It’s been a long healing process since my 2nd emergency surgery on August 7th. I’m starting to feel much better. I didn’t realize how awful you could feel just from your Hemoglobin level being low (anemia). I got my blood level back to 12 (the normal level) and am starting to feel MUCH better. Low Hemoglobin can contribute to feeling fatigue, dizziness and nausea (if it gets low enough it can lead to heart failure). For the rest of my life, I will have my Hemoglobin level checked periodically to make sure I maintain the proper levels.
On August 22nd it seems that a better choice for my living arrangement had manifested. Out of the blue, my cousin offered for me to move into his new house. It’s a beautiful 4 bedroom 4 bath 2,885 sq ft home near Laguna Hills in California. He bought it on a short sale for $555,000. I thought it was funny that the price had the triple 5’s in it, because I’ve been seeing triple 5’s so frequently for quite a while (and also seeing 222 which I sense as mirroring the 555). The house is in a beautiful secure gated community where you need to be cleared by a security guard booth just to get in…the reality show “Real Housewives of Orange County” was actually filmed in that community. I’m SO HAPPY! Having a nice comfortable place to live has taken so much stress from my energy and from my life in general 🙂
Something strange happened early hours Tuesday morning (Aug. 27th). Out of nowhere, I started to feel a really strange compression sensation on my entire body…I’ve never felt anything of this magnitude in my entire life…it started with the sensation of blood rushing to my head and feeling my heart pulse in my face…chills were emanating throughout my body and it felt like every single nerve in my body was firing up in waves… the sensation made me squirm around on my bed to try to make it stop. It was so overwhelming that I was praying for it to stop. The feeling started to make me feel claustrophobic like everything was closing in around me and I began to have a panic attack. I was hyperventilating from the stress that my physical body was experiencing. It literally felt like I was being compressed and I felt like I couldn’t breathe!
In my state of panic, the only thing I could think of to do was to take the maximum dose of Benadryl to make me feel drowsy and calm me down a bit. To my surprise, the Benadryl actually did help. The drowsiness took the edge off, and I was able to calm down and stop fighting the sensations, allowing them to flow through me completely. The sensations stopped after about an hour and I was able to fall asleep. I ended up sleeping for almost 20 hours. The feeling did not return once I woke up. Whatever happened, I now feel like I’m in a different space. Everything is much lighter. It’s almost like I feel a guarantee that everything will be ok. There is no doubt about it anymore…It’s a state of confidence that is familiar to me, but has not played a large part in my life so far.
I’ve been reading in comments on some blogs that quite a bit of people have been feeling extremely emotional, angry, and some even suicidal in the past week. This makes me wonder if the feeling of me wanting to die while in the hospital had more to do with an energy shift than with what I was going through in the hospital? It’s possible that I was going through an energy shift at a very bad time and my feelings of grief were amplified by the emergency situation I was in. Everything happens for a reason, I just haven’t quite figured out yet why I came so close to dying. Maybe it had to do with the whole “rebirth” “resurrection” theme?
The only other sensations I’ve felt in the last few days have been heavy Crown and 3rd eye downloads, the energy inside of my body swaying from left to right, the back side of my chakras buzzing and an overall sense of wellbeing while fully balanced and centered. These past few days I’ve just been catching myself daydreaming of all the things I want to do with my life, imagining myself living in my cousin’s beautiful house, and eventually happily living in New York. I feel a sense of excitement and renewal. Whatever this new space is that I find myself in now, I’d like to stay here…it feels pretty darn good 🙂