Tag Archives: Awakening

The Awakening ~ Part 1

Standard

awakening gif

The Awakening ~

When I first had my Kundalini awakening, I had absolutely NO IDEA what had happened or what I was feeling afterward.  The force of it blew me completely out of my body and I was suddenly in another realm.  I passed through the black void of nothingness  until I saw the essence of the Red Mahakala swirling around in the darkness. It looked like red smoke that formed into the face.

I had to pass through the Mahakala to enter the next realm. In this realm, out of the darkness, a beautiful swirling galaxy appeared before me. The stars seemed to have white and pinkish colors sparkling as the galaxy spiraled in motion (I had never seen the movie “Contact” at this point, but years later when I saw it, it brought tears to my eyes when Jodie Foster saw the Galaxy in the other realm).

I just stared at how profound and beautiful this Galaxy was, until I saw a disembodied face with a tall headpiece (like the Thai Buddha statues) appear before me. It came from the left side of my view.

The face was animated and had a violet/pink color emanating from it and I realized that the face was me!  It stared at me for a while, smiled and winked at me and then I was pulled back into this realm where my physical body was.

Once I came back to my body, all of my chakras were completely blown wide open.  As a result, I was feeling a swaying and tickling sensation on the top of my head (Crown) and in the middle of my chest (Heart Center). I was also seeing symbols floating in the air around me and would begin to see gridlines.  I would spend a lot of time staring at the top of my head, in the mirror, trying to figure out why I could feel it moving, but couldn’t see anything moving lol

Long story short, I eventually got on Google (aka my Guru – lol) and searched “feeling movement on the top of my head” and found information about chakras which led me to the info about Kundalini. Until then, I had no clue what a chakra or Kundalini was and didn’t know (remember) anything about Buddhism.   I did find a lot of stuff that would talk about “Spiritual Emergency” and about some people not being ready for Kundalini and having all sorts of problems.  After extensive research, I decided that the best thing for me to do was to remove as many blocks as I could, and to learn how to work with this force that had completely ripped through my body.

I did a lot of comparison and decided to attend some Reiki Tummo workshops mainly because they worked with the Kundalini energy, removed chakra knots, widened the shushumna and also because they are very focused on strengthening the Heart Center.  I knew I would really need to work on my Heart because I had a lot of childhood trauma and had been in protection-mode for most of my life.

I had been sent to Pennsylvania for a work related 4 month detail when I had my awakening. During this time, I was conducting an investigation on a facility in Reading.  The closest workshop that I found was in Maryland…so within the first month of my awakening, I signed up and took the 3 hour drive to attend the workshop.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into but I felt really good about my decision.

The Attunement (Initiation) ~

The house that the workshop was held at was SO beautiful.  It just felt so mystical with beautiful spiritual artwork, crystals and art pieces from other countries throughout the home.  There was a strong presence of Divine Feminine energy.  When I looked out into the backyard, there was a forest of tall thin aspen trees and everything was white and glistening from the recent snow.  The owner had Husky dogs with white eyes that greeted me at the patio doors as I was staring into the forest in awe.

We all sat in the basement as we listened to Carlos Nakai flute music and were surrounded by the soft scent of sandalwood incense.  They were very respectful and required that everyone be very quiet which made the whole experience feel so sacred. When we had the initial group attunement, I felt a massive amount of Blissful liquid energy forcefully pouring into the top of my head.  It was so strong that it caused my head to move in a circular spiral motion.  When I opened my eyes and looked around the room I could see other people moving in a circular spiral motion too.  There were some advanced practitioners who actually had huge smiles on their faces and had their eyes rolled back into their head as they were spiraling !  I’m not kidding, their eyes were completely white!  They were so overtaken with Bliss from the attunement.

During part of the workshop, in small groups, we would all stand around a person lying on the table, and would all channel energy to the person on the table.  The point and intention of this practice was to open the person’s shushumna and to clear/widen the pathway. As I was channeling the energy through my hands, I felt it start to shoot out of my Heart Center.  It was such a beautiful feeling to have this Divine energy coursing through my Heart.  It felt like a pumping motion as it was pouring out.  I was surprised when one of the instructors came close to my ear and softly whispered “Yes, that’s it…use your Heart”.  It was then that I realized that she could actually see everything that I was feeling.

At times during the workshop, I felt out of place because everyone was so patient and Loving and I wasn’t used to being around people like that.  I was still working in law enforcement and had been pretty hardened by my environment.  I knew that I had a lot of work to do and probably one of the most difficult things that I’ve had to work through was getting over the feeling of not being worthy or not good enough to experience this Divine energy.  I guess growing up around Catholics will do that to you…haha

The Clearing ~

After the class, I took the 3 hour drive back to Pennsylvania.  When I got to my hotel room, I cried the entire night.  The initial cleansing process from such a huge influx of energy was brutal!  Before I ended up falling asleep, I asked ‘God’ why I was chosen to experience this and said that I felt that I wasn’t worthy because I had so much negativity from my life. As I was falling asleep and was in that in-between state, I felt something hug/envelope my body and stroke my face in comfort. It lulled me to sleep.

I remember waking up a few times throughout the night and would see symbols flashing one after another in the air above me.  I was getting some type of download.  Many years later, I saw a video where Lisa Renee called this type of download a “ticker tape” download.  That’s a perfect explanation of what I experienced that night…symbol after symbol flashing one after another for several hours.

Early in the morning when I woke up, I saw a little bright blue orb fluttering around in front of my face.  It had little sparkles coming off of it that looked like pixie dust and it landed on my pillow in front of me as it slowly faded out of sight.

Because of the massive cleansing that I was going through from the attunement, I couldn’t attend the 2nd class that was scheduled the next day.  I ended up staying in bed crying the whole weekend.  I had lots of weird stuff happen during those 2 days in bed going in and out of sleep.  I remember that I had a painting on the wall next to my bed and it was of a lake with a tree next to it, on a sunny day.  One time when I woke from sleep, the painting was of the same lake and tree, only it was winter and snowing!  The symbols continued to download and I continued to feel something stroking my face and arm in comfort.

I rescheduled the 2nd class for a month later, but the only one available was at a totally different location in Pennsylvania.  This class would be with a different group of people.  I’ll write about that experience in another post.

.

Love ❤

 

.

 

.

Ignition

Standard

Godself

Godself ~ Painting by Alex Grey

“Every person is an aspect of one Godself” – Alex Grey

July 29, 2016

I really haven’t felt like posting anything for quite a while.  I’ve been writing in my journal, but just not feeling like sharing, I guess…Something happened yesterday that really affected me and I feel like it was a pretty big shift, so I felt inspired to write about it.

Yesterday something happened that drew so much energy and emotion, that it felt like it combusted.  It started while I was driving home from the store and I got this realization that hit me like a ton of bricks…I realized that I am what we call “God”…I chose my life before I was even born…I am a facet of the Creator, and if I am the Creator, then why in the world am I agreeing to play this stupid game any longer? It actually kind of pissed me off – lol

I’ve always known this to be true, but this realization was different…it’s like something awakened inside of me and I actually felt it in every cell in my body.  I guess I can say that it’s like I embodied/integrated the realization and it started triggering anger…anger because I was blindly participating in something that I didn’t need to be a part of anymore.  Everything started to flash in my mind and I was suddenly seeing my entire life.

It got me to thinking that I have experienced quite a bit of suffering in this lifetime; physical abuse, family issues, homelessness, birth defects, health problems, chronic allergies, EMF hypersensitivity etc…and although I’ve evolved throughout the years, I’m still experiencing difficulty with most of those issues.

So why am I agreeing to this crap?!  Why am I agreeing to participate day-after-day-after-day to allow this illusion to continue to exist?

I started to question everything; what about karma? Isn’t that like a set of rules made up by another person?  Who decided that humans would have to participate in karma?  And what about genetics?  My family has a long list of health issues so I will most likely have them too?  Who decided that? (my doctor told me the other day that I will most likely have osteoporosis because it runs in my family – Huh?! )  What if I don’t agree to that?  What if I know and believe that I can and will change that?  The more questions flooded in, the more agitated I became…but I just allowed myself to delve deep into these feelings and bring them to the surface.

When I got home, I waited until everyone left and I was home alone…then I looked into the mirror, looked directly into my eyes and began to yell.

Reflection

I started with “Hey YOU…I’m talking to YOU, not some outside source or a God sitting on a throne in some distant place, I’m talking to YOU…the one who created this life”.

I yelled to myself that since “I” was responsible for the circumstances in my life, since I chose all of this before I was even born, then “I” was putting my foot down and refusing to participate any longer.

I was angry.  WHO would choose this crap?!  Why would anyone or anything choose suffering or set it up so that a helpless child HAS TO suffer from the very start of their life with circumstances beyond their control?  “I” chose this?

I let it all out and demanded that things change in my life and environment or I will “opt-out’ because I’m SO worn out…I said I was tired and beat-up and physically/emotionally exhausted…and I refused to participate in this stupid game any longer.

I had done the work, handed over full trust to this process, activated dormant chakras, forgiven, cleared, released, cleared again and again, embodied, integrated, anchored, transformed, transmuted, transfigured, transcended…ALL of the T’s….but after all of that, I still had pain and suffering, and now I’d hit rock bottom.  I was consciously putting my foot down.  NO MORE PAIN AND SUFFERING.

After screaming at my reflection and letting it all out, I felt so much better.  The rush of emotion seemed to clear and I was able to calm down.  It felt like a huge release of pressure from my core…like a volcano erupting.  A while later, once I became calm again and was able to get centered, I tuned in to what I had just experienced.  I was able to understand what had happened.

I realized that my emotional outburst was a huge shift in my energetic field and a substantial release…another tier in the awakening stratum (I didn’t even know what the word stratum meant, but it popped into my mind) .  Revolutionary anger is always a sign of change in the making….lol   And that is a reflection in the outer world today…and now, a revolution within my own body as well…Ahhh…

This was a huge catalyst that was igniting a transformation from within.  The images that I received were of flames combusting and igniting other flames.

flame

This is the beginning of many coming into their own true power (consciously).  Not the kind of power as in wars and control, but the exact opposite of that.  This is the uprising of Unconditional Love, protection and security…the security to fully awaken with full support and understanding.  The security to release all of the programming.

Sometimes it’s not that we need protection from the “bad guys”(illusions)….sometimes we need protection from ourselves(creators)…from our programming of self sabotage and actions due to habit…from our belief systems, from societal conditioning.  It just takes one person to guide another through that and to bring it to awareness…to ignite the flame.

~***~

Today there is a new sense of confidence, of being stronger and a “knowing” that all is in the process of transformation.  Change is inevitable…I choose to believe that things will change, that in that moment of looking in the mirror, they have already been changed.

So…”Hey YOU, the one that created this life…I choose CHANGE.”

.

And so it is 🙂

reflection

                Macy Kate Band -“Imagine Dragons – Radioactive” cover (Click HERE for lyrics)

.

**After writing this, I found some posts that were a confirmation to this recent experience…awesome sync! :

Posted July 30th-Ronna Herman – Open Letter to Ascending Starseed Souls

Posted July 31st-The Rainbow Scribe – Hilarion July 31st to August 6th

Posted Aug.3rd -Jenny Schiltz – Moving Beyond Limitations

Posted on Aug.4th-Jamye Price –August Ascension Energies 2016

** ❤ Jenny Schiltz – Channeling the Masters – Way Down We Go ❤ **

**And on Aug.16th from Lee Harris’ Facebook page he says:

“Never more than now are many of you looking to draw something good to yourselves. Many of you have bargained with your higher selves or the Universe saying you cannot go on unless you are given something to help keep you afloat.

If this is you, the something you need is you. For some of you, meeting yourself will be the hardest meeting you will ever have because for so long you have been defining yourself by everyone else. But now you have come back to yourself and you are feeling more. Pandora’s Box has been opened.

It is a little like opening the cupboard in the back of your house that you have not looked in for twenty years. You find some wonderful things you had forgotten. You find some unexpected things you are surprised you kept. Many of you have a violent physical reaction to the dust. [Audience laughter]        

~ From Remagnetizing The Heart

Yes Lee, I would definitely be one to have a violent physical reaction to the dust with these allergies of mine…lol   🙂

.

Love ❤