Tag Archives: Gtummo

The Awakening ~ Part 1

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awakening gif

The Awakening ~

When I first had my Kundalini awakening, I had absolutely NO IDEA what had happened or what I was feeling afterward.  The force of it blew me completely out of my body and I was suddenly in another realm.  I passed through the black void of nothingness  until I saw the essence of the Red Mahakala swirling around in the darkness. It looked like red smoke that formed into the face.

I had to pass through the Mahakala to enter the next realm. In this realm, out of the darkness, a beautiful swirling galaxy appeared before me. The stars seemed to have white and pinkish colors sparkling as the galaxy spiraled in motion (I had never seen the movie “Contact” at this point, but years later when I saw it, it brought tears to my eyes when Jodie Foster saw the Galaxy in the other realm).

I just stared at how profound and beautiful this Galaxy was, until I saw a disembodied face with a tall headpiece (like the Thai Buddha statues) appear before me. It came from the left side of my view.

The face was animated and had a violet/pink color emanating from it and I realized that the face was me!  It stared at me for a while, smiled and winked at me and then I was pulled back into this realm where my physical body was.

Once I came back to my body, all of my chakras were completely blown wide open.  As a result, I was feeling a swaying and tickling sensation on the top of my head (Crown) and in the middle of my chest (Heart Center). I was also seeing symbols floating in the air around me and would begin to see gridlines.  I would spend a lot of time staring at the top of my head, in the mirror, trying to figure out why I could feel it moving, but couldn’t see anything moving lol

Long story short, I eventually got on Google (aka my Guru – lol) and searched “feeling movement on the top of my head” and found information about chakras which led me to the info about Kundalini. Until then, I had no clue what a chakra or Kundalini was and didn’t know (remember) anything about Buddhism.   I did find a lot of stuff that would talk about “Spiritual Emergency” and about some people not being ready for Kundalini and having all sorts of problems.  After extensive research, I decided that the best thing for me to do was to remove as many blocks as I could, and to learn how to work with this force that had completely ripped through my body.

I did a lot of comparison and decided to attend some Reiki Tummo workshops mainly because they worked with the Kundalini energy, removed chakra knots, widened the shushumna and also because they are very focused on strengthening the Heart Center.  I knew I would really need to work on my Heart because I had a lot of childhood trauma and had been in protection-mode for most of my life.

I had been sent to Pennsylvania for a work related 4 month detail when I had my awakening. During this time, I was conducting an investigation on a facility in Reading.  The closest workshop that I found was in Maryland…so within the first month of my awakening, I signed up and took the 3 hour drive to attend the workshop.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into but I felt really good about my decision.

The Attunement (Initiation) ~

The house that the workshop was held at was SO beautiful.  It just felt so mystical with beautiful spiritual artwork, crystals and art pieces from other countries throughout the home.  There was a strong presence of Divine Feminine energy.  When I looked out into the backyard, there was a forest of tall thin aspen trees and everything was white and glistening from the recent snow.  The owner had Husky dogs with white eyes that greeted me at the patio doors as I was staring into the forest in awe.

We all sat in the basement as we listened to Carlos Nakai flute music and were surrounded by the soft scent of sandalwood incense.  They were very respectful and required that everyone be very quiet which made the whole experience feel so sacred. When we had the initial group attunement, I felt a massive amount of Blissful liquid energy forcefully pouring into the top of my head.  It was so strong that it caused my head to move in a circular spiral motion.  When I opened my eyes and looked around the room I could see other people moving in a circular spiral motion too.  There were some advanced practitioners who actually had huge smiles on their faces and had their eyes rolled back into their head as they were spiraling !  I’m not kidding, their eyes were completely white!  They were so overtaken with Bliss from the attunement.

During part of the workshop, in small groups, we would all stand around a person lying on the table, and would all channel energy to the person on the table.  The point and intention of this practice was to open the person’s shushumna and to clear/widen the pathway. As I was channeling the energy through my hands, I felt it start to shoot out of my Heart Center.  It was such a beautiful feeling to have this Divine energy coursing through my Heart.  It felt like a pumping motion as it was pouring out.  I was surprised when one of the instructors came close to my ear and softly whispered “Yes, that’s it…use your Heart”.  It was then that I realized that she could actually see everything that I was feeling.

At times during the workshop, I felt out of place because everyone was so patient and Loving and I wasn’t used to being around people like that.  I was still working in law enforcement and had been pretty hardened by my environment.  I knew that I had a lot of work to do and probably one of the most difficult things that I’ve had to work through was getting over the feeling of not being worthy or not good enough to experience this Divine energy.  I guess growing up around Catholics will do that to you…haha

The Clearing ~

After the class, I took the 3 hour drive back to Pennsylvania.  When I got to my hotel room, I cried the entire night.  The initial cleansing process from such a huge influx of energy was brutal!  Before I ended up falling asleep, I asked ‘God’ why I was chosen to experience this and said that I felt that I wasn’t worthy because I had so much negativity from my life. As I was falling asleep and was in that in-between state, I felt something hug/envelope my body and stroke my face in comfort. It lulled me to sleep.

I remember waking up a few times throughout the night and would see symbols flashing one after another in the air above me.  I was getting some type of download.  Many years later, I saw a video where Lisa Renee called this type of download a “ticker tape” download.  That’s a perfect explanation of what I experienced that night…symbol after symbol flashing one after another for several hours.

Early in the morning when I woke up, I saw a little bright blue orb fluttering around in front of my face.  It had little sparkles coming off of it that looked like pixie dust and it landed on my pillow in front of me as it slowly faded out of sight.

Because of the massive cleansing that I was going through from the attunement, I couldn’t attend the 2nd class that was scheduled the next day.  I ended up staying in bed crying the whole weekend.  I had lots of weird stuff happen during those 2 days in bed going in and out of sleep.  I remember that I had a painting on the wall next to my bed and it was of a lake with a tree next to it, on a sunny day.  One time when I woke from sleep, the painting was of the same lake and tree, only it was winter and snowing!  The symbols continued to download and I continued to feel something stroking my face and arm in comfort.

I rescheduled the 2nd class for a month later, but the only one available was at a totally different location in Pennsylvania.  This class would be with a different group of people.  I’ll write about that experience in another post.

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Love ❤

 

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Energy Sensations – Update September 16, 2013

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GTummo

My Kundalini fired up yesterday.  Out of nowhere, I felt the Tummo fire move up to the back of my neck.  I was taught in my Reiki Tummo class to stand against the wall to straighten up my spine so that the Tummo could move more freely, so I did that.  It hasn’t been too often that this has happened randomly while I’m awake, so I made sure I made the most of it. It lasted for about twenty minutes. The Tummo fire will rapidly burn off impurities and accelerate the purification process.  I’ll take all the help I can get ! 😉

Had a strange dream last night…In the dream I was outside looking around because I heard some noise and I realized there were thousands of black helicopters hovering in the sky.  I had a childhood friend with me and I pointed the helicopters out to him so he would look.  We were amazed at the sight of the entire sky filled with them.  As we were looking, I noticed that trees were falling over in the distance…then noticed that a tsunami was coming toward us near a mountain in the distance.

I remember telling him not to worry because as long as he was with me, nothing would happen to him. The tsunami was gaining speed and I could see a huge wall of water rising up into the sky coming toward us.  I pulled him by his arm and we ran as fast as we could into the house…we were able to slam the door just before the water touched us. The tsunami wiped out  everything around us but not the house we were in, we were safe there.  I knew in the dream that I had control over whatever it was that was happening…it’s like I was aware that it was just an illusion.  The rest of the dream was spent trying to pack our stuff to leave the area.

There seems to be a theme with strong forces of water for me lately.  I’m seeing this everywhere and now it’s in my dreams too. First with my dream of the water rushing through my Shushumna and now this dream about the tsunami… I’ve also been seeing a theme of mirrors or things mirroring itself (number sequences, symbolism in movies etc)…and also gold and silver are playing a large part in my reality. I read somewhere that gold represents the masculine and silver represents the feminine, sun and moon, Ida and Pingala…

When I was a teenager I remember I had a dream that I fell off of a sinking ship in the middle of the sea.  The sky was pitch black with just a faint soft glow from the moon.  I was floating in the water trying to find something to hold on to and I saw something illuminated moving toward me from a distance.  When it got closer to me, I realized that it was two illuminated snakes fighting with each other in the water.  One snake was gold and the other one was silver.  They were fighting and twirling around each other with an electrical current emanating from them.  The feeling from the dream stayed with me throughout the years and I’ve always remembered it like if it happened yesterday.

I found this picture many years later and it reminds me of the dream:

snakes

There seems to be so much more to this with the water, mirrors, gold and silver…I just can’t quite figure it out.  Like something’s brewing up inside of me and one day I’ll just have this profound realization of what it all means.  It feels like there’s a faint memory but I can’t quite grasp it.

My 3rd eye has been more active in the last couple of weeks.  I woke up one morning seeing what I call the “turtle shell energy”.  It looks like this:

turtle shell

I’ve seen it a few times but I have no idea what it is.  When I see it, it looks like white illuminated odd shaped circles within circles all forming a pattern.

The next day I woke up to seeing the “molecule” energy all around me.  It reminds me of the TV screen when you lose connection and it looks like snow.  It looks like this:

Snow

Since then I’ve seen the regular gridlines and some bright blue orbs.  I’ve also seen my aura flickering like if there’s light emanating out of me flickering outward on a large scale.  The flickering light has happened quite a bit lately.  Sometimes I see it with my eyes closed too…

I’ve been seeing 12:12 everywhere quite frequently.  I even weighed myself two days in a row and my digital scale said I weighed 121.2…also continuing to see 555 and 222 everywhere.  Things have been pretty calm and I’m still able to stay centered and balanced.  I don’t even get mad at my boyfriend anymore (which is a miracle in itself – LOL).  It wasn’t until my life became so calm that I realized just how chaotic it used to be (especially working in law enforcement).  I would never be able to go back to that life…my physical body wouldn’t be able to handle the stress anymore.  It’s like, you don’t realize that you’ve had a knot in your stomach for most of your life until the knot is gone.  Why was I so afraid of change…why didn’t I do this sooner?

Sometimes I fantasize about living in a monastery and devoting the rest of my life to studying Buddhist texts…but I know in my Heart that it’s not what I’m here for this time.  Sometimes we long for what’s comfortable for us and sometimes what’s comfortable for us is what we’ve already done.  That time has passed for me and it’s time for something new.  I’m just not sure what that is yet…I trust that the Universe will lead me in the right direction…

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Love ❤

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