of my head.  It was so strong that it caused my head to move in a circular spiral motion.  When I opened my eyes and looked around the room I could see other people moving in a circular spiral motion too.  There were some advanced practitioners who actually had huge smiles on their faces and had their eyes rolled back into their head as they were spiraling !  I’m not kidding, their eyes were completely white!  They were so overtaken with Bliss from the attunement.

During part of the workshop, in small groups, we would all stand around a person lying on the table, and would all channel energy to the person on the table.  The point and intention of this practice was to open the person’s shushumna and to clear/widen the pathway. As I was channeling the energy through my hands, I felt it start to shoot out of my Heart Center.  It was such a beautiful feeling to have this Divine energy coursing through my Heart.  It felt like a pumping motion as it was pouring out.  I was surprised when one of the instructors came close to my ear and softly whispered “Yes, that’s it…use your Heart”.  It was then that I realized that she could actually see everything that I was feeling.

At times during the workshop, I felt out of place because everyone was so patient and Loving and I wasn’t used to being around people like that.  I was still working in law enforcement and had been pretty hardened by my environment.  I knew that I had a lot of work to do and probably one of the most difficult things that I’ve had to work through was getting over the feeling of not being worthy or not good enough to experience this Divine energy.  I guess growing up around Catholics will do that to you…haha

The Clearing ~

After the class, I took the 3 hour drive back to Pennsylvania.  When I got to my hotel room, I cried the entire night.  The initial cleansing process from such a huge influx of energy was brutal!  Before I ended up falling asleep, I asked ‘God’ why I was chosen to experience this and said that I felt that I wasn’t worthy because I had so much negativity from my life. As I was falling asleep and was in that in-between state, I felt something hug/envelope my body and stroke my face in comfort. It lulled me to sleep.

I remember waking up a few times throughout the night and would see symbols flashing one after another in the air above me.  I was getting some type of download.  Many years later, I saw a video where Lisa Renee called this type of download a “ticker tape” download.  That’s a perfect explanation of what I experienced that night…symbol after symbol flashing one after another for several hours.

Early in the morning when I woke up, I saw a little bright blue orb fluttering around in front of my face.  It had little sparkles coming off of it that looked like pixie dust and it landed on my pillow in front of me as it slowly faded out of sight.

Because of the massive cleansing that I was going through from the attunement, I couldn’t attend the 2nd class that was scheduled the next day.  I ended up staying in bed crying the whole weekend.  I had lots of weird stuff happen during those 2 days in bed going in and out of sleep.  I remember that I had a painting on the wall next to my bed and it was of a lake with a tree next to it, on a sunny day.  One time when I woke from sleep, the painting was of the same lake and tree, only it was winter and snowing!  The symbols continued to download and I continued to feel something stroking my face and arm in comfort.

I rescheduled the 2nd class for a month later, but the only one available was at a totally different location in Pennsylvania.  This class would be with a different group of people.  I’ll write about that experience in another post.

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Love ❤

 

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Diamond Solar Heart ~

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On March 12th, something shifted when I woke up in the morning… I heard 3 loud chimes (kindof like bell ringing tones, but more like someone swept across 3 keys on a xylophone very quickly) and when I heard the sounds; I saw an image in my mind that looked like white sun rays with a light gray background. It kinda looked like this but with light gray instead of the black:

                                                   rays

I wasn’t sure what to make of it, so later I meditated on it and got the message that it was a marker for a new level/phase/initiation. I was a little confused at first, so I asked for a better explanation. I was shown that when I hear the chimes and shown the pictures in my mind, it’s because a new (group) level has been reached. The tones represent an addition to the harmonization of signature tone. The picture is a representation of a new level. This particular picture shown to me is of Diamond Rays? At first I wasn’t sure if I was interpreting that correctly, but that’s what I got. So I did a little research on the internet and it occurred to me that the rays looked similar to other pictures that I found:

Milarepa´s heart of light rainbowbody

And then I found this picture which made more sense:

Precious Diamond With Rainbow

Ahhh…. So that’s what it means. There’s a large group who has reached the level of Diamond Light Body/Rainbow Body. I was given the message that this will be triggered or beginning phases for this group on or around Spring Equinox/Solar Eclipse. So on March 19th, I woke up in the morning and felt a sensation of warmth coming from my core. It spread outward and felt like it was filling up my body. It would last for a while until I was distracted by outside noise and then the sensation would stop. I’ve felt it before, but never really paid attention to it enough to figure out what it was.

SolarHeart

I decided to focus on it to see if I could make it happen at will, and found that I actually could…When I focused on it, I was shown (and also physically felt) that it was my Solar Plexus and Heart chakras blending or combining together and this was creating an energy that was emanating outward. It has something to do with merging timelines or realities? I’m not sure if I interpreted that correctly? Something more along the lines of zero point, meaning that it’s a merging of HU-man authentic power energy (Solar Plexus) with Divine Love (Heart)…creating some sort of bridge/portal to anchor. The message I got was that the merging of the two created a portal that will anchor the Higher energies… I’m not even going to pretend that I understand any of that stuff -lol   …I’m sure there’s much more to it than my limited interpretation.

It was clearly a very warm energy and I could feel such a blissful comfort from it. When the warmth would emanate outward, I felt like I was expanding and leaving my body…kind of like I was expanding to a different realm. It was an awesome feeling to be able to control it for the first time, since this type of stuff has only happened randomly without my knowing or conscious direction. I was shown that now that I was aware of it, I could create it anytime I wanted. I went online and searched “Solar Heart chakra” to see if I could find anything, but there really wasn’t anything except one post about the merging of the Heart and Solar Plexus.   The author had also experienced the same sensation and called it the “Solar Heart chakra”. The article can be found HERE

**Later after writing about this, I stumbled upon a post from Sandra Walter that she wrote in May 2013 while searching for something else. I was surprised that she had already written about it and she had even posted a video about it. She called it the “Solar Heart center”.  I guess I wasn’t ready for it until now…Her post can be found HERE

Picture from Sandra’s article :

Diamond

In her explanation, she describes it as a diamond and this center being between the Heart and High Heart center. She doesn’t mention anything about the Solar Plexus though…. So now this is all coming together…it totally makes sense. I never really understood how I was supposed to create or manifest, and had tried several different techniques. Sometimes things would manifest, and sometimes they wouldn’t. What I did realize is that sometimes I unintentionally manifested stuff when I was in a state of high emotion. But the message that I’m getting from this Solar Heart experience is that this is the tool to consciously manifest and create without having to worry about the high emotion influencing the creation. It is of Christed Light, so lower energies are not even an option in this form of manifestation.

At the moment, the strongest way for me to connect to this merge, is in the half awake/half asleep state. When I wake up in the morning, if I don’t fully let myself wake up, seems to be the best time to play with this. I’ve been doing this for a few days now. I’ll keep playing with it and see if I can bring myself into this state while fully awake.

Love ❤

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Energy Sensations – Update January 13, 2014

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HeartCenter

The Kundalini has been super active lately. Starting a few nights ago, the energies started tickling my entire body…It lasted a couple of days…I had to keep scratching myself because it felt like someone was running a feather over me. It’s probably the Kundalini sensation that most people describe as “bugs crawling all over your body”.

On the morning of January 9th I felt the “hot spots” on my Crown chakra…This was the first time I’ve ever felt pain on my actual Crown. I’ve had pineal migraines and tenderness on my scalp over the years, but those are 3D sensations…this was different since it’s on an etheric level. It’s difficult to explain, but it feels like it’s painful to my physical body, but it also feels like it’s distant or further away than my physical body, but the pain still comes in…Does that even make sense?

I noticed that my Crown felt different last week, so something’s definitely changing. The hot spots felt like little electrical pulses with heat that kind of stings a little. It’s a very slow sensation, like if it’s happening while suspended in time and my perception is delayed or it skips? I know that probably sounds weird but that’s the only way I can explain it. A few minutes after feeling the pulses randomly on my Crown, I heard three loud chimes…kind of like bells ringing but it was a different type of sound vibration. The sounds were somehow very comforting…

The past few days there has also been a lot of activity on the nasal chakra which feels like warm water pouring out of the top and the bridge of my nose. I’ve also been seeing more than just the little sparkles manifesting around me…now I’m seeing a big circle of layered illuminated blue taking over my entire vision for a split second. It just pops into my mind and takes over my whole vision so fast that I’m startled by it. It kind of looks like this:

blueorb

Starting on January 9th I noticed that my Heart center felt larger…when I focused on it, I’d get the image of a big void space, but it had small pinpoints of light that looked like stars.

Stars

That doesn’t make any sense to me because I usually see something there, whether it’s a color, or a pulse, but as of Wednesday, I’m just seeing this vast open space (which literally looks like outer space). My chest feels HUGE. This is a totally new sensation for me…I haven’t experienced anything even close to this so it’s a little bizarre. I’ve heard of a Heart expansion, but wasn’t quite taking the meaning so literally! It seems funny to me and made me laugh at the thought of my Heart center looking like outer space… I’m sure I’ll figure it out soon…

With the chest expansion and the heavier Crown activity, I feel more “alive”, and it now feels like my energy flow is reversed. When I used to get the Torus sensation, it would feel like I was turning inward on myself and it was very overwhelming…but now it feels like my center is turning outward and spreading my energy out instead of bringing it in. When it used to turn inward, I would feel like a pressure cooker with too much inside and I would lose my breath. Now it feels like it’s dispersing outward and it’s a more “free” feeling of expansion.

**In November 2014 (10 months after writing this), I found this picture and it reminded me of this experience ❤ … **I later received a vision that showed me that this phase in the process is considered “THE EYE OF THE NEEDLE”…and if you look at the picture below, it kind of does look like the eye of a needle….In the vision, the “threading” was shown to me as connecting to others through this newly expanded Heart space, which would represent Heart based “Unity” consciousness.

heartexpansion

~***~

On the morning of January 10th I woke up and felt energy entering into the bottom of my feet. I’ve felt this before, but it’s rare compared to the constant flow of feeling the energy pouring out of my feet. The Kundalini was extremely active that day and was just whipping around quickly moving all over my body. When the energy was entering my right foot, I felt clusters of nerves twitching on the bottom of my foot, then I felt the energy move through my lower leg causing my leg to have a very powerful chills sensation, then it moved up through my right thigh, into my Root chakra which tickled, and then quickly moved upward through the rest of my body to the left side of my face…the energy stayed at my left temple for quite a while.

I have no idea why the energy spends so much time at my temples. I can’t find much about “temple chakras” online. I know there are chakras there because I can feel them, but it seems to be a very secretive topic for some reason. I wonder why? I’m gonna do some more research and see if I can find out more about them.

The energies are definitely amping up quite a bit. There’s a new feeling in the air…This is new territory, so I have no idea what to expect… I don’t mind at all, as long as I can stay out of pain 🙂

Love ❤

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Heart

Energy Sensations – Update January 6, 2014

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freedom

 

I haven’t felt motivated to write anything in a while…Not too much has happened since my last post with the exception of December 27th; I got hit with a huge amount of energy…Right after I woke up in the morning, I got dizzy, couldn’t focus my eyes, had a weird pressure sensation in my solar plexus which caused extreme anxiety, and nerves started twitching all over my body in different locations.

I felt like I was having a panic attack. I took some anxiety medication and stayed in bed all day…There’s no way I would have been able to rest if I hadn’t taken the medication, because this sensation was just too strong. I felt like my solar plexus was going to explode.

I had strange dreams and visions while I was in and out of sleep all day. I was shown that there were many fragments of myself that were being returned and put together like a puzzle. The way that it was shown to me, was more like shards of glass and all of the jagged glass pieces were brought together and seamlessly melted into one piece. Maybe that’s why I felt so much pressure from my core, because of the added (returning) embodiments?

I also saw a deity sitting on a throne that looked kind of like a female Egyptian deity but was wearing a really exaggerated tall headpiece that I’ve never seen in any Egyptian artwork before. The headpiece was about 4 feet tall and had many layers of gold and multicolored gems/stones on it. It kind of looked like an “Ezelsdorf-Buch golden hat” (but without the rim at the bottom) which is in the picture below, but in my vision it also had jewels on it.

Gold Hat of Berlin

When I got out of bed around 5pm, my body was super hot even though it didn’t read on the thermometer. My boyfriend scanned my energy with his hand and said that the heat was coming out of the area of my solar plexus. He also said that he saw a bright white orb on my shoulder. I also keep seeing a blue orb on my left side and I’m starting to think that it’s always around me since I see it so much. Maybe it’s a guardian?

Later, when my boyfriend went to plug in the Christmas tree lights, he had barely grabbed the plug in his hand and the lights flickered on! He hadn’t even touched the plug anywhere near the plug outlet in the wall, so the lights went on from his own energy! I was convinced that something big was going on energetically on the 27th but I haven’t read anything about it yet.

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I had a strange dream on Jan. 3rd. In the dream I was laying down on a bed in a brightly lit room and started to close my eyes to meditate. Once my eyes were closed, I started to see a blue background with one single white cloud in the middle of it. In my mind I was asking for some guidance and big capital blue letters popped up into the cloud that spelled the word “FLEE”.

Flee

I was confused by this message and asked again for some guidance and then a bunch of blue words in another language popped up into the cloud…I couldn’t understand what the words said, so I asked for guidance one more time…the cloud started moving and contracting, and then completely went away. I have NO IDEA what this is supposed to mean. Flee pretty much means to get out quickly, but does it mean for me to get out of Arizona? I guess we’ll find out here pretty soon! I always thought of the word Flee as an urgency to get away from danger.  I don’t really believe in doom and gloom stuff, so maybe I’ll find another meaning or connection later…

~***~

Energy Sensations

As for energy sensations, I went through a couple of weeks of feeling the “hot spots” (random electrical pulse sensations) everyday on my body (which were pretty painful). I haven’t felt any in a while, so I’m really glad that’s over with. The pulse in my tongue has been very subtle to the point that I can hardly feel it anymore, but I can tell that it’s still there. My Crown has been really active and the movement on it feels heavier…something has changed with my Crown but I haven’t quite figured it out yet…

For the past few weeks, I’d been having crazy dreams about people being mean to me and doing hurtful things. Most of it was little petty stuff (like people at my old job or small arguments with friends), but the dreams have been very stressful. I’ve spent so much time clearing the really big traumatic experiences in the last year, that I hadn’t really paid attention to the little things. These dreams have showed me that it’s important for me to focus on clearing the little petty stuff too…

new energy

When I woke up in the morning a few days ago, I felt a strong pulse coming out of my Heart center…it was almost like an up and down sensation that tickled a little bit (the picture above reminds me of the energies). It felt really good. After that, my upper back was vibrating for a couple of days, so I’m guessing that I’ve had a deeper activation of the Heart center.  I’ve also been feeling a subtle sensation in my throat like it’s closing up…it’s not overwhelming, but it does get a bit uncomfortable at times.  I’m thinking that it has to do with this Heart center activation.  In the past, the High Heart activations have also affected my throat.

Since this deeper Heart center activation, I had been a little emotional and had no idea why I felt that way. I’ve just been resting and had been trying not to focus on anything. Today something feels different… my inner guidance has shown me a picture of training wheels…the message that I’m getting is that I’ve gone through a whirlwind of emotions coming up over the last few weeks from past experiences and am now using my training wheels to “rewrite” these past issues. I really have no idea how I’m supposed to “rewrite” this stuff… but I’m being shown not to “think” about how to do it, and that if I just “feel” (as in a surrendering kind of way), then I will be shown or guided how to do it.

So this seems to be the theme for January…another phase of releasing, but with more ease and in more of a flowing nature. This phase will serve as a sort of training to more easily (but very thoroughly) transform whatever it is that comes up from deep (I’m being shown VERY deep) within. It seems that we’ve come to a high enough vibration to be able to start using this upgrade in transformation. There’s a little bit of confidence that came in today and I’m buzzing with a new “secure” type feeling…it’s very difficult to explain, but it feels really good. It’s very powerful, whatever it is…

For the first time in quite a while, I have the confidence to move out of my boyfriend’s house and am getting a little push to finally go (and to completely let go). I need to get moving… Something has changed within me that has restored the confidence and security to move forward. There’s a sense of excitement and a trust that everything will not only be “ok”, but it will be even better than I imagined. I’m planning to completely move out at the end of February…I just need to get these “training wheels” going so that I can move myself into a balanced state 🙂
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TrainingWheels

Love ❤

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