Tag Archives: Healing

Taming The Demon

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darkness

You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed – Antoine de Saint-Exupery – The Little Prince

“Taming the Demon”

If I would have read a title like this 6 years ago, I would probably feel a knot in my stomach while reading it. I had to ask myself why such things, words, or sometimes numbers, make me feel uncomfortable. What I discovered was that it was all due to programming from society, the people around me and their view of good and bad, light and dark…but what do I really feel from my own experience?

I was originally going to name this blog “Taming the Cyclops” but decided to change it…This posting is about a dream that I had that seemed to be the beginning of several dreams over the last few years that  all revealed the same message.

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About 6 years ago I had a strange dream that helped to change my view of demons, monsters and nightmares. In the dream I was visiting my younger cousin Greg at his home. We ended up going to the shopping mall to have some lunch. I placed my personal belongings on a table in the food court, to show people that we were going to sit there and to save the table for us.

I went to order food and when I came back to the table, there were 3 men sitting in the space I had chosen. They appeared to be laborers or construction workers.  The men carelessly put their lunch right on top of my personal belongings, just totally disregarding that someone else might be sitting there.

I told one of the men that we were going to sit there and explained why all of my stuff was on the table. He ignored me and continued to eat. After a while of trying to get a response from him, I proceeded to gather my belongings from the table and in the process, had to move his food to get my stuff from under it. The man was FURIOUS…he quickly and forcefully stood up in front of me and began to yell and scream in my face.  As he was screaming, he began to morph into a huge Cyclops monster.

cyclops

The man’s body expanded as he grew taller and more muscular.  He began to aggressively growl and foam at the mouth and his teeth were razor sharp and glaring like a wild animal.  I could feel the humidity of his hot breath on my face.

To my surprise, I was not afraid. I stood right up to him and stared into his single eye. I began to forcefully yell at him and told him that he was being absolutely ridiculous…that he was letting his anger turn him into a demon. “STOP IT NOW!” …”DON’T YOU REALIZE THAT YOU’RE ALLOWING YOUR EMOTIONS TO CONTROL YOU?!”…”YOUR EMOTIONS ARE TURNING YOU INTO A MONSTER” …”LOOK AT YOURSELF!!!”

As I was shouting these words, I could feel a release from my core, there was such power behind it. My words seemed to slowly calm him down and he just continued to breathe heavily while I stared into his eye. My staring into his eye seemed to have a hypnotizing effect on him. Even though he calmed down, he didn’t turn back into a man, he stayed as a Cyclops, but his anger slowly dissipated. I was somehow able to tame him.

This is where the dream is kind of hazy…I don’t remember parts of it.  The dream somehow shifted to the Cyclops giving us a ride home. I’m not sure how that came about, but I somehow influenced him to do it.

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He had an old beat-up white pick-up truck and we sat in the back of the truck while he drove us home.

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Outside of the mall, it looked like a small Middle Eastern city and I could feel the dry heat of the desert air.  The air was thick and dusty and I could feel the warmth of the sun shining down on my skin.

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We drove past a small marketplace of old buildings, shades of turquoise and blue, paint peeling off of the tattered walls. I could hear Arabic type music playing in the background.

As the Cyclops continued to drive us home, he kept slamming on his brakes and sharply turning corners so that we would tumble around in the back of the truck…he thought it was HILARIOUS and I could hear his deep belly laugh as he watched us with his single eye in the rear view mirror. I just told my cousin to ignore him and that we’d be home soon….

The Cyclops kept laughing so hard, such a joyful laugh, that it was contagious…It triggered my own laughter and as I began to laugh, then my cousin started to laugh. My cousin and I tumbling around in the back of the truck laughing hysterically…then I woke up…

Later when I thought about the dream, I realized that it was showing me that these monsters are created by ourselves…they are the creation of our own anger and emotions. When I told the Cyclops to stop being so ridiculous, he seemed to snap out of his rage and calm down…his behavior was now in his awareness…

At the end of the dream when we were all laughing, it showed me that I had brought joy to this monster that at one point wanted to rip me to shreds. By taming him and not trying to destroy or kill him, I had somehow healed a part of myself by bringing awareness to it and not trying to fight against it.

Something inside of me has changed as a result of this light shone in the deeply hidden darkness…there is a sense of unconditional Love and understanding for even the darkest aspects…realizing that it’s not an outside force, but merely a part of myself that just needed acknowledgment, acceptance for what it is, and forgiveness…

In resolution and graduation from the astral realm, we will take parts of ourselves that are not perfect…It’s the acknowledgement and acceptance of these parts of self that will allow the healing and release to the higher realms.  In my personal experience, we do not leave them behind…

We merely transcend them with Loving/Freeing recognition.

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LOVE ❤

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Energy Sensations – Update February 5, 2016

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The last time I posted anything on this blog was back in August…I was living at my Dad’s house (in California) in a VERY difficult living situation, and going back and forth to my (ex)boyfriend’s house(in Arizona) in an attempt to run away from my problems. A lot has changed since then…It feels like someone has pushed the “fast-forward” button on my life and it’s all just a blur when I think about it.

So much has happened in such a short amount of “time”. It’s almost as if I was required to totally and completely uproot my life and discard all of the parts that were not healthy for me to experience any longer. And that’s exactly what has happened…I have eliminated all of the unhealthy aspects of my life, all of the things that were stagnant or an uncomfortable-comfort-zone…It all quickly unfolded (like a domino effect) before the beginning of 2016.

This has been an extremely bizarre period of “Revelation” for me…Some very hurtful things had to happen in order for me to be jolted out of my comfort zone. Sort of like a spiritual kick-in-the ass to get me going again…I saw some very dark and disturbing things about people who were close to me….people I trusted…all was exposed for everyone to see…no more lies, no more deceit.

It took me a while to reach a place of stillness where I could reflect on what happened on a much deeper level…the visuals that I received were of “release” of cords, looping, outdated patterns of “karma”, breaking free of that old cycle…

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The karma no longer applies, but sometimes it takes the personality a while to catch up and integrate this realization. The (true) realization initiates a chemical reaction and release on a cellular level…a necessity for authentic transcendence. I had to get out of the mind, out of the illusion, and go within the Heart space to truly understand what this all meant… It takes a lot of focus to truly grasp that we are beyond karma…Old habits can be difficult to break…

So I’ll skip over the negative parts and just sum it up as moving out of my Dad’s house and completely cutting off my (ex) boyfriend after some shocking revelations. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and the revelations were a signal of things coming to an end (closure) on SO many levels. Instead of falling into victim mode, I decided to use it as an empowerment. When I severed all ties, I suddenly felt free again…a huge relief, not realizing how weighed down I was for so many years, until I experienced how light I was again. I somehow feel “whole” again after collecting the parts of self that I had invested in others.

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So in the middle of all of this, I happened to get a job at a resort in Boynton Canyon, Sedona. It was the first job I put in for at a job fair, and I got it right away. They even decided that I’d be a better fit for a higher paying job than the one I was applying for, so it just seemed to fall into place.

enchantment

I was working in a BEAUTIFUL canyon that was full of people who were spiritually awake and totally understood what I was going through. For the first time in my life, I felt so connected to everything.  Especially with nature.

While working in the Boynton Canyon vortex for 8 hours a day, I started to experience heightened psychic and telepathic abilities (it freaked out some of my co-workers – lol). I was getting huge Crown downloads every day and had to go outside to ground several times a day, because I was out of body most of the time. It was very difficult for me to stay grounded.

The first week I was there, I would receive so much energy, that it would collect in my solar plexus and would feel like a panic attack. It was like a multidimensional merge that would cause me to feel like too many things were happening all at the same time. It took me a while to figure it out, but I found that if I went outside, took my shoes off and held some black tourmaline, that I could actually feel the energy forcefully push out of my feet and then I’d get some relief…so that was my daily ritual.

There were days when I’d get full-on bliss episodes while at work, and I’d have to go outside and breathe it out, so I wouldn’t feel like I was hyperventilating. The bliss episodes were so strong, that co-workers could actually feel it if they stood next to me. These bliss downloads would cause a strong sensation of energy shooting out of my Heart center and also my face! That was something new…I had never felt my face light up and beam energy like that before.

I found that energy work is totally amplified in Boynton Canyon, SO much stronger. I was doing some Reiki on a co-worker in the break room, and another co-worker could physically feel the Reiki on the other side of the room. I realized that the energy was shooting out of my hands so hard and so fast, that my arms were shaking and vibrating really hard. The person I was doing the energy work on, said that they’ve never felt it so strong before and that it felt like a very strong wind was blasting completely through them to the other side.

There’s just something about Boynton Canyon that I haven’t felt at the other vortexes or any place I’ve ever been. There seems to be a gateway there, or maybe something multidimensional emerging. Maybe a city of light?

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I can sense it, but cannot quite figure it out yet. Definitely a STRONG presence of ancestors that is very present at this time. The canyon is currently going through some type of purification which I had visions of while I was physically there. I could see and feel it when it was first initiated. I’ll write about those experiences in another post, but I’ll just get to the energy sensations update for now…

ENERGY SENSATIONS

There has been quite a stir in the lymphatic system in the last few months. Many of my co-workers all had the same symptoms. I’ve been going through a period of swollen and overloaded lymph nodes and have been doing a lymphatic cleanse which is very slowly making progress. This is some deep cleansing and I’m feeling like it has to do with dropping density. Doing a cleanse did not produce quick results, and I was shown that it’s because it’s an ongoing process that will take some time to balance out. There is so much going on at the same time and there are no quick fixes here. Patience and self Love is crucial in this phase.

I’ve had lots of activity on my face, head and scalp. Lots of buzzing, twitching and fluttering going on…at times, my face feels like it’s morphing into something else or becoming very liquid and wavy. That usually only happened while in a relaxed state, but lately it’s happening while fully awake and while I’m interacting in public.

My meridian system has been extremely active and I’ve felt the fizzy, effervescent sensation slowly pumping through the channels, but mostly in the legs. It’s spontaneous and happens here and there…no particular trigger for it, just random. Last night I felt it in my upper glute area near my hip bone, and the other day I also felt it in my arms which was something new.

In the past few days, my bones have been aching again. This aching is accompanied by a buzzy feeling coming from the outside of my legs. The pain feels like it’s emanating out of my bones and the buzzing randomly moves around my calves in quick electrical type pulses on my skin. My hip bones and lower back have the painful aching, but it is a tolerable pain…nothing too drastic. Sometimes it feels like my bones are being stretched.

There seems to be a lot of stuff going on with my spine and also the area where my spine connects to my neck/head. The message that I’m getting is that it has to do with merging polarities? I have no idea what that has to do with it, but that’s the answer I received. Maybe something to do with ida/pingala, silver/gold? Those are the images that I’m getting…overall, it has to do with “unification”…some sort of “short-cut” in the process, and a change in the template instructions, for those who are ready…maybe having to do with ability to jump timelines. As usual, it’s too difficult to put into words…

For the past week, I’ve been waking up in the morning and seeing gridlines again. This time, I’m seeing a cardinal cross in the middle of the gridlines.

grid

It seems that the cross is emanating something from it, but I’m not sure what that means. I’ve seen this before, so it’s familiar to me, but I just don’t really understand it.

Overall, the energy sensations have become very active. It’s become the new “norm”. I’ve decided to speak about it more openly, so that people around me will become familiar with it. I don’t care if they think I’m crazy anymore…Someday this will become the new norm for many others, and I hope that when that happens, they will remember when I spoke of it before then…Maybe it will somehow help them to understand and to stay out of fear….

So that’s it…I’m fully out of the closet – lol … No more hiding, no more worrying about what other people may think. The secret’s out…I’m consciously, consciously evolving 😉

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Love ❤

Energy Sensations – Update November 8, 2013

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This is a picture of the X-class flare on November 8, 2013
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On November 3rd, I felt a huge influx of energy come in and the nerves in my teeth and face started twitching again.  It was REALLY strong…Since then, I’ve been hearing a very LOUD, annoying, fluctuating tone in my right ear and I’m starting to get a little grumpy…That’s 5 days of constant ANNOYING tones…it reminds me of the movie Dumb and Dumber when Jim Carey shows someone what he thinks “the most annoying sound in the world” sounds like…

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Yep, that sounds about right – LOL smile1
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It’s so strange though, because I didn’t hear this tone a few weeks back when we had all of those X and M class flares. Why the loud tones now all of a sudden? Now if I add that tone with the lovely scent of dog poop that the wind is bringing in from our annoying neighbors yard, I have a constant reminder that I’m still in 3D 😦

I think it’s best I stay indoors right now while we’re getting pummeled with energies from the sun (and what also feels like Galactic energies)…not a good time for me to be around people, I guess…

I seem to be picking up on the symbolism of “keys” everywhere… It started with having a dream two nights in a row, of me trying to find a key to my home…I was looking everywhere for a single key to open the front door. A few days later, I had a vision of a key being handed to me and it kind of looked like this:

infinity key

I got the message that the infinity symbol had importance in this key. Then I got an image in my mind of an Ankh with an infinity symbol at the top of it (instead of a circle)… I did a little research on the internet and then I found this picture that caught my attention:

Atenrays

It’s like the sun rays are handing you a key (Ankh). I’ll have to do some more research but this seems pretty interesting so far. To be honest, I really don’t know much about either symbol so I guess it’s time to learn what they represent and try to find the connection… The word “key” is popping out at me when I read stuff and is being mentioned in many different blogs and articles lately.

Besides being a little crabby, I’ve also been having some Bliss download episodes here and there…they seem to be coming in at the Crown frequently. Also lots of buzzy vibrating energy on my entire left leg which feels like vibrating molecules…it gives me the sensation like my leg is disappearing, it feels so weird. I also had a large cluster of nerves twitching on the left side of my lower back for a few hours. On Wednesday, I kept seeing a bright blue orb by my face and it was there for hours. It didn’t move anywhere else, it was just in the same exact place and kept flickering in and out of my view.

When I started to fall asleep, I could feel a sensation on my right side underneath my ribs like someone was inserting a large needle very slowly and very deeply into my skin. I’ve felt this before over the years and it’s always in the same location…and it always happens when I’m in that groggy sleepy state where I can’t fully wake up. It stings just like a real needle would feel when I get my blood drawn at the doctor’s office. It doesn’t hurt too much and I just fall back asleep. I wonder if it’s in the area of my liver?

About 5 months ago I found out that my gallbladder was failing and was only working at 12% (normal is 35%). The doctor wanted to remove my gallbladder but I refused. I wanted to try to take natural remedies like teas and supplements first. I recently got a new doctor and he had me do another test to check the gallbladder again…can you believe that the test showed that my gallbladder is completely healed and now working at 40% ?! I think our bodies are releasing so much so quickly that we’ll have lots of disorders come and go in a very short time frame. It’s always good to get a doctor’s opinion, but I would follow your gut feeling if you don’t want to do anything drastic. I also had hypothyroidism last year that corrected itself and my thyroid is working perfectly on it’s own now.

I’m not sure exactly where all of these energies are coming from right now…it feels like it’s so much more than just solar flares to me. These energies feel similar to what I felt on 12/21/12… Whatever’s going on, it’s a pretty potent tsunami of energy. Getting plenty of rest, drinking lots of water and trying to keep my sanity is on my “To Do” list…God grant me the Serenity…Happy surfing !. . . surf

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And I need to get one of these signs for my annoying neighbor:
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Pleeeeze !

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Clearing The Shadows

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Be-still___

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I’ve been immersed in a deep stillness for the past few weeks.  It was difficult to put anything into words so I wasn’t able to write anything for quite a while.  This seems to be a new level of peaceful calm that I’ve never experienced before…it’s even difficult to put into words what it feels like.

~***~

October 8, 2013

Last night something strange happened…when I was trying to go to sleep, I found that I couldn’t actually fall asleep.  I was in some type of “in between” state of consciousness where I was still aware that I was in my bedroom, but I was also somewhere else…almost like I was expanded everywhere.  I kept slipping out of this consciousness because I was feeling a strong pulling sensation on my solar plexus, but I’d immediately fall back into this in between state.  I kept hearing something moving around in the room with me.  I felt like I was in an extreme state of heightened awareness…almost like I could hear things for miles.

This has happened a few times before, but it usually lasts for many hours, sometimes an entire 8 hours worth of sleep time.  When it’s happened in the past, I felt like I didn’t get any sleep at all.  This time I was able to finally fall asleep and have a dream.  This dream was of me clearing shadows.  It was like there were many shadows that were crossing over and I was supervising them.

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I get the feeling that they were agreeing to be transmuted/transcended.  It wasn’t a fight or a struggle, they were actually surrendering because their work was done and their purpose had been served.  It was not about being defeated, it was about being finished with their purpose.

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At the end of the dream, I was in the middle of nowhere in a huge desert.  It looked like New Mexico or Arizona.  It was overcast and dark, kind of gloomy like the lower astral realm.

I was witnessing tall black shadow figures walking off of the land of this huge desert.  They were voluntarily leaving so that they could be transmuted.  There were so many of them coming out of the ground and I got the feeling that they had occupied the land for many generations.  They were the creations of some very dark work…but were now free to leave from the cycle they had been stuck in.  They were not fleeing; they were just walking calmly in slow motion, all of them walking toward the same direction.

The word that I got from witnessing these shadows was “Transcendence”.   The cycle they had served for so long had now come to an end.   It was a mutual agreement and the purpose that they had served for so long had now come to an end…It was done very peacefully…no judgment…I just understood that they were playing a role.

I’m not sure what this all means…Was I witnessing my own clearing or was it something on a much larger scale? If it is larger, maybe I’ll read something about it soon (**see links below)…but I do feel like it’s been done on a very large scale and some very deeply rooted darkness has now been liberated…It’s so strange because I also felt (and still feel) such a peaceful calm around me.  I would think that dealing with such darkness would cause maybe some agitation or nervousness (as it has in the past for me), but I didn’t experience anything other than Peace and balance throughout the whole process.  It was actually very beautiful with a touch of sadness…It’s almost like I felt sorry for them…or maybe I was just picking up on the melancholy vibe?

It might sound corny, but I kept hearing the song “The Air That I Breathe” by the Hollies when I woke from the dream…it keeps playing in my head when I think of the dream now.  I can’t help but laugh…it seems silly to me…

The song is here:

I wrote this blog on October 8th, but felt that I shouldn’t post it right away…I needed some time to settle and see how I felt about it over a period of time…What has happened over the last week is that I came to a better understanding of what “roles” are played in this game of illusion.  I’ve come to a deeper understanding of light and dark.  For the first time, I truly understand (feel) that there is no separation.  It’s very difficult to put into words.

I can’t seem to get that feeling of “sadness” or “melancholy” from the shadow figures out of my mind (Heart)…it’s been continuously playing over and over again and the feeling has stayed with me.  The feeling is settling with me, but it’s changing and getting lighter as each day passes. Maybe it’s integrating?  I don’t know… I apologize for not being able to explain it better since it’s a new feeling and experience for me.  The only thing I can say for certain is that I have a whole new respect for the roles that the shadows have played in the illusion.  The masks have been removed and what I see is a familiar face.

It reminds me of the end of the movie “The Game” when Michael Douglas finds out that everything he had been through was just a game…everyone was just playing a role and he was so relieved that everyone was really his friend not his enemy.

Movie scene can be found here:

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I’ve reached a whole new level of understanding and it feels very good.  The more layers I work through on the inside, the more veils are lifted on the outside. Awareness and realization on a whole new level… My views of this world and everything in it are rapidly changing at an accelerated pace…a little more every day…I’m starting to remember 😉

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Shine

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**After posting this blog, I found an article from Lisa Renee that she posted on October 28, 2013…all I can say is WOW…she explains everything that I witnessed in my lucid dream…WOW – what a sync !… The article can be found here: http://www.energeticsynthesis.com/index.php/resource-tools/blog-timeline-shift/2308-new-physicalization-begins

**I also found an article from Sandra Walter posted on October 25th, 2013.  I really resonated with what she wrote and it seems to tie in with what I’ve written.  The article can be found here: http://www.sandrawalter.com/the-silence-the-stream-the-fractal/#comments

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Love ❤

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Faith.ism

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I woke up on Monday morning to the word “Fideistic” presented in front of me…I thought for sure that it couldn’t possibly be a real word, but it actually is!  I honestly have never heard of this word before…just looking at it seems like it’s spelled incorrectly…it’s a form of the word “Fideism” – fi′de•ist, n. fi`de•is′tic, adj. 

Fideism: “Fideism” is the name given to that school of thought—to which Tertullian himself is frequently said to have subscribed—which answers that faith is in some sense independent of, if not outright adversarial toward, reason. In contrast to the more rationalistic tradition of natural theology, with its arguments for the existence of God, fideism holds—or at any rate appears to hold (more on this caveat shortly)—that reason is unnecessary and inappropriate for the exercise and justification of religious belief. The term itself derives from fides, the Latin word for faith, and can be rendered literally as faith-ism. “Fideism” is thus to be understood not as a synonym for “religious belief,” but as denoting a particular philosophical account of faith’s appropriate jurisdiction vis-a-vis that of reason.

The whole page can be found here: http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/fideism/

I got an email yesterday from an astrology site that I follow.  They were (sarcastically) saying that the Star of David /Merkaba alignment on July 29th was not true and that there was no proof that it was happening.  I wasn’t sure how I felt about that at first, but I came to the conclusion that it’s all due to two things; DIFFERENT TIMELINES – DIFFERENT VIBRATIONS.  Is it right or wrong? No, just different timelines different vibrations…each scenerio is very real in what each individual is choosing to create.

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I found a website that explained different timelines in a way that I could understand this.  A quote from this website:

“There is a sense of disorientation in regard to world events, a feeling of walking between worlds, with much of our dreamtime consciousness engaged in building a new world, shaping it with our highest intentions, and outpicturing it into the collective as a timeline of new possibilities. Many of us are engaged, not so much in resisting or attempting to make sense of an old paradigm in its final dance of death, but in visioning the new world rising from the ashes of the old. As we travel deeper into fourth dimensional time, the same events will be experienced very differently in different timelines.” 

The whole article can be found here: http://www.halexandria.org/dward409.htm

So is this where I apply the word “Fideistic” ?  I guess I have to step back and ask myself “What do you believe in?”   “What are you creating?”  Are they not the same thing? In the long run, I can only go by what my feelings and intuition tells me.  Other people might say that there’s no scientific proof, or outward proof that this is happening, but what do I feel inside?

I’m sure there are millions of people out there that say that there’s no way Reiki can heal a person…but of course, I know that it really does work…I’ve seen many miracles happen with energy healing…and I physically feel the energy coming in at the Crown and pouring out of my hands…In fact, in this last Reiki Tummo workshop I went to last month, there was a huge healing that took place during the class.  A young lady had a back problem for 10 yrs and she said she was in pain every single day.  When we did the group healing on the shushumna (without physically touching her, only channeling the energy to her), she said she physically felt and heard her spine making cracking and popping noises as if it were decompressing.  When she got up from the table and sat down in her chair, she realized her pain was gone.  She broke down and started to cry because she was SO grateful.  I’ve also witnessed rapid healing from Reiki on a pneumonia patient which left the doctor totally baffled by the test results (a friend of mine in a coma in the hospital) and category 4 cervical cancer/lymphoma patient going completely into remission for over 6 years so far ( a family member).

I feel that for this very reason, the word Fideistic was presented to me to remind myself that what I truly believe in, no matter what others might think or say, is what I will create…Letting go of the old way of “thinking” can be very difficult.  That’s why it’s so important to strengthen your inner Heart to “feel” what your brain cannot.

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Believe

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Sedona5

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BluRose

LOVE ❤