Ut queant laxis

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I received a nudge to post this for some reason…maybe I’ll figure out why later…When I listened to this with headphones, my entire energy field moved around in what felt like a swirling dance of energy…

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ut_queant_laxis

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solf%C3%A8ge

 

From what I’ve read so far, it’s a hymn in honor of St. John the Baptist. I honestly do not know anything about St. John the Baptist, so I’m off to do my research 🙂

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Oh, also wanted to note that today’s date is 12-13-14 😉

 

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Love ❤

Energy Sensations – Update October 8, 2014

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My (ex)boyfriend took this photo on the way home from work today…so beautiful…

 

It’s been extremely difficult to put anything into words lately and as a result, I haven’t posted anything. I just wanted to give a brief and quick update on the energies. First of all…WOW…the energies that came in throughout the night and continue to come in at this very moment are SO strong! I had been feeling quite dizzy for the past few days, but today is just off the charts.

I didn’t even bother to watch the Full Moon/Blood Moon/Lunar Eclipse early this morning because mosquito season is crazy out here in Arizona…my blood type is one of their preferences ( O positive blood type) and my poor legs are living proof. So when I went to bed last night, I was too lazy to turn on my night light. I fell asleep in complete darkness which is very rare for me. I like to have a light on so I can see what’s in the room when I hear noises (which is often).  I woke up several times throughout the night and saw illuminated swirling patterns all around me. I could actually see it clearer because I was in the darkened room. It was pretty intense. When I finally woke up early in the morning,  my body was burning up hot… I was feeling disoriented and a bit dehydrated.

The swirling patterns I saw seemed to have gold, orange, and brown colors in them…I had never seen brown before, so I meditated on it and got the message that it was orange and green mixed together (or overlapping) making it look brown. So gold, orange and green with very tiny flecks of indigo/purple here and there… That’s something very new to me…

On October 2nd, I had woken up in the middle of the night and saw beautiful flickering golden symbols all around me. They illuminated the entire room and were shimmering.  When I focused on them, I got the words “fire codes”, so I’m thinking it was the same as fire letters. They were really beautiful to see and gave me a magical feeling. The next day after seeing them, I researched it on the internet and read that the  fire letters are part of the DNA activation.

Also, on October 6th, I attempted to take a short nap (but was unable to completely fall asleep) and when I was in that “in between” state, I was shown something that looked like this:

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It didn’t have the colors though; it was just showing me different tiers or levels of something. I was shown that all of these levels were going to compress or collapse together. Initially, I was worried because anything having to do with compressing or collapsing in the past has been physically painful through my body…  so I asked if it was going to be painful, and I didn’t receive an answer! I guess instead of interpreting this as collapse or compress, I’ll look at it as a gentler “integrate” or “unify” which doesn’t sound so painful (cringe) …I don’t fully understand it though…it’s beyond my scope of human understanding. Maybe I’ll read something about it later…

**On October 14th, Lisa Renee posted an update that speaks of lower mental body compression and also goes into further explanation of fire letters…awesome sync 🙂

Much Gratitude!

http://energeticsynthesis.com/index.php/resource-tools/blog-timeline-shift/2519-defragmentation

 ~*~

Energy Sensations

I’m currently getting lots of Crown downloads which feels like warm water pouring into the top of my head. Occasionally, I’m also feeling the warm water sensation pouring in at the bridge of my nose which feels kinda strange…it makes my nose feel like it’s distorted or morphing into something else.  There’s also been lots of heavy movement on my face around my eyelids and temples…I can actually feel my eyelashes moving when the energies are on my eyelids. I’ve been having a lot of work being done on me during sleep time and will wake up frequently throughout the night because it’s just too intense. When I wake up, I’m burning hot and my head feels sore.  For the most part, the focus has been on my head and face.

I’ve noticed that sometimes during the day, I’ll see a light overlay of colors which is something new. It’s been different colors, but the most frequent color looks pink. It’s been very hard for me to focus and I feel very dizzy…sometimes it feels like I’m spinning and I’ll have to go lay down for a while. My Heart chakra has opened more and I’ve been feeling a strong tickling sensation in the center of my chest for the past couple of days. I’m also feeling something lovingly stroking my arm throughout the day.

It seems that I need to drink more water lately and will become dehydrated very quickly. Maybe it’s because of the “fire” type energy that’s very active right now? I just read a post by Lisa Renee and she speaks of the fire energy and recent Kundalini symptoms HERE . I just recently discovered Lisa Renee’s Ascension Glossary and it’s helped to answer so many of my questions.  Everything is all coming together…

~*~

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I had a flashback memory today of when I was a kid, about 5 yrs old… I remembered going outside and talking to the sky at night time. I knew that I had something important to do, a purpose for being here, but couldn’t figure out what it was. While looking for some type of validation or confirmation that what I was feeling was true, I would ask the sky to tell me, but never received any answers. I imagined that I had special powers, but couldn’t seem to get them to work – lol…I would have never imagined that so many years later, at 36 yrs old, an awakening out-of-body experience would change my life so drastically…and would also answer my childhood question of what that important thing was that I am here to do. In remembering that moment from my childhood, it brought such a feeling of Gratitude and comfort.

**On December 7, 2014, I found a post that relates to my childhood memory of talking to the night sky…awesome sync! ❤  http://www.bob-fickes.com/2014/12/childrens-dreams/

Despite all of the discomfort and physical symptoms happening to my body, I feel so fortunate to be here during this time…to be going through something so awesome, something I could have never imagined to be real…something that I felt and knew within when I was a child.  That just hit me today and it brought such a profound feeling of Love and comfort…so much Gratitude from my Heart ❤

My inner child is very happy in this moment…

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Love ❤

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**When I watched this video, it made me think of the timeline work, compression and defragmentation process that we’re currently going through…such a beautiful video…

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Trip to Sedona – Autumn Equinox ~ September 22, 2014

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I seem to always get Solstice and Equinox mixed up and originally thought today was “Solstice”…oops…It’s ok…I forgive myself -lol 😉

I was very drawn to  Sedona today for Autumn Equinox…felt like I needed to make a connection there.  It was a pleasant 2 hour drive to get to Bell Rock and such a beautiful day with perfect weather.  Surprisingly, there were not a lot of people there today, so it was very peaceful.  

I’ve been sensing purple and green energies lately and have been seeing the two colors a lot when my eyes are closed…I was pleasantly surprised when I ended up getting a lot of purple and some green in my photos…such a nice confirmation 🙂

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I’ve never gotten so much purple in my pictures before…The energy did feel different today, but couldn’t quite figure out what it was…the messages were not coming in today like they usually do…

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I stayed for a few hours…recited some mantras & prayers, grounded some energies, and read a book while laying down on my favorite rock 🙂

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I saw a curious little blue bird spying on me…

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Then spent some time in my “secret spot” away from the path…

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And of course I had to stop at my favorite crystal shop…

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Overall it was a very beautiful day and I’m very grateful to have spent Autumn Equinox in beautiful Sedona.

I’m feeling a lot of change coming…These energies are bringing a lot of opport-unity…the word “unity” pops out and is a reminder to myself that I need to come out of seclusion…it’s time to unite with others…For the first time in a very long time, I feel comfortable with that…I am ready 🙂

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Happy Autumn Equinox!  Many Blessings from my Heart to yours ❤

Love ❤

Energy Sensations – Update August 22, 2014

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It’s been quite a while since I’ve written anything…I tried several times, but it just wasn’t flowing…A lot has happened since I last wrote, but I’ll just sum it up.

I went back to Arizona on June 25th and have been back and forth to California. I’ll be back in Arizona probably until October. I found out that my medical insurance is still active in Arizona so I’m going to see some specialists for various “mysterious” health issues that nobody can seem to figure out. It all started after I had received a blood transfusion back in 2012 and has progressively gotten worse since then.  At the moment I’ll just say that my skin is burning without any sign of rash, and nothing will help.

I’ve had numerous tests done; biopsies, blood panel tests, diabetes tests, numerous yeast and bacteria cultures, and I’ve even seen different doctors just for the sake of getting different opinions. It’s sort of bizarre to say the least. It’s shown me how awful our medical system is, and that most doctors I’ve seen, just wanted to drug me up and numb the symptoms with medication instead of trying to find the cause. Any testing I’ve had, was because I begged them to run some tests and I was very persistent. VERY frustrating and very sad…

While in Arizona, I experienced a crazy storm on July 26th. (I wrote about it right after it happened, but didn’t get around to posting it and will back date it and post shortly).

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On the morning of August 17th, I had a strange dream that there was an aurora in the sky, but it had multiple bright rainbow colors in it. I sensed the presence of other beings, even though I didn’t see them, I could sense that they were there. The colors generated an inaudible tone that affected my vibration. What I mean by an inaudible tone, is that I couldn’t hear it with my ears, I just heard and felt it from within. An example would be, for people experiencing Kundalini phenomena, when they hear bells, chimes, booming noises, or chanting that nobody else can hear. In my experience, the sound comes in at the Crown chakra because I can feel it swaying when I hear the inaudible sounds. That’s all I remember from the dream but I know there was much more to it.

Once I woke up from the dream, for the rest of the day, I started getting these realizations and drastic changes in my perspective about things happening in my life. The next day on Aug. 18th while on the 6 hour drive through the desert, back to California, I got “downloads” of information. What I mean by that, is that it’s just instantly in my mind without having previously known or any process to get to this knowing…it’s not there one second, and then it is there the next. In this knowing, I had a huge weight lifted off of me, and I had a complete change in perspective of how I was going to handle the difficulties in my life. The resolutions were just there in an instant and it brought a sense of relief.

I also got some information about what is currently happening for some people on other levels. It was shown to me as many people releasing enough obstacles and being clear enough to begin the next phase of activation. The result of the energy from the obstacles was shown as causing compression that needed to be released. The compression was to be released and “spun off” through spinning whirlwind vortexes. I was shown that the spiraling motion had great importance in this process.

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It was explained to me that the outer reflection of those vortexes was mirrored in higher vibrational human fields as “axiatonal spin points”. Spin points are part of the axiatonal/meridian grid of the body. I understood that once we have reached a certain vibration and are ready to activate the axiatonal grid in alignment (balance), the body will use these spin points to quickly spin out the obstacles (stagnant energy) from our energy field. When this is done on a large scale, (meaning many people around the world, such as it is now) there will be a reflection of this in our outer world which may appear as tornados, monsoon “microbursts”, and hurricane/cyclone type weather. It was all represented by a spiral movement or vortex.  The Earth may also be assisted by Buddhic Columns in the same way as the human spin points.

Once I received this information, I understood why I had experienced this microburst storm in Arizona. It was the final push of activation of my spin points. I was shown that anyone experiencing their changes while consciously connected to this collective group grid (that are currently in this phase), will see it manifested outward and it will feel “personal” to them. They’ll have some sort of deeper realization or inner knowing that this happened as a reflection of themselves.

I realized that I had been feeling these spin points activating in different locations for a while now…especially on my face. I’m guessing they’re slowly activated one by one for a while, and then when you get enough of them activated, it’ll give one big cleansing flush…something needs to force it through to “combust” the activation. The images I received was sort of like a clogged pipe that is slow draining until it gets enough push of water to flush the pipe clean. It was made very clear that the “water and pipe” vision was just used as an example that my mind could understand, but it was actually more of a “fire” type combustion. This seems to be where a large group is at Now.

Energy Sensations

For the past couple of months, I’ve had a lot of activity on my body. The most active sensation is when I wake up in the morning and I feel my whole energy field moving, rotating, shifting in such a way that it reminds me of the way a snake moves. It feels like my entire being is twisting and turning kind of like this picture below but maybe more of a rolling motion:

movement

This sensation feels SO good and when I wake up, I just lay there with my eyes closed for about an hour just so I can feel this sensation as long as I can. It’s so soothing and peaceful like a cellular massage…I have no idea what it is or what stage this pertains to and haven’t read anything about a sensation like this yet.

The next thing that’s really noticeable is the spin points on various parts of my body. The spin points feel like a very small circle of energy about the size of a dime, and it has a sizzling, fizzing type sensation. I’ve felt this in many areas, but the one above my mouth has been active everyday for about two months straight. I have no idea why that one is so active. Also, for the last 2 weeks, my tongue has had a strong electrical type current of energy running through it again. It’s really pulsing pretty hard this time.

On August 2nd I had a bliss episode hit me out of nowhere during the daytime while I was fully awake… I felt like my whole spine was filled with the liquid bliss feeling…it was AWESOME. The only way I can explain it, is that it felt like my entire spine was filled with a liquid euphoric massaging substance that emanates outward. The effect feels better than any substance, drug, or emotion that I’ve ever felt in my entire life. ..there is absolutely nothing to compare it to. I just laid down in my bed and let it take over because I didn’t want it to stop! It lasted for about an hour.

I’ve been feeling a little spacey and “dream-like”…maybe I need to ground more? I’ve been pretty calm despite my chaotic family and my patience has doubled. Overall, this feels like a really nice space to be in although it is not familiar to me. It seems that the integration is a smooth transition at the moment.

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~*~

I found a video that strangely reminds me of the movement sensations I’m feeling on my body.  It’s oddly familiar to me when I watch it and seems to sync with the process that my body is currently going through.  These are the type of visuals I get in my mind when I feel the sensations.  It’s amazing how accurate the pulsing and rolling motions are in the video…I’ve even seen the triangles connecting together and creating something in my visions…it’s fascinating to actually see it recreated by someone…Much Gratitude 🙂

The video can be found here:

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Love ❤

Walking in Harmony

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It’s been quite a while since I’ve been able to write anything.  I can’t really explain it, but it’s almost like I wasn’t “allowed” to write anything.  When I’d make an attempt to post an update, I’d get a big “NOT NOW” that would shut me down.  This has been such a deep integration for the last three months that I totally got lost in it…I saw a post from Sandra Walter recently and it was a huge confirmation to what I’ve been going through in these last few months.  The post can be found HERE.

So I finally moved out of my (ex)boyfriend’s house in Phoenix, Arizona. On March 1st,  I made a trip to California with most of the big stuff and then officially left Arizona for good on April 19th (the day before Easter).  I did realize that I left a few odds and ends after I moved out, so I recently took a brief trip back to Arizona to pick it up.  While I was in Arizona, we took a trip to Sedona (which I have written about below).

So now I’m living in Coto de Caza, California which is also known as “Orange County”.  It’s very close to Laguna Beach.  It’s SO beautiful here and the weather is perfect.  I have this serene feeling of freedom living here with my cousin.

But enough about that, I’ll get into the energetic transformation that is currently taking place…

~***~

Energy Sensations

So the last three months have been INTENSE to say the least.  Kundalini is kicking my ass – LOL   I’m definitely not the same as I was three months ago…my body has dramatically changed and I can feel the different rewiring that has taken effect.  There’s been a stream of energy pouring in only on the right side of my Crown chakra every day for the past couple of months.  I wonder why it’s just in that same spot?  My energy is alive and constantly moving around adjusting throughout the day.  There seem to be many embodiments residing within me.

The next thing that I’ve realized is that energy on my lower legs (calves) has dramatically changed.  I’m not sure if an experience that I had in Sedona had anything to do with it, but on my recent last trip back to Arizona to pick up the rest of my stuff, we decided to visit Sedona.  It was on May 24th around the time that there were forest fires close to the area.  I wanted to go so that I could say some prayers for rain and protection for Sedona.

While we were there, we stopped at a little outdoor vendor sale with tents.  When I passed by one of the vendors, a wall of energy forcefully pulled my energy downward.  I’ve never felt anything like it, it was the most powerful energetic grounding sensation that I’ve ever felt so far.  I was totally shocked by this and walked back to the vendor to see what they were selling.  It was a booth for jewelry that claims to help ground your energy!  Well, I can definitely say that it REALLY works since I felt it even before I knew what the product was! I didn’t physically touch any of the jewelry, so the profound effect it had on my energy was probably from all of the jewelry combined in a small space…combined with the energies in Sedona, it created some sort of vortex.

My (ex)boyfriend wanted to buy some of the jewelry for himself since I had felt such a strong energy coming from it.  As I was standing there waiting for him to browse, my energy continued to forcefully pull downward…after a while, I felt something reaching into my root/sacral chakra areas and it started “working” on me.  I had to spread my feet apart and stand in a more stable position as this forceful pulling and “work” was being done on me in front of everyone.  It was so funny to have this all going on while everyone around me was totally clueless as to what was happening.   I just stood there quietly laughing while nobody noticed.  After we left, my lower back slightly ached on the right side…the only other time my back ached like that, in the same exact spot, was when I got my Reiki Tummo attunements.  I must have had a huge flush of energy flowing through me to trigger that same effect.

So since that experience in Sedona, I am now frequently feeling this strange buzzy energy whipping around my lower legs.  It’s almost as if some additional anchoring channels were opened or widened in that area.  The next night energy was strongly pouring into my feet (stronger than ever before) accompanied by the sensation of an energy enveloping the outside of my calves (emanating into my legs from the outside).  The outer sensation felt very electromagnetic.  A few days later, I realized that each time my foot hit the ground while walking, my leg would vibrate, but only when the foot hits the ground.  It’s so bizarre…it happens every single time I walk now, so I decided to meditate on it to see if I got any information…

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While in meditation, I got a vision of a tuning fork.  The message I received was that my lower leg bones were acting as a tuning fork?  Huh?  That sounds so silly, but that’s what I got…When my feet hit the ground while walking, it strikes my bones and they vibrate like a tuning fork causing some type of energy balancing effect.  I had to laugh when I initially got the message, because it just really sounds “out there” – LOL  But then I realized that we are here to bring in new codes, anchoring in new vibrations and tones…so why couldn’t it be true?  If I believe it’s true, then I agree to create it, and then it will become my reality.

**On September 21, 2014, I stumbled upon a page in Lisa Renee’s Ascension Glossary  (while researching “bone marrow” on the internet) and it was a total confirmation to the information that I was receiving…WOW…The page can be found here:

http://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Law_of_Resonance 

 

Later in the evening, after receiving this vision, I saw a picture of Egyptian hieroglyphs on television, and it showed the Egyptian god who has some type of tuning fork looking thing on his head…I’m not sure if it is an actual tuning fork on his head, but it prompted me to start searching for stuff on the internet.

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Then I searched “Egyptian tuning fork” and saw pictures of hieroglyphs with two tuning forks passing energy to each other :

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I also found this on the crystalinks site:

“Discoveries emerging from Egypt, describe the existence of a world wide pyramid temple system in prehistory, mounted like antennae on key energy meridians, which were employed by ancient priest-scientists as harmonic tuning forks to stabilize the tectonic plates of the planet’s cataclysmic geology. From the mother tongue word Jedaiah, meaning ‘The Way of the Word’ or ‘The Power of the Word’, the ancient Jedai priests used the Language of Light to tune the planet like a giant harmonic bell. Much is being rediscovered in the last days of this time cycle.”  The whole article can be found HERE.

After finding many connections, it reminded me that I had awakened in the morning on March 10th and saw an illuminated pattern surrounding me.  It was difficult to see with my eyes open, but was very clear when I closed my eyes.  It looked like many strands of DNA that were all activated and moving at the same time.  The only picture that I could find that kinda looked like it was this one:

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The strands didn’t have the lines in between them though, and the strands were all much closer together. Their movement seemed to generate a tone.  I got the idea that they were all dancing or in sync with each other.  The words that came to mind while witnessing this were “harmony” and “harmonics”…and when I looked up the word “harmonic” on the internet, I found this photo :

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So I’m thinking maybe I wasn’t seeing DNA, but was actually seeing harmonics in action.  Then to further add to the syncs, I began reading lots of posts from various sources that are speaking about harmonics.  One of the posts was by Earthkeeper Tyberonn who posted information about a “Portal of Harmony” on February 2nd which can be found HERE.  and on April 11th about the “Harmonic Trigger” which he states, began on the Spring Equinox March 20th and would continue until Summer Solstice June 21st which can be found HERE.  I’m now seeing the word “harmony” everywhere…

Maybe actual people are being “harmonically triggered” during this time and their bodies are walking tuning forks?  Hmmm…that gives me something to think about…

 

“The search for meaning is really the search for the lost chord. When the lost chord is discovered by humankind, the discord in the world will be healed and the symphony of the universe will come into complete harmony with itself.” ~John O’Donohue

 

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Love ❤

 

 

**After writing this post, I found a post on July 8th that speaks of harmonics and our spine being a tuning fork…Wow! Such an awesome sync to find that!  I very strongly resonated with what she wrote and got very emotional while reading it for some reason…  The post can be found here: http://judithkusel.wordpress.com/2014/07/07/the-awakening-deep-within/

 

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Energy Sensations – Update February 14, 2014

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The end of January seemed to be very busy with energy coming in…Crown downloads, lots of movement on my body, work being done during sleep time, nerves twitching all over, and of course, the relentless loud fluctuating tones in my right ear…I also went through a very intense period of being freezing cold…the cold was emanating out of my body no matter what I tried to do to warm up.

February has been completely different for me…The first few days of February I felt emotional like something was being released, and then all of a sudden I was back in my place of stillness. Overnight it just seemed to switch… Feeling very peaceful and detached from everything around me…almost like a dream state where I have to constantly ground to be present or I’ll start to get that floaty dream feeling.

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Recently, I even started to see a white fog everywhere which will disappear once I focus on it (looks very similar to the picture above). The first time I saw it, the fog was so thick that I initially thought there was smoke in the house. One of the times I saw it, my boyfriend was there so I asked him if he saw it too, but he said no. I’m not sure what it is, but I feel that it happens when I’m not grounded. Could I be seeing my own energy field?

The ear tones are gone and the hiss noise that I’m now hearing is an even higher pitch than previously…I didn’t even know that was possible since it was so high pitched before. The sound is so comforting; it’s as if it emanates peace from within.

This feels like a very deep integration. Training my thoughts is VERY important right now…it’s constant work… If any negative or judgmental thoughts creep in, I’ll very quickly correct them. There seems to be a sense of preparing for something that will take effect very soon (maybe March?). Also when I try to make something happen, or get tense when I “hope” that something bad won’t happen, my guidance will step in and tell me to “let it go”, “clear your thoughts”, “release the attachment”, “set it free and trust”.

I caught myself reading a post and listening to a video on youtube at the same time the other day…when I caught myself doing this, I was going to pause the video so that I could fully focus on reading the post…My guidance quickly stopped me and I got the message that I should continue to read and listen to both. From my understanding, it will serve as a type of training to process multiple streams of information at the same time. This will assist in becoming familiar with consciously processing information from multiple sources, from multiple dimensions simultaneously.

I guess we’ve always done that in some form, but now it will be on a conscious level as we become consciously aware of many other dimensions at once. I’m a very methodical person who needs to have everything organized (part of my OCD), so this training will be necessary to break out of the strong hold that my brain has been under for most of my life. Being so organized and in control was a good thing in the old reality, not so good in the new reality…

My first conscious experience with multiple dimensions all at once was back in 2009. I attended a spiritual healing workshop that used a different technique (not reiki or Kundalini related) in Los Angeles. I had just quit my job in law enforcement and wanted to quickly find another line of work, so I was desperately searching. I thought that if I learned different healing modalities, I’d be able to earn a living doing energy healing so I signed up for the workshop.

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During the beginning of the workshop, the teacher was speaking at the front of the room, and I felt an overwhelmingly chaotic energy take over me. So much was going on at the same time within my energy field that it felt like I was having a mild panic attack. This was all new to me and I had never felt anything like it before. The person sitting next to me saw what was happening and told me to ground. At the time, I didn’t really fully understand grounding either…

I later found out from one of the other students that the teacher subliminally attunes the class at the very beginning (introduction) while speaking, so it kinda creeps up on you unexpectedly…Long story short, I spoke to the teacher during a break and he explained that I was experiencing multiple dimensions all at once. After taking some deep breaths and after he did an adjustment within my energy field, I was able to calm down. I had to spend the rest of the class sitting on the floor at the very back of the room because I could feel too much from everyone around me.

That was my first time ever consciously experiencing multi dimensions all at once and it was quite an experience. I can imagine how it would freak people out if they don’t understand what’s happening. For me, anyway, it tends to feel like a panic attack causing anxiety if I’m not grounded. I feel that this current training period is very important and will allow the transition to happen with less of the chaotic feeling that can accompany this type of integration

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I’ve been going through an extreme sensitivity to chemicals in food. Changing my diet to a very strict no sugar, very limited carbs, and mostly vegetable with lean protein was a must. Eventually I’d like to go fully raw, but want to slowly ease into that so I won’t go into a healing crisis. My son went from eating daily fast food to going complete vegetarian and he broke out in a bad rash on his entire body that took a very long time to heal…I’d like to avoid any drastic reactions if I can…

I had to change my diet because my body is not tolerating junk food anymore and will quickly let me know it’s not playing around! I had been getting itchy allergic type sensations after eating certain foods and sometimes my skin would burn. These were foods I’ve eaten for years with no problems, but my tolerance has changed.  After following the strict diet, the symptoms would go away. Even when I slack off and eat something with a lot of additives, my salivary glands start to produce saliva so hard and so fast that it really hurts my mouth. It’s as if the salivary glands are trying to quickly flush the artificial additives out.

My body has been vibrating A LOT. It’ll just come and go spontaneously more frequently than it ever has in the past. I’ve also been feeling like something’s coming out of the side of my head for the past few weeks. It just moves in and out causing a high vibration tingly feeling. I’ve also noticed that when I wake up in the morning, I see a black tunnel/funnel looking thing above me. It kinda looks like the picture below:

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I’ve seen it before in the past, but hadn’t seen it for a very long time…now I’ve been seeing it every single morning for weeks.

So February seems to be a very peaceful integration so far. Such a calm stillness with loving guidance. I’m going to enjoy it as much as I can because next month is the Spring equinox and also the month I’ll be moving out of my boyfriend’s house…I just have a feeling that next month will smack me upside the head… Even the word “March” implies forward movement (cringe) – LOL

…That’s ok, I’ll be ready and well rested for wherever March may take me…

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tornado

Happy Valentine’s Day !

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Kiss

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Energy Sensations – Update January 13, 2014

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HeartCenter

The Kundalini has been super active lately. Starting a few nights ago, the energies started tickling my entire body…It lasted a couple of days…I had to keep scratching myself because it felt like someone was running a feather over me. It’s probably the Kundalini sensation that most people describe as “bugs crawling all over your body”.

On the morning of January 9th I felt the “hot spots” on my Crown chakra…This was the first time I’ve ever felt pain on my actual Crown. I’ve had pineal migraines and tenderness on my scalp over the years, but those are 3D sensations…this was different since it’s on an etheric level. It’s difficult to explain, but it feels like it’s painful to my physical body, but it also feels like it’s distant or further away than my physical body, but the pain still comes in…Does that even make sense?

I noticed that my Crown felt different last week, so something’s definitely changing. The hot spots felt like little electrical pulses with heat that kind of stings a little. It’s a very slow sensation, like if it’s happening while suspended in time and my perception is delayed or it skips? I know that probably sounds weird but that’s the only way I can explain it. A few minutes after feeling the pulses randomly on my Crown, I heard three loud chimes…kind of like bells ringing but it was a different type of sound vibration. The sounds were somehow very comforting…

The past few days there has also been a lot of activity on the nasal chakra which feels like warm water pouring out of the top and the bridge of my nose. I’ve also been seeing more than just the little sparkles manifesting around me…now I’m seeing a big circle of layered illuminated blue taking over my entire vision for a split second. It just pops into my mind and takes over my whole vision so fast that I’m startled by it. It kind of looks like this:

blueorb

Starting on January 9th I noticed that my Heart center felt larger…when I focused on it, I’d get the image of a big void space, but it had small pinpoints of light that looked like stars.

Stars

That doesn’t make any sense to me because I usually see something there, whether it’s a color, or a pulse, but as of Wednesday, I’m just seeing this vast open space (which literally looks like outer space). My chest feels HUGE. This is a totally new sensation for me…I haven’t experienced anything even close to this so it’s a little bizarre. I’ve heard of a Heart expansion, but wasn’t quite taking the meaning so literally! It seems funny to me and made me laugh at the thought of my Heart center looking like outer space… I’m sure I’ll figure it out soon…

With the chest expansion and the heavier Crown activity, I feel more “alive”, and it now feels like my energy flow is reversed. When I used to get the Torus sensation, it would feel like I was turning inward on myself and it was very overwhelming…but now it feels like my center is turning outward and spreading my energy out instead of bringing it in. When it used to turn inward, I would feel like a pressure cooker with too much inside and I would lose my breath. Now it feels like it’s dispersing outward and it’s a more “free” feeling of expansion.

**In November 2014 (10 months after writing this), I found this picture and it reminded me of this experience ❤ … **I later received a vision that showed me that this phase in the process is considered “THE EYE OF THE NEEDLE”…and if you look at the picture below, it kind of does look like the eye of a needle….In the vision, the “threading” was shown to me as connecting to others through this newly expanded Heart space, which would represent Heart based “Unity” consciousness.

heartexpansion

~***~

On the morning of January 10th I woke up and felt energy entering into the bottom of my feet. I’ve felt this before, but it’s rare compared to the constant flow of feeling the energy pouring out of my feet. The Kundalini was extremely active that day and was just whipping around quickly moving all over my body. When the energy was entering my right foot, I felt clusters of nerves twitching on the bottom of my foot, then I felt the energy move through my lower leg causing my leg to have a very powerful chills sensation, then it moved up through my right thigh, into my Root chakra which tickled, and then quickly moved upward through the rest of my body to the left side of my face…the energy stayed at my left temple for quite a while.

I have no idea why the energy spends so much time at my temples. I can’t find much about “temple chakras” online. I know there are chakras there because I can feel them, but it seems to be a very secretive topic for some reason. I wonder why? I’m gonna do some more research and see if I can find out more about them.

The energies are definitely amping up quite a bit. There’s a new feeling in the air…This is new territory, so I have no idea what to expect… I don’t mind at all, as long as I can stay out of pain 🙂

Love ❤

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Heart

Energy Sensations – Update January 6, 2014

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freedom

 

I haven’t felt motivated to write anything in a while…Not too much has happened since my last post with the exception of December 27th; I got hit with a huge amount of energy…Right after I woke up in the morning, I got dizzy, couldn’t focus my eyes, had a weird pressure sensation in my solar plexus which caused extreme anxiety, and nerves started twitching all over my body in different locations.

I felt like I was having a panic attack. I took some anxiety medication and stayed in bed all day…There’s no way I would have been able to rest if I hadn’t taken the medication, because this sensation was just too strong. I felt like my solar plexus was going to explode.

I had strange dreams and visions while I was in and out of sleep all day. I was shown that there were many fragments of myself that were being returned and put together like a puzzle. The way that it was shown to me, was more like shards of glass and all of the jagged glass pieces were brought together and seamlessly melted into one piece. Maybe that’s why I felt so much pressure from my core, because of the added (returning) embodiments?

I also saw a deity sitting on a throne that looked kind of like a female Egyptian deity but was wearing a really exaggerated tall headpiece that I’ve never seen in any Egyptian artwork before. The headpiece was about 4 feet tall and had many layers of gold and multicolored gems/stones on it. It kind of looked like an “Ezelsdorf-Buch golden hat” (but without the rim at the bottom) which is in the picture below, but in my vision it also had jewels on it.

Gold Hat of Berlin

When I got out of bed around 5pm, my body was super hot even though it didn’t read on the thermometer. My boyfriend scanned my energy with his hand and said that the heat was coming out of the area of my solar plexus. He also said that he saw a bright white orb on my shoulder. I also keep seeing a blue orb on my left side and I’m starting to think that it’s always around me since I see it so much. Maybe it’s a guardian?

Later, when my boyfriend went to plug in the Christmas tree lights, he had barely grabbed the plug in his hand and the lights flickered on! He hadn’t even touched the plug anywhere near the plug outlet in the wall, so the lights went on from his own energy! I was convinced that something big was going on energetically on the 27th but I haven’t read anything about it yet.

~***~

I had a strange dream on Jan. 3rd. In the dream I was laying down on a bed in a brightly lit room and started to close my eyes to meditate. Once my eyes were closed, I started to see a blue background with one single white cloud in the middle of it. In my mind I was asking for some guidance and big capital blue letters popped up into the cloud that spelled the word “FLEE”.

Flee

I was confused by this message and asked again for some guidance and then a bunch of blue words in another language popped up into the cloud…I couldn’t understand what the words said, so I asked for guidance one more time…the cloud started moving and contracting, and then completely went away. I have NO IDEA what this is supposed to mean. Flee pretty much means to get out quickly, but does it mean for me to get out of Arizona? I guess we’ll find out here pretty soon! I always thought of the word Flee as an urgency to get away from danger.  I don’t really believe in doom and gloom stuff, so maybe I’ll find another meaning or connection later…

~***~

Energy Sensations

As for energy sensations, I went through a couple of weeks of feeling the “hot spots” (random electrical pulse sensations) everyday on my body (which were pretty painful). I haven’t felt any in a while, so I’m really glad that’s over with. The pulse in my tongue has been very subtle to the point that I can hardly feel it anymore, but I can tell that it’s still there. My Crown has been really active and the movement on it feels heavier…something has changed with my Crown but I haven’t quite figured it out yet…

For the past few weeks, I’d been having crazy dreams about people being mean to me and doing hurtful things. Most of it was little petty stuff (like people at my old job or small arguments with friends), but the dreams have been very stressful. I’ve spent so much time clearing the really big traumatic experiences in the last year, that I hadn’t really paid attention to the little things. These dreams have showed me that it’s important for me to focus on clearing the little petty stuff too…

new energy

When I woke up in the morning a few days ago, I felt a strong pulse coming out of my Heart center…it was almost like an up and down sensation that tickled a little bit (the picture above reminds me of the energies). It felt really good. After that, my upper back was vibrating for a couple of days, so I’m guessing that I’ve had a deeper activation of the Heart center.  I’ve also been feeling a subtle sensation in my throat like it’s closing up…it’s not overwhelming, but it does get a bit uncomfortable at times.  I’m thinking that it has to do with this Heart center activation.  In the past, the High Heart activations have also affected my throat.

Since this deeper Heart center activation, I had been a little emotional and had no idea why I felt that way. I’ve just been resting and had been trying not to focus on anything. Today something feels different… my inner guidance has shown me a picture of training wheels…the message that I’m getting is that I’ve gone through a whirlwind of emotions coming up over the last few weeks from past experiences and am now using my training wheels to “rewrite” these past issues. I really have no idea how I’m supposed to “rewrite” this stuff… but I’m being shown not to “think” about how to do it, and that if I just “feel” (as in a surrendering kind of way), then I will be shown or guided how to do it.

So this seems to be the theme for January…another phase of releasing, but with more ease and in more of a flowing nature. This phase will serve as a sort of training to more easily (but very thoroughly) transform whatever it is that comes up from deep (I’m being shown VERY deep) within. It seems that we’ve come to a high enough vibration to be able to start using this upgrade in transformation. There’s a little bit of confidence that came in today and I’m buzzing with a new “secure” type feeling…it’s very difficult to explain, but it feels really good. It’s very powerful, whatever it is…

For the first time in quite a while, I have the confidence to move out of my boyfriend’s house and am getting a little push to finally go (and to completely let go). I need to get moving… Something has changed within me that has restored the confidence and security to move forward. There’s a sense of excitement and a trust that everything will not only be “ok”, but it will be even better than I imagined. I’m planning to completely move out at the end of February…I just need to get these “training wheels” going so that I can move myself into a balanced state 🙂
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TrainingWheels

Love ❤

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Infinity ~Twin Flame Awareness

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TwinSouls

In the beginning of November, I had a vision of a key being handed to me with an infinity symbol on it…I also saw an Ankh with an infinity symbol on the top (instead of a circle) but I wasn’t too sure what this meant.  I wrote about the vision in a blog HERE.

After meditating on it for a while, I got the message that the infinity symbol was given to me specifically for the purpose of assisting with the ancestral karmic energies I was currently working through.  I was shown that the sideways infinity symbol (or LEMNISCATE ) was to be focused on or visualized actively moving in my mind while having the intention of clearing the ancestral energies.

zeropoint

I followed my guidance and used the symbol many times for clearing…I also used it on my boyfriend while doing healing on his sciatic nerve pain that he’s been suffering from lately.  I believe sciatic pain is associated with blocked meridians and nadis due to ancestral junk that we’ve accumulated over many lifetimes.  I also believe that fibromyalgia is linked to this as well.  It really seemed to work on his pain and he said he noticed a big difference after the energy healing was done.

I just recently became aware that the infinity symbol is linked to twin flame/twin soul reunion (awareness).  It all started with a beautiful dream that I had on the night of December 17th (night of the full moon).

This dream was unlike any other I’ve ever had…in the dream, I was visited by a Buddhist monk and we were totally and completely in Love with each other…I could feel this strong feeling of Love just by him being in my presence, it was emanating out of him. In the dream, we were going to get married and I understood that he was going to be my teacher for the rest of my life.

It was a HUGE relief to me, like if everything from that point on, was going to be ok… I was SO in Love with him, it was beyond anything I have ever felt in my entire life…I felt my whole being totally surrender to him and knew without a doubt that he was going to complete me in such a way, that I would never have to search for answers to anything ever again. The feeling was so strong, that I cannot even express into words how it felt.

I know that Buddhist monks take a vow of celibacy and have only read of special and rare circumstances that they may marry someone, so it’s extremely rare. I guess the message that I initially took from the dream was that it was more of an internal union than a literal marriage in 3D. I was thinking maybe it represented the union of masculine and feminine aspects of self?

Video from Meline Lafont:

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I saw a video on December 19th by Meline Lafont that speaks of this phase of currently embodying the I AM presence (she also mentions heart palpitations which I’ve been having a lot of lately).  Her video triggered some questions and I searched “I AM presence masculine and feminine” on the internet out of curiosity. I realized that the I AM presence is actually the masculine and feminine aspects merged which I hadn’t really thought about before. Now that makes sense to me regarding my dream. I later realized that on December 17th the full moon was in Gemini which represents “twin” energy…maybe twin flame/twin soul energy?

Throughout this process, I’ve never really paid much attention to the twin flame stuff…I just never really believed that my twin flame was incarnated here on Earth and the thought of reuniting physically with him didn’t resonate with me. After this dream, I now fully believe that my twin flame is not incarnated on Earth and that my “reuniting” is not an actual reuniting, but more of a remembering, or conscious awareness.

The message that I’m getting from this dream is that I’ve always been merged with my twin flame, it’s just that it was not in my conscious awareness. Now that I’ve become consciously aware and have integrated the awareness of his presence, I feel his presence within me…it’s as if I can pull that feeling of complete unconditional Love from within me anytime I want, now that I’m aware of it. He is always with me. I’m even getting teary eyed right now just writing about it…I’ve never felt this type of feeling before…it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.

Why would I need to manifest this union physically when I can feel his Love always (in all ways) within? I would not want to change this perfection by incarnating it in this imperfect realm…there is no need or desire for anything other than what it is.

~***~

After doing a little more research, I found lots of stuff regarding twin flames associated with the infinity symbol and realized that the awareness of the infinity symbol is the beginning of the twin flame awareness. One of the articles I found showed this symbol:

Infinity Master Symbol

The article says: “By activating the Infinity Master Creative Symbol (all of it) you bring the 5 Elements (Earth, Fire, Air, Water and Ether) into balance. You activate the Alpha – Omega – One-Heart Chakra System once again. You receive and activate the Grail Codes and you activate and bring the Feminine/Masculine and Twin Flame Love into balance. Furthermore you activate the Holomatrix of Love in Pure White Light to begin automatically releasing and healing everything which do not serve your highest good any longer and add all that you need to reach the enlightenment at high speed and with ease and grace.”

The rest of the article can be found HERE

I also found a site that had this symbol:

twinflame-symbol

The article says:

“Germain began with an image of two circles that symbolized the separate entities before remembering the Twin Flame journey.”

“He continued by showing the infinity symbol and described how this was the beginning of the Twin Flames journey. As the two circles come closer together and begin to form the two halves of the eight, (infinity symbol) this symbolized the beginning of the coming together of the divine masculine and the divine feminine. Through working together whether in the physical or the etheric realms they would experience within the inner eye of the heart the moving energies as it traveled around the infinity symbol. As the two energies meet in the middle it can be clearly seen as the magnetic energies of the divine feminine and the electric energies of the divine masculine.  (The link to the article that this came from, is no longer working).

~***~

I’m having a difficult time explaining what’s been shown to me (by my inner guidance) about the infinity symbol, but here are some pictures that might help to explain it better:

From The Emerald Tablet:

“When thou hast entered the form thou hast dwelt in, use thou the cross and the circle combined. Open thy mouth and use thou thy Voice. Utter the Word and thou shalt be free. Only the one who of Light has the fullest can hope to pass by the guards of the way. And then must he move through strange curves and angles that are formed in direction not known to man.”

**Click on Ankh pictures for updated findings (July 24, 2015):

ankh1      ankh2

~***~

From the Emerald Tablet:

“Only they could guard God’s creation. Then did I pass ëround the circle of eight. Saw all the souls who had conquered the darkness. Saw the splendor of Light where they dwelled. Longed I to take my place in their circle, but longed I also for the way I had chosen, when I stood in the Halls of Amenti and made my choice to the work I would do.”

Circle of Eight:

infinity1  zeropoint

~***~

Old Way ~ Wheel of Karma

ouroboros Wheelofkarma

~***~

New Way ~ In This NOW

ouroboros1

~***~

Infinity Spirit/Sol and Soul/Luna, Male and Female

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There are four elements in this image that are connected by an ouroborus symbol. The lion represents the essence of spirit and the swan symbolizes the feminine soul. Here the lion consumes the female swan within the stage of the work that she represents, namely, the albedo. Thus the silver, or white stone, is in the process of being transmuted into gold. The lion and the swan, spirit and soul, are captured in their cosmic counterparts, sun (Sol) and moon (Luna), within the ouroborus. Typically the snake devouring its own tail is presented as a circle representing a state of primal unconsciousness; activated but not going anywhere. But, here we see this symbol in the form of the infinity sign, thus indicating a shift toward conscious integration of the energies of spirit/Sol and soul/Luna [male and female].  (Link for the article that this picture came from, is no longer working)

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I apologize for not being able to explain the information that I’ve received and just using pictures, but it’s such a deep “knowing” that my limited interpretation cannot fully explain.  I hope it makes sense and is my wish that it will help in some way on one’s journey.  The gold/silver, male/female, mirror image, serpent/snakes, I AM presence, infinity symbol are all coming together and the pieces of the puzzle are quickly filling in.  It’s not what I would have expected it to be, but it’s a reminder that following your Heart is so important in this process.  There is no right or wrong, but if you follow what truly resonates with your Heart, you will always find your way home GoldenHeart

.golden key

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Twin Flames captured above my head in a photo after this experience

 

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Energy Sensations – Update December 7, 2013

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For the past 3 days I’ve been having some very intense work being done specifically on my Sacral and Solar Plexus chakras. When I get the intense work focusing on one spot, it’s usually very gentle and slow…as of these past few days, that’s not the case.

This work has been very aggressive and fast…lots of reaching into these two chakras and physically pulling stuff out of them (I say physical because I can physically feel everything that’s being done, including the stuff that they’re pulling out, and it’s a little uncomfortable). Normally it’s done when I’m in the half awake, half asleep groggy state, but now it’s being done while fully awake and aware.

Since this work is being done, I’m also having bizarre dreams when I fall asleep. It involves lots of really weird stuff like mangled or deformed bodies talking to me, or the presence of death. Lots of black stuff and it’s very dark and gloomy like the astral realm.

I’m not scared at all during these dreams and there’s no fear. It’s just really strange dark stuff that I believe is what’s being released from the collective at this moment… I sense that it needs to be done very quickly during this time. I get the word “quickening” when I think about how quickly they were pulling stuff out of me…I feel that the weird dreams are the energies passing through to communicate in my dreams before its final departure. **After writing about this, I found an article that was posted on July 2, 2014 that speaks about “The Quickening” and I thought it was pretty interesting.  The article can be found here: http://www.bob-fickes.com/2014/07/the-quickening/

Strangely enough, I’m also seeing a change in people in public, mainly in men. It’s like they’re softening up a little or aren’t what they appear to be. There are many things I’ve witnessed so far, but I’ll just give one example that seemed to trigger an awareness within me…it was today when a very manly man wearing an Army shirt, with a crew cut haircut, probably about 50 yrs old, asked me about my necklace ( I have a Sun necklace with moonstone in the middle that I bought in Sedona about 4 yrs ago).

Sun Pendant

He looked like he had served in the military and carried himself that way. The man looked at my necklace and his face softened up with a smile. The man said “Oh that’s nice, is that the North Star?” I said “No, it’s a Sun…I bought it in Sedona”. His reply surprised me when he said “Oh, that’s so cute”…The lady that was with him got a strange look on her face like she was surprised at what he had said. I was surprised myself…”Oh, that’s so cute” was not something I expected to hear from a man of his stature.

I immediately realized how closed minded I was being.  What that showed me today was that I need to let go of old beliefs, old thought patterns, and especially old stereotypes…totally throw that old junk out the door. Detach completely from the old world way and allow the new to manifest…I had already judged this man before he even opened his mouth and that’s the only reason why I was surprised by his response.

If my reality is going to change, I have to allow it to happen without stopping it with outdated beliefs. The only blocks that will interfere with changes in my reality are my old expectations and outdated perceptions. Now more than ever, I need to completely detach and allow the seeds to blossom into something new.

I have no idea why that small interaction affected me so much. It doesn’t sound like a big deal, but for some reason it really woke me up. It served as my wake up call. I got the message that this was only the beginning with much more to come. This next phase is going to take A LOT of discipline, but now that I’m aware, I know I can do it with no problem. I’m probably going to see a lot of stuff that will surprise me on a daily basis…maybe even shock me. This is going to be fun to see things that I totally wouldn’t expect happen more and more everyday… I’m going to sit back and enjoy the theatrics…this is gonna be very entertaining 🙂

Popcorn

~***~

As for energy sensations, I’ve been hearing the LOUD annoying tone in my right ear for the past 3 days again (sigh)…and the nerves in multiple teeth on both sides of my mouth have all been twitching at the same time (I’m finding that this happens every time I feel intense energies and the twitching stops when the energies calm down).

Last week, on two separate days,  I had heart palpitations that lasted non-stop for about 20 minutes straight.  That worried me, so I’m going to see a Cardiologist next week just to be safe.  I had the fibromyalgia radiating lower body pain for a few days last week, but I did some energy clearing exercises (Shushumna and chakras) and it went away.  These are some intense energies plowing through right now…nothing subtle about it 😦

I read the new GaiaPortal post today and it said:

“Rendition of Cosmic Energies into Gaia usable form is currently at maximum allowable levels.

Streams of blue crystalline needle configureds are continuing dissolution of all unusable old paradigm concepts.

Higher movements of Gaia protectives continues unabated.

Incoming Cosmics are soon to assume primary function in the Gaia collective dimensional scheme.”

The GaiaPortal post can be found HERE

The part where it mentions “blue crystalline needle configureds” caught my eye. It reminds me of a post that someone wrote about one of my Sedona pictures (the picture was taken on 12/12/09) that captured what he called “Blue Star Kachina blue needles penetrations”. This is the first time I’ve seen anyone else write about “blue needle” energies since then.

The article about my picture can be found HERE

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~***~

Things are slowly changing.  The signs are everywhere…I have Faith and Believe that we have already brought these changes forward/backward through creation…now we just need to sit back and allow them to manifest…Detachment is Key ❤

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Love ❤

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**A few weeks after writing this blog, I found some posts by other bloggers that seem to resonate with higher awareness of changes happening within our perception and the reflection of the world around us…

http://lucas2012infos.wordpress.com/2014/01/07/lucas-the-waiting-room-an-energetic-experience-7-january-2014/

http://amethystreign.com/2014/01/01/changes-in-plain-sight-a-new-years-message-by-bella-capozzi-january-1-2014/

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AND SO IT IS 😉

Energy Sensations – Update November 17th – 18th, 2013

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Spiritual Fire

November 17, 2013

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For the past couple of days I’ve been feeling what I call “hot spots”. It’s when I feel simultaneous tiny electrical pulses on different parts of my body at the same time. For example, I felt a spot on my right knee at the same exact time as on my left forearm….or I felt it on my right hip at the same exact time as my left shoulder. There’s been a consistent pattern of left and right sides firing up together.

I’ve felt this sensation off and on for the past few years but it seems to be very active in the past two days. In the past I’ve felt it maybe a few times a day but am now feeling it several times an hour. Since it’s been so much more active, it’s given me the chance to really focus on it and figure out a better way to explain it. I used to explain it as a poking sensation, but now as I’m tuning into it, I’m getting the message that it’s an electrical pulse “firing up” sensation. There is some heat to it and it only lasts for a few seconds. When it happens, it lasts for the same exact amount of time on the two simultaneous locations on my body.

                                                            The Nadis

nadis

I’m also getting that this is on an etheric level, so maybe it’s activation of smaller nadis? I’ve read that there are something like 72,000 of them, so that’s a lot of nadis to awaken and cleanse. Maybe it’s the pulses firing up through the nadis that have normally been congested or stagnant and are now becoming active causing the discomfort? While I was searching pictures, I found a picture that had the quote “Nadis – the real burning bush”. That makes sense to me. “Firing up”, “electrical pulses”, “burning bush”…. I guess the nadis do look like branches of a bush, don’t they?…Maybe the activated nadis completely “fired up” could be the true meaning of the burning bush in the Bible? I can see where Kundalini Tummo fire would play a part in that…

I’ve also noticed that the liquid light type energy that I feel moving around on my body now has a thicker and slower sensation. I can compare it to feeling like the consistency of warm water in the past, but now feels thick and slow flowing like honey. I know it sounds weird but it actually feels REALLY good. It’s very soothing. It seems to spend a lot of time at my temples and pulling on my lower back.

For the past two days I’ve also been feeling pulling sensations on my Solar Plexus as I’m falling asleep or in a very relaxed state. The energies in and around my body are extremely active right now and have many different things going on at the same time.

I’m seeing lots of tiny grey, bright white and blue sparkles of energy manifesting around me throughout the day. I just walked from my bedroom to the kitchen and I completely walked through something in the middle of the room. I looked back to see what it was, but it was gone. It looked illuminated white and came up to the height of my abdomen.

That loud annoying tone in my right ear is gone and it’s now back to the high pitched hiss sound. I like that sound better because it’s easier to ignore. Sometimes it’s so high pitched that I can barely even notice that it’s there.

~***~

November 18, 2013

Last night I had the “turning in on myself” feeling which I imagine is the Torus movement. When this happens, I tend to feel like I’m losing my breath and I need to relax and breathe deeply. It didn’t last too long, maybe 15 minutes. After that, I had the sensation of air moving through my Root chakra. It feels like I have an actual hole in my body and that air is forcefully moving through it. I usually get that sensation in the Sacral chakra, but this time it’s just the Root. I also noticed an increase in the energy flooding out of my feet, so maybe there’s some heavy grounding or anchoring going on…The Root sensation is still active today.

I realized today on a Spiritual website that someone had a profile picture that looked kind of like the “turtle shell” energy I’ve been seeing :

energy turtle shell

I thought that was pretty interesting because this person creates pictures from what they see in visions. Maybe they’re sensing and seeing the same energy that I’m seeing? I wonder what it means or what this energy represents ?

I went to the grocery store earlier and couldn’t help but realize how people are constantly on their i-phones and not paying attention to their surroundings. I’m not exaggerating when I say that every single person I encountered in the store either bumped into me with their cart because they were reading messages on their phones, were at a complete stop and blocking the entire isle while flipping through their phone, or was not paying attention that they were next to checkout because they were too busy texting.  It’s like everyone is in programmed robot or zombie mode. They all seemed to walk slower than normal and were numb to their surroundings.  I saw a guy walk into the middle of the street the other day while he was looking at his phone and he almost got hit by a car…

That reminds me of a photo I found :

Zombie

They’re EVERYWHERE and they’re taking over ! – LOL 🙂

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Trip to Sedona 11.11.13

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At the last minute I decided to take a trip by myself to Sedona yesterday.  My boyfriend didn’t feel like going with me.  It’s less than a 2 hr drive, so it’s pretty convenient.  The energies were amazing!  I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much energy rushing through me while in Sedona.  My whole Shushumna felt like it was swelling with energy.  I went to the usual spot which is Bell Rock…Ahhh…my favorite path to take…

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I got some pretty cool colors in some “selfies” that I took:

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11.11.13

Every time I go to Sedona I stop by at my favorite store Crystal Magic (I didn’t take a picture of it)

Crystal Magic

The energy in that store is SO AMAZING I’ve never experienced anything like it.  Just from walking around in there, I can feel a heightened vibration.  This time I was so full of Bliss that I got really dizzy.  They have a small room in the back where they keep the really big crystals (like 20 lbs or bigger) and I always go in there to get charged up.  I felt like I was walking on air when I walked out of there!  I felt so relaxed, I could have taken a 5 hour nap on their floor-LOL

Unfortunately they don’t have a website but if you’re ever in Sedona, I highly recommend visiting that big crystal room in the back…It’s pure Bliss in there!

As I’m typing this, I just heard 2 owls “Hooing” at my back door…These energies for the past couple of days have been so beautiful.  I wish I felt like this every day 🙂

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owl

Love ❤

Energy Sensations – Update November 8, 2013

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Sun
This is a picture of the X-class flare on November 8, 2013
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On November 3rd, I felt a huge influx of energy come in and the nerves in my teeth and face started twitching again.  It was REALLY strong…Since then, I’ve been hearing a very LOUD, annoying, fluctuating tone in my right ear and I’m starting to get a little grumpy…That’s 5 days of constant ANNOYING tones…it reminds me of the movie Dumb and Dumber when Jim Carey shows someone what he thinks “the most annoying sound in the world” sounds like…

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Yep, that sounds about right – LOL smile1
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It’s so strange though, because I didn’t hear this tone a few weeks back when we had all of those X and M class flares. Why the loud tones now all of a sudden? Now if I add that tone with the lovely scent of dog poop that the wind is bringing in from our annoying neighbors yard, I have a constant reminder that I’m still in 3D 😦

I think it’s best I stay indoors right now while we’re getting pummeled with energies from the sun (and what also feels like Galactic energies)…not a good time for me to be around people, I guess…

I seem to be picking up on the symbolism of “keys” everywhere… It started with having a dream two nights in a row, of me trying to find a key to my home…I was looking everywhere for a single key to open the front door. A few days later, I had a vision of a key being handed to me and it kind of looked like this:

infinity key

I got the message that the infinity symbol had importance in this key. Then I got an image in my mind of an Ankh with an infinity symbol at the top of it (instead of a circle)… I did a little research on the internet and then I found this picture that caught my attention:

Atenrays

It’s like the sun rays are handing you a key (Ankh). I’ll have to do some more research but this seems pretty interesting so far. To be honest, I really don’t know much about either symbol so I guess it’s time to learn what they represent and try to find the connection… The word “key” is popping out at me when I read stuff and is being mentioned in many different blogs and articles lately.

Besides being a little crabby, I’ve also been having some Bliss download episodes here and there…they seem to be coming in at the Crown frequently. Also lots of buzzy vibrating energy on my entire left leg which feels like vibrating molecules…it gives me the sensation like my leg is disappearing, it feels so weird. I also had a large cluster of nerves twitching on the left side of my lower back for a few hours. On Wednesday, I kept seeing a bright blue orb by my face and it was there for hours. It didn’t move anywhere else, it was just in the same exact place and kept flickering in and out of my view.

When I started to fall asleep, I could feel a sensation on my right side underneath my ribs like someone was inserting a large needle very slowly and very deeply into my skin. I’ve felt this before over the years and it’s always in the same location…and it always happens when I’m in that groggy sleepy state where I can’t fully wake up. It stings just like a real needle would feel when I get my blood drawn at the doctor’s office. It doesn’t hurt too much and I just fall back asleep. I wonder if it’s in the area of my liver?

About 5 months ago I found out that my gallbladder was failing and was only working at 12% (normal is 35%). The doctor wanted to remove my gallbladder but I refused. I wanted to try to take natural remedies like teas and supplements first. I recently got a new doctor and he had me do another test to check the gallbladder again…can you believe that the test showed that my gallbladder is completely healed and now working at 40% ?! I think our bodies are releasing so much so quickly that we’ll have lots of disorders come and go in a very short time frame. It’s always good to get a doctor’s opinion, but I would follow your gut feeling if you don’t want to do anything drastic. I also had hypothyroidism last year that corrected itself and my thyroid is working perfectly on it’s own now.

I’m not sure exactly where all of these energies are coming from right now…it feels like it’s so much more than just solar flares to me. These energies feel similar to what I felt on 12/21/12… Whatever’s going on, it’s a pretty potent tsunami of energy. Getting plenty of rest, drinking lots of water and trying to keep my sanity is on my “To Do” list…God grant me the Serenity…Happy surfing !. . . surf

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And I need to get one of these signs for my annoying neighbor:
doggy

Pleeeeze !

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Energy Sensations – Update October 24, 2013

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12 point

(The picture above is from the website http://www.universallifetools.com/)

I had a pretty cool lucid dream this morning.  I was shown that I was in the middle of an illuminated 12 pointed star and the star points were coming out of my body.  I’m thinking that it was the 12 pointed lightbody being activated (as explained by Earthkeeper Tyberonn as the Mer-ka-va).  I changed the picture above to pink and lavender tones because that’s how I saw it in my dream…

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crystal skulls

But I was also shown how this 12 pointed star lightbody worked in relation to the “13 crystal skulls”.  I was shown that the skulls would be activated by a person/people, not just by the physical 13 crystal skulls coming together.  The activation was going to be by activating the 12 pointed star lightbody and the person/people being “crystalline” was what would act as the 13th crystal skull activation.  From my understanding, it is“Crystalline” fully merged and integrated with Feminine Christ Consciousness aspect (aka  the 13th disciple) as being the key.  I don’t know, but it seems that was the message…It’s a bit confusing and I’ve been having a hard time putting my visions into words lately.

I understood that NOW or “in this now” this could not be accessed by anyone with the “wrong intentions” (like they show in the Indiana Jones movie – lol) because you must attain crystalline (balanced) status to be aligned with it…and we all know how much Light work that will take!  That’s just my limited interpretation of it, but I’m sure there’s much more involved…(**See video below, from Magenta Pixie, at very bottom of this post for update**)

 

I woke up from the dream because my tongue was burning with an electrical flickering sensation.  I’ve had a subtle consistent electrical pulse running through my tongue for a couple of months now and it got so strong during this dream that it startled me awake.

driving-at-night

When I fell back to sleep after I briefly woke up, I had another dream that I was in a car with my best friend (she’s also going through the Ascension process on a very physical level).  We were driving at night and noticed that the dashboard of the car was not lighting up and I couldn’t see the speedometer.  I completely stopped the car and tried driving again, and the dashboard lit up completely that time.  I wasn’t steering the car with my hands though, I was steering with my mind…and the road was moving and curving into the direction that I wanted to go…like the road was fluid and it could move any way I wanted it to.  It was pretty cool to see the road and the middle lines moving and shifting.  When I woke up, I got the idea that the car was also symbolism for the lightbody.  Maybe there’s a large group going through this level of lightbody activation right now? That seems to be the message I’m getting…

**Quite a while after writing about the lucid dream, on February 22, 2014, I got a newsletter email from Earthkeeper Tyberonn.  In the email, he included a video of the Crystal Skull “Sha Na Ra” that was taken on 12-12-12.  The video shows purple/pinkish energy coming out of the top of the skull just like the colors I saw in my dream…Pretty awesome sync 🙂

Video of Sha Na Ra Crystal Skull:


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As I mentioned above, my tongue’s had a pulse of energy running through it on a daily basis.  In the past few days, I’ve also had nerves twitching in various teeth and a strange burning feeling in different places on my teeth, gums and jaw.  I’m assuming it has to do with the energies.  I know El Collie has mentioned feeling like all of her teeth were aching at the same time during her Kundalini experience.  I think it has to do with the energies once they reach your head and upper chakras.  I’ve had a lot of energetic activity on my face, jaw, tongue, upper palate and upper chakras lately.

On Tuesday (October 22nd)  I had one of the worst sinus migraines I’ve had in many years.  I felt like my head was going to explode.  I’m 100% sure that it was my sinuses.  Sometimes when our sinuses get inflamed, it can radiate pain to our teeth since the sinuses sit right on top of the teeth.  It can mimic a full on toothache.  Here’s a picture of a panoramic view x-ray:

sinusdentalxray

The pink area is where the sinuses are…notice how they sit just above the back teeth.  That’s exactly where my teeth were hurting when I had the sinus headache.  I could feel really heavy pressure downloads in the Crown and 3rd eye area and my Crown was swaying throughout the day, so I’m sure that’s why I got the sinus irritation.  It seems to happen when I get the “heavy” downloads as opposed to the “blissful” ones.

I’ve also had multiple nerves twitching like crazy in my thighs and buttock muscles on both legs for a couple of weeks.  They’re twitching so hard that you can see my skin moving and flinching on my thighs.  It’s so bizarre.  What do my thighs and buttock muscles have to do with this process? Maybe it’s due to meridians? I don’t know… I’ve also noticed that the tone I usually hear in my ears now sounds like a hiss sound.  It’s like it’s so high pitched that it no longer registers as a tone.

Crown downloads, migraines, nerves twitching, tongue pulsing, hissing noises…  I can only imagine what I sound like to the average person…LOL

CrazySmiley

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**On August 9, 2014, Magenta Pixie posted a video speaking of the Crystal Skull activation…She speaks of the Crystal Skulls around the 8:20 mark…Pretty awesome sync! 🙂
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Love ❤

Clearing The Shadows

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Be-still___

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I’ve been immersed in a deep stillness for the past few weeks.  It was difficult to put anything into words so I wasn’t able to write anything for quite a while.  This seems to be a new level of peaceful calm that I’ve never experienced before…it’s even difficult to put into words what it feels like.

~***~

October 8, 2013

Last night something strange happened…when I was trying to go to sleep, I found that I couldn’t actually fall asleep.  I was in some type of “in between” state of consciousness where I was still aware that I was in my bedroom, but I was also somewhere else…almost like I was expanded everywhere.  I kept slipping out of this consciousness because I was feeling a strong pulling sensation on my solar plexus, but I’d immediately fall back into this in between state.  I kept hearing something moving around in the room with me.  I felt like I was in an extreme state of heightened awareness…almost like I could hear things for miles.

This has happened a few times before, but it usually lasts for many hours, sometimes an entire 8 hours worth of sleep time.  When it’s happened in the past, I felt like I didn’t get any sleep at all.  This time I was able to finally fall asleep and have a dream.  This dream was of me clearing shadows.  It was like there were many shadows that were crossing over and I was supervising them.

shadows

I get the feeling that they were agreeing to be transmuted/transcended.  It wasn’t a fight or a struggle, they were actually surrendering because their work was done and their purpose had been served.  It was not about being defeated, it was about being finished with their purpose.

desert

At the end of the dream, I was in the middle of nowhere in a huge desert.  It looked like New Mexico or Arizona.  It was overcast and dark, kind of gloomy like the lower astral realm.

I was witnessing tall black shadow figures walking off of the land of this huge desert.  They were voluntarily leaving so that they could be transmuted.  There were so many of them coming out of the ground and I got the feeling that they had occupied the land for many generations.  They were the creations of some very dark work…but were now free to leave from the cycle they had been stuck in.  They were not fleeing; they were just walking calmly in slow motion, all of them walking toward the same direction.

The word that I got from witnessing these shadows was “Transcendence”.   The cycle they had served for so long had now come to an end.   It was a mutual agreement and the purpose that they had served for so long had now come to an end…It was done very peacefully…no judgment…I just understood that they were playing a role.

I’m not sure what this all means…Was I witnessing my own clearing or was it something on a much larger scale? If it is larger, maybe I’ll read something about it soon (**see links below)…but I do feel like it’s been done on a very large scale and some very deeply rooted darkness has now been liberated…It’s so strange because I also felt (and still feel) such a peaceful calm around me.  I would think that dealing with such darkness would cause maybe some agitation or nervousness (as it has in the past for me), but I didn’t experience anything other than Peace and balance throughout the whole process.  It was actually very beautiful with a touch of sadness…It’s almost like I felt sorry for them…or maybe I was just picking up on the melancholy vibe?

It might sound corny, but I kept hearing the song “The Air That I Breathe” by the Hollies when I woke from the dream…it keeps playing in my head when I think of the dream now.  I can’t help but laugh…it seems silly to me…

The song is here:

I wrote this blog on October 8th, but felt that I shouldn’t post it right away…I needed some time to settle and see how I felt about it over a period of time…What has happened over the last week is that I came to a better understanding of what “roles” are played in this game of illusion.  I’ve come to a deeper understanding of light and dark.  For the first time, I truly understand (feel) that there is no separation.  It’s very difficult to put into words.

I can’t seem to get that feeling of “sadness” or “melancholy” from the shadow figures out of my mind (Heart)…it’s been continuously playing over and over again and the feeling has stayed with me.  The feeling is settling with me, but it’s changing and getting lighter as each day passes. Maybe it’s integrating?  I don’t know… I apologize for not being able to explain it better since it’s a new feeling and experience for me.  The only thing I can say for certain is that I have a whole new respect for the roles that the shadows have played in the illusion.  The masks have been removed and what I see is a familiar face.

It reminds me of the end of the movie “The Game” when Michael Douglas finds out that everything he had been through was just a game…everyone was just playing a role and he was so relieved that everyone was really his friend not his enemy.

Movie scene can be found here:

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I’ve reached a whole new level of understanding and it feels very good.  The more layers I work through on the inside, the more veils are lifted on the outside. Awareness and realization on a whole new level… My views of this world and everything in it are rapidly changing at an accelerated pace…a little more every day…I’m starting to remember 😉

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Shine

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**After posting this blog, I found an article from Lisa Renee that she posted on October 28, 2013…all I can say is WOW…she explains everything that I witnessed in my lucid dream…WOW – what a sync !… The article can be found here: http://www.energeticsynthesis.com/index.php/resource-tools/blog-timeline-shift/2308-new-physicalization-begins

**I also found an article from Sandra Walter posted on October 25th, 2013.  I really resonated with what she wrote and it seems to tie in with what I’ve written.  The article can be found here: http://www.sandrawalter.com/the-silence-the-stream-the-fractal/#comments

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Love ❤

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Energy Sensations – Update September 16, 2013

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GTummo

My Kundalini fired up yesterday.  Out of nowhere, I felt the Tummo fire move up to the back of my neck.  I was taught in my Reiki Tummo class to stand against the wall to straighten up my spine so that the Tummo could move more freely, so I did that.  It hasn’t been too often that this has happened randomly while I’m awake, so I made sure I made the most of it. It lasted for about twenty minutes. The Tummo fire will rapidly burn off impurities and accelerate the purification process.  I’ll take all the help I can get ! 😉

Had a strange dream last night…In the dream I was outside looking around because I heard some noise and I realized there were thousands of black helicopters hovering in the sky.  I had a childhood friend with me and I pointed the helicopters out to him so he would look.  We were amazed at the sight of the entire sky filled with them.  As we were looking, I noticed that trees were falling over in the distance…then noticed that a tsunami was coming toward us near a mountain in the distance.

I remember telling him not to worry because as long as he was with me, nothing would happen to him. The tsunami was gaining speed and I could see a huge wall of water rising up into the sky coming toward us.  I pulled him by his arm and we ran as fast as we could into the house…we were able to slam the door just before the water touched us. The tsunami wiped out  everything around us but not the house we were in, we were safe there.  I knew in the dream that I had control over whatever it was that was happening…it’s like I was aware that it was just an illusion.  The rest of the dream was spent trying to pack our stuff to leave the area.

There seems to be a theme with strong forces of water for me lately.  I’m seeing this everywhere and now it’s in my dreams too. First with my dream of the water rushing through my Shushumna and now this dream about the tsunami… I’ve also been seeing a theme of mirrors or things mirroring itself (number sequences, symbolism in movies etc)…and also gold and silver are playing a large part in my reality. I read somewhere that gold represents the masculine and silver represents the feminine, sun and moon, Ida and Pingala…

When I was a teenager I remember I had a dream that I fell off of a sinking ship in the middle of the sea.  The sky was pitch black with just a faint soft glow from the moon.  I was floating in the water trying to find something to hold on to and I saw something illuminated moving toward me from a distance.  When it got closer to me, I realized that it was two illuminated snakes fighting with each other in the water.  One snake was gold and the other one was silver.  They were fighting and twirling around each other with an electrical current emanating from them.  The feeling from the dream stayed with me throughout the years and I’ve always remembered it like if it happened yesterday.

I found this picture many years later and it reminds me of the dream:

snakes

There seems to be so much more to this with the water, mirrors, gold and silver…I just can’t quite figure it out.  Like something’s brewing up inside of me and one day I’ll just have this profound realization of what it all means.  It feels like there’s a faint memory but I can’t quite grasp it.

My 3rd eye has been more active in the last couple of weeks.  I woke up one morning seeing what I call the “turtle shell energy”.  It looks like this:

turtle shell

I’ve seen it a few times but I have no idea what it is.  When I see it, it looks like white illuminated odd shaped circles within circles all forming a pattern.

The next day I woke up to seeing the “molecule” energy all around me.  It reminds me of the TV screen when you lose connection and it looks like snow.  It looks like this:

Snow

Since then I’ve seen the regular gridlines and some bright blue orbs.  I’ve also seen my aura flickering like if there’s light emanating out of me flickering outward on a large scale.  The flickering light has happened quite a bit lately.  Sometimes I see it with my eyes closed too…

I’ve been seeing 12:12 everywhere quite frequently.  I even weighed myself two days in a row and my digital scale said I weighed 121.2…also continuing to see 555 and 222 everywhere.  Things have been pretty calm and I’m still able to stay centered and balanced.  I don’t even get mad at my boyfriend anymore (which is a miracle in itself – LOL).  It wasn’t until my life became so calm that I realized just how chaotic it used to be (especially working in law enforcement).  I would never be able to go back to that life…my physical body wouldn’t be able to handle the stress anymore.  It’s like, you don’t realize that you’ve had a knot in your stomach for most of your life until the knot is gone.  Why was I so afraid of change…why didn’t I do this sooner?

Sometimes I fantasize about living in a monastery and devoting the rest of my life to studying Buddhist texts…but I know in my Heart that it’s not what I’m here for this time.  Sometimes we long for what’s comfortable for us and sometimes what’s comfortable for us is what we’ve already done.  That time has passed for me and it’s time for something new.  I’m just not sure what that is yet…I trust that the Universe will lead me in the right direction…

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Love ❤

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Energy Sensations – Update August 30, 2013

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Imagine

It’s been a long healing process since my 2nd emergency surgery on August 7th.  I’m starting to feel much better.  I didn’t realize how awful you could feel just from your Hemoglobin level being low (anemia).  I got my blood level back to 12 (the normal level) and am starting to feel MUCH better.  Low Hemoglobin can contribute to feeling fatigue, dizziness and nausea (if it gets low enough it can lead to heart failure).  For the rest of my life, I will have my Hemoglobin level checked periodically to make sure I maintain the proper levels.

On August 22nd it seems that a better choice for my living arrangement had manifested.  Out of the blue, my cousin offered for me to move into his new house.  It’s a beautiful 4 bedroom 4 bath 2,885 sq ft home near Laguna Hills in California.  He bought it on a short sale for $555,000.  I thought it was funny that the price had the triple 5’s in it, because I’ve been seeing triple 5’s so frequently for quite a while (and also seeing 222 which I sense as mirroring the 555).  The house is in a beautiful secure gated community where you need to be cleared by a security guard booth just to get in…the reality show “Real Housewives of Orange County” was actually filmed in that community.  I’m SO HAPPY!  Having a nice comfortable place to live has taken so much stress from my energy and from my life in general 🙂

Something strange happened early hours Tuesday morning (Aug. 27th).  Out of nowhere, I started to feel a really strange compression sensation on my entire body…I’ve never felt anything of this magnitude in my entire life…it started with the sensation of blood rushing to my head and feeling my heart pulse in my face…chills were emanating throughout my body and it felt like every single nerve in my body was firing up in waves… the sensation made me squirm around on my bed to try to make it stop.  It was so overwhelming that I was praying for it to stop.  The feeling started to make me feel claustrophobic like everything was closing in around me and I began to have a panic attack.  I was hyperventilating from the stress that my physical body was experiencing.  It literally felt like I was being compressed and I felt like I couldn’t breathe!

In my state of panic, the only thing I could think of to do was to take the maximum dose of Benadryl to make me feel drowsy and calm me down a bit.  To my surprise, the Benadryl actually did help.  The drowsiness took the edge off, and I was able to calm down and stop fighting the sensations, allowing them to flow through me completely.  The sensations stopped after about an hour and I was able to fall asleep.  I ended up sleeping for almost 20 hours. The feeling did not return once I woke up.   Whatever happened, I now feel like I’m in a different space.  Everything is much lighter.  It’s almost like I feel a guarantee that everything will be ok.  There is no doubt about it anymore…It’s a state of confidence that is familiar to me, but has not played a large part in my life so far.

I’ve been reading in comments on some blogs that quite a bit of people have been feeling extremely emotional, angry, and some even suicidal in the past week.  This makes me wonder if the feeling of me wanting to die while in the hospital had more to do with an energy shift than with what I was going through in the hospital? It’s possible that I was going through an energy shift at a very bad time and my feelings of grief were amplified by the emergency situation I was in.  Everything happens for a reason, I just haven’t quite figured out yet why I came so close to dying.  Maybe it had to do with the whole “rebirth” “resurrection” theme?

The only other sensations I’ve felt in the last few days have been heavy Crown and 3rd eye downloads, the energy inside of my body swaying from left to right, the back side of my chakras buzzing and an overall sense of wellbeing while fully balanced and centered.  These past few days I’ve just been catching myself daydreaming of all the things I want to do with my life, imagining myself living in my cousin’s beautiful house, and eventually happily living in New York.  I feel a sense of excitement and renewal.  Whatever this new space is that I find myself in now, I’d like to stay here…it feels pretty darn good 🙂

Peacock

Asking To Opt Out

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Suffering

I’m really confused right now, but I wanted to write about what’s going on at the moment…

I had a simple surgery to remove a little cyst on my ovary and some endometriosis on August 5th by my Gynecologist.  She did a laparoscopic procedure where they go in through the belly button and pump a bunch of air in my abdomen using a scope to navigate.  The surgery appeared to go well, they removed a tiny little cyst and a small patch of endometriosis, and I only had a tiny scar.  I went home 3 hrs after the surgery…

As soon as I got home, I had MAJOR pain and was back in the emergency room.  An X-ray showed that part of my intestine was ballooned out full of air (EXCRUCIATING pain)…Long story short, it appeared that the stupid laparoscopic machine (Da Vinci robot machine) accidentally punctured one of my blood vessels (possibly) and I had internal bleeding in an area that was not near where the surgery was done.  It took them 2 days to identify this, and my HG blood count went down to 4.5 (average is 12), my abdomen was in excruciating pain, I was fainting (fell and hit my head on the toilet), hallucinating and hearing this loud sound in my head that sounded like a jet engine.

On August 7th, I needed a blood transfusion ( 4 bags of blood, plasma, and platelets) and a 2nd surgery…A general surgeon had to come in and open up my entire abdomen from top to bottom to try to find out where the bleeding was coming from (so much for my tiny little scar 😦  And the scary part was that they couldn’t find it, so they just had to patch up some areas with some surgical foam where they saw blood clots hoping it would work.

I was in so much pain, I’ll be honest, I asked God to please let me die.  I was so tired of being sick and tired everyday normally, and now this was just going to add to the misery I’ve been experiencing.

After a very negative and extremely difficult 9 days in the hospital, I asked to go home because I couldn’t take smelling the nurses drenched in perfume anymore.  It was really hard for me to keep from throwing up, and with tons of staples in my abdomen, I had an idea that it would probably be one of the most painful things I’ve ever gone through.  So I went home to avoid throwing up.

The first night home I just laid there in the dark for hours and the room eventually started to turn red.  There was a red energy surrounding me and I had never seen that before.  I started to become very emotional and cry.  I asked God why this was happening to me…Why am I still here?  Why didn’t you let me die ? Is this ever going to end?

After a while of laying there the communication started to come into my head.  I was asked this question “ If you knew that by your being here (suffering), you would help to minimize the suffering of an innocent child from pain, torture, hunger, sadness or neglect, would you agree to continue as you are, or would you ask to opt out anyway?

I thought about it for a while and I said “Yes, I would continue”.  The images continued in my mind and the message that I got from them was this, “Every human being on this Earth was once an innocent child…they are still that innocent child inside…you must remember that when you interact with them.”… “You took a vow to do what it is that you are doing”.

I asked “But will it ever end…will I ever finish?”  The answer that I got was an image of  “The Void”.  I was confused by this and asked again “Will I ever finish?”  The answer that I got was that as a human, I could not fully understand the answer but that the answer was the void of creation. The answer was not something I could interpret and it was not what I might think it would be.   Then I was told to have Faith that everything is as it should be and not to focus on the difficulties that I was having at the moment, just let them flow.

Somehow it did make me feel a little better but it wasn’t the answer that I was looking for.  For the next 2 days (Tuesday and Wednesday) I had huge Crown downloads, strong pulling sensations on my lower back and constant movement on my body.  I’ve had huge electrical jolts throughout my body that shock me awake and pinching and poking sensations all over, feverish sweating.  Within 2 days of being at home, the pain has decreased dramatically and I’m up and walking around today.

Because of my ties with Buddhism, I’m pretty sure I took a Bodhisattva vow at some point.  As a human, the thought of something never ending is a very scary thing.  Can you imagine actually volunteering to continuously reincarnate over and over again…Forever?!  Can I pick some responsible parents who actually love me in my next lifetimes, or some family support or something?  At least give me something to work with!

Maybe next lifetime I can request to be a service dog 😉

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Buddhist dog

I know this is going to be a long healing process.  Somehow it seems I’ve stumbled off of my path and have hit a very low point in my journey.  I just have to continue to have Faith that everything is as it should be and take it day by day.  I’ll continue to believe that there is something better out there waiting to be created.

Love ❤

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**After I wrote this blog, I stumbled across a post that a Lama (Drikung Kagyu lineage) that I’ve met with before had put on his facebook page.  It somehow helped me to feel comfort from his honesty and a reminder that I am not alone.

Here’s what he posted next to his picture:

Lama Thubten Nima

“Yes. I am in prison, and has been in a prison of Samsara for a long time, which I do not know when it will end; whereas the regular prison has always set with a fixed timeframe, and one can come out of it when it’s done. Beings in this prison are constantly committing actions that keep them in the prison. Be aware! we are all in this prison.”

Thank you Lama 🙂

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#7 in the 37 Bodhisattva Practices:

The gods of this world are not free yet from sorrow, for caught in samsara, some day they must fall.
If they are bound as we are, how can they protect us?
How can someone in prison free anyone else?
But Buddha, his teachings and those who live by them are free to give comfort – they will not let us down.
Go to the Three Jewels of Refuge for shelter – the Sons of the Buddhas all practice this way.

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Energy Sensations – Update August 2, 2013

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go with the flow

Starting on July 27th, I began to have some very painful pineal migraines.  The kind of headache where your brain feels swollen in the middle and you want to go cross eyed…taking any medications or pain killers doesn’t help with the headache at all.   This is the longest I’ve ever had it…so many days in a row…The first time I had a headache like this for 3 days in a row (back in 2009), I went to the emergency room and had a CT scan and a spinal tap, and they couldn’t find anything wrong with me.  I’ve learned how to recognize these headaches now…

Also on July 27th I had a really bizarre lucid dream while I was taking a nap.  In the dream, I initially thought that my Kundalini was fully awakening and coming to completion to my Crown because I felt something forcefully moving up my spine…but it wasn’t the hot liquid feeling that I usually get, it just felt like a huge force of water about as wide as my head coming upward and shooting out of the top of my head full force.  This was some powerful force, like a fireman’s hose on full blast!  It felt so real and felt exactly like rushing water.

After I realized that it was water, I realized that it wasn’t actually the Kundalini, but some type of major cleansing or widening of the shushumna.  All I could do is just stand still and let it finish.  It was quite an overwhelming sensation with such power behind it that I just surrendered to it and let it continue to flow.  Once the forceful water stopped, there seemed to be some focus on the Crown and smaller streams of water (like laser precision) cleaning around the opening at the top of my head….It was a VERY realistic dream and I can recall the sensations as if it really happened…it was a really strange experience…I’m not sure what to make of it…

When I woke up from the dream, my headache was 10 times worse than it was before I fell asleep and I was burning up hot.  I felt like I had a fever. The heat emanating from my body was almost unbearable. The rest of the day I was ill…I felt like I had the flu with body aches, upset stomach and sensitivity to light.  I spent the entire day in bed feeling pain and discomfort. I kept seeing things around me that looked like orbs…feeling very disoriented and foggy and lots of energetic movement on my body in various locations…extreme fatigue…  Whatever happened in my dream, it did something to my energy.   Maybe I did it to myself to speed up the cleansing process?  I’m not sure…

I’ve felt very ill every day since then.  I’m still feeling ridiculously tired and disoriented now…My upper back, neck and jaw are full of tension and hurting pretty bad…also spasms on the Root chakra.  This seems to be a very intense cleansing period for me…when will this END ?! (sigh)…

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Let it pass

The energies are VERY busy right now…I feel that there is a potential for stress and chaos, but it’s not what one might think…it’s just that so much is passing through us right now, that it can be misinterpreted as negativity since it appears jumbled and chaotic…it’s not necessarily negative, but just chaotic energy due to there being so much of it all at once.  Does that even make any sense?  I see it as being kind of like the movie “The Butterfly Effect”…when he changes the future, and he has all of the events passing through him at the same time.  That’s the only way I can describe it as I see it.

Because of this phase, we may feel sad one moment, angry the next, happy, and then sad again…it’s just all of the energy passing through us and the key to staying balanced is to just let it go.  Most people may not understand where all of the emotions are coming from or how to deal with it…I’m physically exhausted and pretty much staying in bed, but although I’m resting, I know that my energy is very busy.  It’s a whirlwind of everything that is, that ever has been.

I didn’t notice too much physically on July 29th Grand Sextile…I did a meditation from Anrita Melchizedek called “Unified Heart Merkaba Activation” .  During the meditation, I was visualizing sending energy to different countries…as soon as I started that part of the meditation my arms moved upward like a yoga pose without me thinking about it…they just moved on their own.

Tree Pose

While I was in that pose, I felt something move under my right breast…it REALLY hurt like a stabbing pain.  It felt like something was alive and moving in there…I’m not sure what it was but I will assume that it has something to do with my Heart chakra expanding since I was doing a Unified Heart meditation.  I couldn’t really find anything online about any specific chakra under the right breast.  But there was definitely movement there and it felt more physical (heavy) than energetic (light).  I know I’ve felt buzzing under my right breast in the past, so I’ve always wondered if there is another separate chakra there that was awakening.

Other than that, I didn’t feel any more movement or any specific energies.  Now it just feels like an integration process…like I’m traveling through a sea of jumbled information, signals,  all coming at me at the same time.  I’ve learned to just let it go through me and not hold on to anything.  Holding on will create cords and cords will weigh me down…Don’t wanna get tangled…

My throat has been feeling clogged and I’ve been ridiculously tired, so I just tell people that I have the flu…So that’s all I’m getting right now…I feel there’s really not much I can do to feel better except let all of this pass through me and get some rest.  The less reactive I am to this process, the better the outcome.  I am really counting on this not lasting too much longer.

ill

Energy Sensations – Update July 24, 2013

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Truth

I woke up this morning to the song “Just Another Day” by Oingo Boingo playing in my head.  I never really paid attention to the lyrics, but I looked them up today and they’re pretty interesting…I grew up in L.A. listening to KROQ classic alternative/New Wave, so most songs I hear in my head are from the 80’s.  The original KROQ DJ’s (Richard Blade, Jed the Fish, The Swedish Eagle etc..) are now playing on Sirius/XM radio on channel 33 “The Wave”…It’s amazing how many of those 80’s songs have Spiritual meanings that I never paid attention to or realized until now…

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My Heart chakra and High Heart chakra had a huge opening late last night around 11pm.  There was a strong pressure sensation on my chest accompanied by a very strong vibrating on the upper chest (High Heart area).  The vibration was emanating up into my throat and made my throat feel like it was disappearing….also various nerves were twitching in the middle of my chest.  It was a little uncomfortable but only lasted for a few hours.

After I wrote this, I got an update from Gaia Portal today speaking about the High Heart 🙂

The message can be found here: http://gaiaportal.wordpress.com/2013/07/24/steeled-resolution-from-the-higher-heart-is-called-upon-at-this-time/

I was feeling surges of negativity in my Solar Plexus yesterday.  It started the day before, but was amplified yesterday.   I have no idea where it was coming from. I got the feeling that it was coming in so strong at one point and then seemed to be gone once I focused on clearing it out.  Whatever it was, it wasn’t very pleasant, but thankfully didn’t last for very long.  Probably just more clearing and purification…

I’ve also had a very LOUD constant fluctuating ringing in my right ear.  In the past few days, I’ve had a temporary episode (lasted for about a minute) of complete silence take over my right ear, followed by a loud high pitched tone that drowns out all background noise.  This was not subtle at all, it was VERY strong…it made me stop what I was doing and sit down.  It’s happened on different days and only in my right ear.

I was doing a Heart meditation a few times last week and while I was doing the meditation last Tuesday, I had a vision of myself merging with a pregnant woman with a big 9 month belly.  I was seeing and feeling my body melting into her and her belly…all of a sudden my mind became aware of what was happening and I immediately snapped out of it.  I usually panic when I feel the sensation of my body melting or completely turning into liquid and will wake myself up.  It was a very strange experience…and why would I merge with a pregnant woman?  What does that mean?

honeycombgrid

I also had a lucid dream last Tuesday night, where I saw the honeycomb grid around the Earth which I had never seen before.  When I recently read some sites posting about a honeycomb grid, I just wasn’t resonating with it because it was not something that I had seen or experienced yet.  When I see gridlines, they’re just the regular square or rectangle gridlines.  But in the lucid dream, I saw the honeycomb grid and even said out loud “Wow, I’m finally seeing this grid…it really does exist”…the honeycomb grid I saw was illuminated golden light.

A website that writes about the honeycomb grid can be found here:

http://earthhive.wordpress.com/

I’ve been waking up in the mornings with the strange sensation of my whole body being filled with vibrating molecules…it’s a strange sensation and it takes a while for it to stop once I wake up.  It reminds me of when you get the snow on your television when you lose the connection…I feel like that’s what my energy would look like. I was searching for a picture of a body with molecules in it, and I found this picture below:

Borofsky MoleculeMan

The title of this sculpture is “Molecule Man”…The funny thing about it is that this picture of the sculpture is between the Roybal Building and the Federal building in downtown L.A. and I worked there for many years in the 90’s!  I used to see this sculpture every day… It seems that the visual signs on our path are everywhere; we just may not make sense of them until many years later… 🙂

A description of the sculpture can be found here:

http://www.publicartinla.com/CivicCenter/moleculeman.html

I’ve also been getting flashes in my peripheral vision of my body parts turning into light.  I saw my whole hand light up and also another time I saw part of my arm light up.

Higher chakras are being fine tuned and lots of activity on the Crown, 3rd eye, and temples.  I felt a big liquid blob moving around in my Solar Plexus last week.  It was a very high vibrational energy, whatever it was, because I felt the liquid bliss feeling from it…then it moved to the right side of my face and was moving around my right temple.  I LOVE to feel that type of energy because it feels like a liquid cellular massage of pure Bliss…When I get hit with that energy, I just stop whatever I’m doing and relax so it will take over.  The more I relax and surrender, the stronger it gets and the better it feels.

There’s been so much talk about “Living waters” and “Liquid light” I wonder if that has anything to do with what I’m feeling?  I never really understood what was meant by “Living waters” but that would be a good description of this sensation…Living waters meaning the pure essence of God?  Maybe that’s what the true meaning of being baptized by water means?  It’s something internal, not external…I think I read some Biblical text that spoke of Living waters flowing from the belly.  Could the belly mean the Solar Plexus?  That gives me something to think about…

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Scene from the movie “Donnie Darko” :

donniedarko